Another spoken-word ballad from me ... argh ;-) I really must write something upbeat sometime, but ... there you go. Hope you somehow like it all the same! Thanks so much for listening and for any comments! :-)

https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/i-cant-go-back


Lyrics:

There was this girl
I loved her so much, you know ...
As life unfurled,
I had to leave town and go.

I thought that she
Would stay forever with me;
That we would be
Together for eternity.

And I can't go back
To hold her in my arms
I can't go back
To hug her and to dance ...

And I don't regret
A moment of my time
But, when all is done and said,
I wish she was still mine ...

Whilst I was lost
She found herself another man
He can now boast
He's holding her in his arms

And I'm alone
My memories to keep me warm
And as I look
Inside my soul, there is a storm

[BRIDGE]

They married years ago
They're happy; children, too ...
I can't but hope
That life for them holds true ...

And I'm still here,
Cold fingers, by the fire ...
And sometimes I can still hear
Her voice, full of desire ...

[4 BARS SOLO]

And I can't go back
To hold her in my arms
I can't go back
To hug her and to dance ...

And I don't regret
A moment of my time
But, when all is done and said,
I wish she was still mine ...

****** Song Summary *************
Title: I Can't Go Back - 12 February 2020
File:I Can't Go Back - 12 February 2020.SGU
Key=D , Tempo 85, Length (m:s)=5:16
20 bar intro, 88 bar chorus, from bar 21 to bar 108. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
Soloist track has 236 notes, Soloist harmony is < no harmony >(0)
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Style is _OUTBACK.STY (Outback Country Ballad Soloist)

RealTracks in style: ~518:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 085
RealTracks in style: ~365:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 085
RealTracks in style: ~542:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 3446:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryBalladJohnny Ev 085
RealDrums [in style:NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

*******************

James,

An emotional, sad lyric. Nice backing track.
The vocal is a bit "boom-y".
The first solo is nice.
The 2nd - the [4 BARS SOLO] seems too busy for the song message.

fj

Nice sympathetic backing for the spoken lyric.

Nicely done.

Peter

Thanks floyd jane and Peter!

floyd jane: I agree, the vocal is too boom-y. I'll see what I can do to reduce that effect whilst preserving the sincere quality of the voice sound. The first solo is meant to evoke the "storm" of the soul that the lyrics talk about immediately prior to it ... and I know that the second one is kinda busy, but I personally liked the contrast between its busy-ness and the relative calm of the song in the moments right before and after it. Maybe that contrast didn't quite come through as well as I thought it would? but that's what I was aiming for :-)

Thanks so much for listening and giving me feedback! :-)

Hope no-one minds if I bump this up just this once, since I'd love to hear more feedback on it if at all possible? I won't do it ever again if it's a no-no, you have my word :-)

Your microphone technique has really improved - the voice sits in the mix and isn't loaded with artefacts that distract.
Lovely chord progression.
Nice work.

Thanks Ray!

You created a beautiful backing track to your spoken lyrics.

The persona's heartache comes through strongly.

Thanks Ezekiel's Storm ... I'm glad all that came through. Thanks for listening :-)

Nice chords and write and a good "band."

The spoken lyric fits nice in the mix.

Peter said it better" "Nice sympathetic backing for the spoken lyric."

Enjoyed the listens...

J&B

Thank you, Janice and Bud!

Very nice work on this James! Your backing track is a lovely/appropriate setting for your emotional lyrics! The mix on this is excellent putting the focus on the spoken word as it should be! Thanks, Torrey

Thanks Torrey - really happy you liked it!

Nice work on this - the vocal delivery sounds tender and honest, and the instrument works as a perfect vehicle for the spoken word piece.

Thanks for sharing

Thanks Deryk!!!

Yet another nice one James...
Very sad...
But I enjoyed the listen.

Thank you Jim. It genuinely means a lot to hear such nice words about it from you.

James,
"There was this girl" - as Once Upon A Time as an opening line gets!
I also like the image of cold fingers by the fire and,of course, the sincerity of your voice throughout.
An excellent progression and good backing ( I tend to agree with Floyd that the guitar solo
isn`t the best fit for the song`s feel), and your voice sits nicely in the mix.

Robert

Haha, yes - I didn't think of the "once upon a time" feeling, but yes, it's exactly that! As for the guitar solo - just before the first time it comes in, I talk about "a storm" inside of the soul, so I was hoping that this guitar sound (which does otherwise sound "out of place" somewhat - but intentionally so here, given what I'm trying to explain) would evoke the idea of this precise storm of the soul in its solos. It probably didn't have its intended effect if both you and Floyd said that it feels out of place, but that was the idea, anyway :-) Thanks so much for listening and for your comments!!!

Hi James,

Your song is very emotional and it was a good choice to have spoken lyrics in it. I remember you did it before in that christmassong and that also turns out very nice. The song kept my attention till the end. That's a good thing, because it is a very long song!

But the pauses you take between some words are sometimes too long (to me). This was also the case in your former song I mentioned. There you fixed it properly. Maybe you can speak out the word more stretched to createa bridge between those words and make it feel there is no gap in between?

I also agree with Robert and Floyd that the solo is not really fitting in the song. The leadguitar did a nice job, but the song needs something slower. And I understand you need something 'dramatic' in your song as a bridge, but that could also be a build-up with a long high 'swipe' (is this the right word?).
All together it is a very nice performed song.
And now I'm curious what 'wild' song you have in mind for your next post ;-)

Hans

Nice concept and delivery. I agree with some of the other comments to reconsider the instrumental; maybe a clean gtr, or other instrument without distortion.

Thanks for sharing.

James

Well, James, you have the perfect voice for the spoken-word ballad. This one is very special. Although the music is good, the words are really what matters here. Well delivered, man.

Thanks everyone. I will have another look at the instrumental! I've written three songs recently, so I think I'll be "on a break" again for a while, before I write something new once more :-) - but thanks for listening!!! :-)

P.S. just altered the voice track a little, to make it clearer ... I will deal with the instrumental later - see what you think if you have time? :-)