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Posted By: rayc ALICE - 04/15/16 07:41 PM
A song written in 1976 but not properly recorded until recently. This is a remix done this week, (2nd week in April), trying to clear accumulated "mid mud".
Recorded in Reaper with me playing bass and noisy guitars whilst Eric Drabwell, (co-writer), sings and plays the acoustics guitars. We are still looking for a singer to nail the track and allow us to put this song in the "done" box. Originally recorded to a Roland drum machine track, then, eventually, with a RealDrum track. It took some fiddling to get this right as the drum machine tends to wander. I did learn about tapping in bars etc during the process so it was well worth it.
I worked on the drums in BIAB 2011.
RealDrums rock even8, I think.
https://soundcloud.com/rayc/alice110416wbiab
Any comments or suggestions are most welcome.
Here's a slight remix based on the comments offered:
https://soundcloud.com/rayc/alice170416
Better?
Posted By: PeterF Re: ALICE - 04/15/16 08:19 PM
Welcome to the forum.
Got a couple of 40 year old songs myself.
To me the vocals are a bit soft and the acoustic a bit prominent.
The other instruments all sounded good.
Overall a well written tune.
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 04/15/16 08:29 PM
PeterF,
Thanks mate. Yes, the vocals are soft; it's their temporary status, them not being strong enough to push forward as that shows up the relative weakness.
Prominent acoustics? OK, probably came forward after the mud reduction but my ears were obviously beyond hearing detail by then. I'll address that issue - thanks.
I have a few songs from "then". Eric & I wrote a bundle from 76 until the end of 78 and then didn't see each other until about 5 years ago - a good reason to revisit and it relaunched the writing team.
Cheers
ray
Posted By: Sergio Guarneri Re: ALICE - 04/16/16 05:52 PM

Hello
very nice song. The voice is a little low.

Good chords line.

Sergio
Posted By: floyd jane Re: ALICE - 04/16/16 06:29 PM
Ray,

A cool sound to this. The mix makes the lyrics a bit difficult to pick up.

You've got a LOT of cool guitar tracks happening. I think you need to bring them down some to let the vocal peek through. The drums sound like they are at a good level and the vocals match them. Try bringing all the guitars down a couple of dB (maybe 3). I think that is all this needs to let the vocal sit up a bit.

A very cool sound...

floyd
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 04/17/16 03:15 AM
floyd jane & Sergio,
Thanks for your comments. I tried a remixed based on your suggestions I've added the link to the original post & it's here as well:
https://soundcloud.com/rayc/alice170416
I didn't mention it previously but the synth like sounds are from a guitar FX unit - an ancient Yamaha FX500. The unit is popular with the growing resurgence of Shoegazer music.
Again, thanks.
Cheers
ray
Posted By: Noel96 Re: ALICE - 04/17/16 04:52 AM
Hi Ray,

Thanks for posting the new link. I listened to your earlier version this morning. It was a great sound but I found it challenging to make out what the words were. In the second version, it's certainly much easier to hear the lyrics.

I notice that you use Reaper. I do too. It's great software!

Welcome to the forum smile

Regards,
Noel
Posted By: Trygve Larsen Re: ALICE - 04/17/16 06:26 AM
Yeah, much better this new version of your song Ray !

BTW, is the song art signifying the reptilian hybrid race in any way ?
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 04/17/16 07:28 AM
Noel 96,
I think, as previously mentioned, that the low vocal was my response to it being a less than stellar vocal track - we're hoping for another vocalist to do a run through.
The lyrics probably need a rewrite of some sort. Not entirely cringe worthy but I did write them as an 18 year old back 1976.
Thanks for your kind words.
Reaper is very, very good isn't it!
Tryvgen Larsen,
Thank you sir. the images are from two previous bands I played in. The left side is for Pygmy Beat - an on again/off again writing and recording duo that uses musicians from around the globe in various combinations. The image on the right is from the Naked Igwanaz (deliberate misspelling)- a power pop band in Sydney in the mid 80's. The image shows a woman cuddling up to a man lizard - just my interpretation of the name and the likelihood of a "new race".
Thanks.
Cheers
ray
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: ALICE - 04/17/16 04:17 PM
Hi Rayc!

Welcome to the forum! This is my first listen to one of your songs, It may be your first song post, I don't know.

May I ask how you got here? There are getting to be quite a few regulars on the forum who hail from Australia... were you perhaps invited by one of them?

Regarding your song, I think its a very lively piece, and I like each of the interesting tracks that work together to weave the fabric of the soundscape.

I've never heard the term "shoe gazer music"... can you define it for me?

Regarding your asserting that you buried the vocals in the mix because you're not primarily a singer... I assume that means you intended to hide them? If so, consider the highly subjective nature of vocals. These days a distinctive style is at least as important as the ability to sing "well" (whatever that means)

I suggest that you accept ownership of the voice that you have, and use it with confidence, then let the chips fall where they may. No matter how an artist presents his art, some people will like it and some won't... so there's no presentation that meets with 100% thumbs up. You have a lot going for you that is VERY good, and I think a CONFIDENT vocal will gain more thumbs-up than a less confident vocal that's buried in the mix. At least, that's my opinion, not a rule by any means.

