Hi All

This is a song I have been fighting with since the year 2000! It is the one and only song I wrote before undertaking a song writing course in October 2012. My course teacher told me that, in its old format, it had no hope…too wordy..melody too boring..chorus too boring.. much too personal (it is in fact inspired by a personal experience)..no wide appeal…too repetitive…..etc, etc.!

But, all things go in circles and I got the inspiration to tackle it again a week or so ago and this is what I came up with. I chose a western swing theme (co-incidence that Don has also just published a western swing theme tune) and it seemed to fit the song quite nicely. The lyrics are on sound cloud

Please let me know what you think so that I can learn.

I appreciate anybody who takes the time to listen and comment.

Realtrack are:

RealTracks in style: ~~536:Bass, Acoustic, Pop Sw 120
RealTracks in style: ~~372:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 120
RealTracks in style: ~1128:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm WesternSwingWarmA-B Sw 165
RealTracks in style: ~812:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Western Swing Sw 165
RealTracks in song: ~~1788:Banjo, Tenor, Rhythm DixielandMediumA-B Sw 110
RealTracks in song: 1874:Medley [8 bars] Fiddle, Mandolin, Piano, ResGuitar, PedalStSol WestrnSwPaulSw165, GuitarElSol WestSwBrentSw165,
RealDrums in style: NashvilleSwing8^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

Need you like a hole in the head

Sounds like a fine piece from here, Love the way you ended the further down. Thanks for sharing!



My Tunes

Hi Jo
Enjoyed that. It could almost be the females point of view of Floyds "Sure Enough".
I liked some of the rhymes - "the wringer" and "get any bigger", "merry-go-round" and "futher (sic) down".
Well thought out choice for the BT - moved along nicely and carried the Story with it.
cheers
ian

I love it, Jo! The Western Swing style is the proverbial icing on the cake and gives the song a sort of "signature".

This is not a negative observation but, I think the ending was a tad too abrupt. It left me suspended in mid air waiting to be let down gently. Maybe a fadeout ending would work a might better, I don't know.

I always love you comic treatment of your lyrics. You are a very clever lyricist.

I especially like the clarity in your voice. I could understand your every word. In a Rap & Mumble world, you are so refreshing, my little friend. More please!

Nice song. Funny lyrics, lovely voice and a good choice
of backing tracks.
But I noticed sometimes the vocals lag a little
behind the beat.

Guenter

I liked the song, and the arrangement is a nice fit. Pairing downer lyrics with an upbeat setting is classic, and it works well here.

I agree with the other posters, on both the positives and negatives. The vocals are nice and understandable. The song has neat "close" rhymes going on.

But... there are some places where the vocals lag a bit behind the instruments. This is the kind of song where you probably want the vocal to slightly lead the beat. I don't know what DAW you use, but little bit of nudging can often take care of that.

One of the guitars on the chorus seems to clash with the harmony - for example, at 2:25.

I don't think the ending is so much abrupt as it doesn't give the song closure. It's an interesting effect, but it's such a large change it overshadows what's gone before.

Anyway, nice work.

Hey Joanne,

I like it. Clever down home lyrics and nice tune. Good arrangement. Your mixes are getting better all the time. Enjoyed the harmony and I like the ending. A creative and fun ending fits well in a song like this.

An easy timing trick is to turn the drums up a bit louder than the other instruments when recording vocals.

Joanne,

Another cool song. Really enjoyed this...

Bob

Hi Joanne,

I found the chorus to this song incredibly infectious (that's good thing!). You had me singing along after the first time through. Loved it!

All the best,
Noel

PGFantastic – thanks for giving it as listen and for commenting

Ian – thanks for the great comments. You are always so complimentary. Appreciate it

Don – I glad you enjoyed it. I am thinking about all the comments on the ending and may change it

Guenter and David. Thanks listening for the comments on the vocals lagging. I think I will try and rerecord the vocals first to see if that fixes the timing

Josie – thanks for the tip. I am going to try that

Bob and Noel – Thanks for the encouragement

Good old western South African swing. Nice job Joanne.

Hi Rob. Never heard of Western South Africa swing but maybe there is a market for it....

If there isn't there should be.

Quote:

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Hey Joanne,

I like it. Clever down home lyrics and nice tune. Good arrangement. Your mixes are getting better all the time. Enjoyed the harmony and I like the ending. A creative and fun ending fits well in a song like this.

An easy timing trick is to turn the drums up a bit louder than the other instruments when recording vocals.

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+ ONE here!

Nice job Joanne

Later,