https://soundcloud.com/user-770148857/demise



I've had some hesitation about posting this because it's kinda weird, but here goes...

I did it with loops. Half of them came from BIAB, half came from Big Fish. I did the singing, which I don't normally do for good reason.

Lyrics:

And when the end is near
All my movements cease
Tell me that you still care,
My demise you'll ease

When all the sanguine's gone
From my withered veins
Tell me that you'll be near
Take the needed pains

And don't try to follow me
To the place I go
I'll be among the worms
Not a pretty show


Just say that you love me etc.

I've had a marvelous exit
Time now to pay the cost,
You've been a boon companion
No fret of loss

Wish it would go much quicker
I'm so averse to pain
All of the revelrie's left
Such a filthy stain

And if there's a world awaiting
Some reward I don't deserve,
Keep a bit of love for me
In good preserve

Just say that you love me etc.

Good backing, good melody, interesting lyrics, (occasionally stilted), and a decent vocal though that needs a little de-essing given how close and intimate it is.

Track sounds good, nice use of the loops.

Good writing about a difficult subject. I thought your vocal was fine too, you should sing more often.

TuneMonger,

I enjoyed this. I think you have a good song here and your vocal fit it well.

Very nice job on this - great use of loops and a cool saturated mix.

Bob

I've had a marvelous exit
Time now to pay the cost,

Really like the song, TuneMonger. No one can sing this as well as you do.

Fantastic song. Beautifully arranged and well mixed. Enjoyed it a lot

"And if there's a world awaiting
Some reward I don't deserve,
Keep a bit of love for me
In good preserve"

Nice.

Cool loops + BIAB stuff.

I agree with Dave - you should sing more often. The vocal is pretty "boom-y" on my speakers - very bottom heavy. I'm guessing that is from proximity effect with the mic. You might try singing farther away from it (or at an angle to it), in which case you may need to turn it up a bit. And you could try rolling off the low-end EQ.

fj

I deleted this song, the link no longer works. I just don't really like the song anymore and don't think it's worth anyone's time to review. Thanks to those who did, I appreciate it and am working on improving my mixing based on the comments I received. Always happy to receive constructive criticism! I wish the forum allowed the OP to delete a thread/song, I am used to having that on forums. I just put up a new song "Be Sure to Stay" it should be on the first page or so. Thanks again to all, Bob

Hmmm- deleted to be revamped?
I see I`m late. Consider this bump a nudge to try this one again!

Robert

Link is not working right now? Take care. Greg

Looking forward to the re-do!