Welcome and I hope you continue posting! I look forward to seeing how your use of the software evolves!
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 04/18/16 03:37 AM
Hello Pat,
To quote ALLMUSIC:
"Shoegaze is a genre of late '80s and early '90s British indie rock, named after the bands' motionless performing style, where they stood on stage and stared at the floor while they played. But shoegaze wasn't about visuals -- it was about pure sound. The sound of the music was overwhelmingly loud, with long, droning riffs, waves of distortion, and cascades of feedback..." A bit Velvet Underground with LOTS of effects and a bit Psychedelic without the additives.
I came to the forum having exhausted the manual and my mind with my limited use/understanding of BIAB - specifically RealDrums. I was similarly taken by the number of Australians I encountered within moments. I don't think there's a Kangaroo Mafia thing going on but couldn't say for sure.
The vocals aren't mine. They belong to my collaborator in a duo named "The Newlings". Eric plays the acoustic guitar as well as the distorted electric lead lines. He can hold a tune but lacks confidence as well as range. We'd both prefer to have someone who can "sell" a song up front. When we 1st began writing in 1976 we used other voices and still prefer to do so where possible.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
Cheers
ray
Posted By: Greg Johnson Re: ALICE - 04/19/16 04:59 PM
Originally Posted By: PeterF
Welcome to the forum.
Got a couple of 40 year old songs myself.
To me the vocals are a bit soft and the acoustic a bit prominent.
The other instruments all sounded good.
Overall a well written tune.


I agree with Peter. Very nice! But really hard to hear the vocals. They sound like they are well done-Bring 'em up! Take care. Greg
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 04/20/16 04:21 AM
Hello Greg and thanks.
I've been rethinking the vocals and, in turn, the lyrics. After all, the lyric waswritten by an 18 year old me 40+ years ago.
The main concern for me is a drug reference that now sounds/reads as being out of kilter with the rest of the song as well as hopelessly naive.
Here's the lyric with the offending part and alternative highlighted.
ALICE
drabwell/cochrane

Alice says the clouds are coming down
They will wash the tears from your eyes
But what will you do when I am gone?
And the clouds are coming down

What will you do when it’s all gone?
When your supply/goodbye/lullaby is finished?
What went wrong?

Alice says the clouds are coming down again
Alice says the clouds are coming down again
A figure in the rain
A life alone
Thoughts like rain
Fall on the ground

Alice says the clouds are coming down again
Alice says the clouds are coming down

I can’t find a light
To illuminate your life
Alice says the clouds are coming down.

One ruined picture on the mantelpiece
Cracked in glass and cracked in brain
Splinters on the floor all that remain
Alice says the clouds are coming down again


Walking on a misty night
And stepping in my tears
Alice says the clouds are coming down

Waking on a moonless night
And sleeping with my fears
Thoughts of you are painful
Bringing forth the rain of years

The moon a globe reflecting light
The light of life and love
Alice says the clouds are coming down

Eclipsed the moon no longer shines
But I resist the cold caress

Alice says the world is coming down
Alice says the world is coming down





[i][/i][u][/u]
Posted By: rayc Re: ALICE - 06/15/18 08:40 AM
I've just realized I didn't post a link to the video...
A mastered version of the song that still needs a different vocal but it's fine for now.
Posted By: Scott C Re: ALICE - 06/15/18 11:25 AM
This is an excellent tune. Video was really cool as well. Loved the backtrack and excellent vocal.
Posted By: Deryk - PG Music Re: ALICE - 06/15/18 11:46 AM
I really like this tune! I'm getting a 70's rock sort of vibe here. Reminds me a bit of King Crimson at moments. It has a nice edge to it - the kind of tune I can imagine sounding amazing in a live setting.

Can't wait to hear it when it's totally finished - thanks for sharing smile
Posted By: David Snyder Re: ALICE - 06/15/18 02:46 PM
I don't see the problem with the vocals other than they need to come up. The bands sounds great. For retro stuff on SongTradr I bet you would place a song a month.

The sounds like the Smiths, sort of, and you sort of sound like Morrisey. I love your voice man. It's rock and roll.

Just turn it up for God's sake and you have a goldmine.

Sing this as loud as you can in the mirror with your hair slicked back, wearing a rumpled suit and French cuff shirts with no cuff links...

No I have never had a job
Because I never wanted one

And if you ever forget what a bad a.... guitar is, go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9EjE4qm7b8




Posted By: Al-David Re: ALICE - 06/15/18 03:22 PM
Just watched the video - nice! The song sounds terrific to me - just need to bring the vocal more forward in the mix. Has a late 70's sound to me - nothing wrong with that. Enjoyed it!

Alan
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