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Posted By: Don Gaynor THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/05/11 11:19 PM


"Tenjooberrymuds" will make sense after you read the following.

I was recently in Miami and decided to learn the Spanish language, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds.

My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person
that answers the phone when I have a warranty or computer related problem.

Yep, by the time I read this, I was able to understand the the subject line.

"TENJOOBERRYMUDS"...


In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land...or any English
speaking country), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by
reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term

"TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in and understand.

Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel
guest and room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today.......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees....morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I.... Don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...

Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we
bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say.."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"


Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".......and you do, don't you!
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 12:03 AM
I had the privilege of working in a manufacturing plant in the deep South with a delightful Afghan man named Mohammed who would sometimes come to me with questions about the English language.

One day he asked me about something that other men would often say. To him it sounded like "ah goo" or "ah gun." He repeated it many times with subtle changes in pronunciation, but I still didn't recognize it. Then I asked when they said it. At the end of the day, was his reply.

"Oh," I said. "They're saying 'have a good one.'" "'Av a good wun," he replied. "'Av a good what?" Short for "have a good day," I said. He practiced saying it over and over, but in the end it came back to--"ah gun." That really is what they were saying.

I told him that the worse he said it, the better he said it, and that we'd make an American out of him yet. He kinda liked that.
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 01:03 AM
when we compound the language with colloquial terms, slang, and our regional dialects, our very difficult language becomes virtually impossible to learn. example: try to define "yonder" to a foreign student when it's so vague to the user. another example: nahn means nine and seeks means six in oklahoman. i could go on...
Posted By: Sundance Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 01:12 AM
The one that gets me is from Americans making up a new word for talking...

i.e. - we were "conversating".
Posted By: Notes Norton Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 02:03 PM
Many years ago, when I was between bands, I took up a bit of taxi cab driving in Fort Lauderdale, Florida (USA). It was easy, you simply rent the cab for the day, and get to keep any profits after the cab rent/mileage/gas fee. It didn't make a lot of money, but it was a day-by-day gig, so as soon as we got the new band together with about 40 songs for gigging, I could just not show up in the morning for a cab rent.

One day I was sitting on Las Olas Boulevard when a tourist (I suspect German) came up to me and said "Alawennis" (like AL - a - WHEN - iss, but one word). I couldn't for the life of me figure out where he wanted to go. He simply repeated it louder and louder, alawennis.

I got out the road map and placed it between us and had him help me find it. After a bit he pointed to one of the isles in the "Venice Of America" section of Ft. L called "The Isle Of Venice". So I questioned him, "Do you want to go to the Isle Of Venice?" and he enthusiastically replied, "Yes, yes, allawennis, allawennis!"

Problem solved. I enjoyed our encounter very much and was happy to help the old gentleman out.

Also in the same job, I got a call to pick up some people at a residence and take them to the Miami International Airport. A very good fare from Fort Lauderdale. I was also informed that the people speak no English but only Spanish. There are people in the office who speak Spanish, but at the time I only spoke some baby talk Spanish -- not enough to converse with anyone.

So I get to the house, we load all their luggage, and they tell me, "Miami airport, International (Eenternational), Pan Am". I repeat, "Si, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am".

It's a half hour to 45 minute drive, and they are speaking Spanish among themselves, and every now and then, direct their voice to me and say "Miami airport, eenternational, Pan Am" and I would try to reassure them, "Si, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am"

Since we couldn't speak to one another, they were understandably a little concerned about whether I knew where to take them or not. After all, they had a flight to catch.

At the time, as soon as you get from one of the cross-town expressways that take you to the airport, the hangar for the now defunct National Airlines was right in front of the road with a gigantic sign on the roof, "NATIONAL AIRLINES", at this time, in a very worried voice, one of my passengers said, "Miami Airport EEEEEEEEnternational", and I repeated, "Se, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am"

When I dropped them off at the Pan Am gate, and they spoke some Spanish to the Sky Cap they were obviously relieved, and grateful to me for taking them to the right place. With tons of "Thank You" and "Muchas Gracias" they paid the fair and gave me a nice tip.

I don't mind them butchering our difficult language, but try my best to communicate with them. I've been to a few foreign countries where I don't know the language, and use a phrase book to butcher their language, and people have always been as kind to me as I try to be to our own tourists and immigrants.

Back in the 80s, I worked on a cruise ship that docked in Cozumel Mexico once a week. I would take the ferry boat to Playa Del Carmen on the mainland. This was before it was developed, with only one, small two story hotel in the hamlet. One day I walked in the lobby and asked the desk clerk the way to the bathroom, "¿Donde esta el bano?". She proceeded to give me directions in Spanish which I did not understand at all. She obviously saw the confused look on my face because she immediately repeated in English, "Go across the lobby, out the door, over the bridge across the pond and turn right" (or something like that, it was a long time ago). I gave her a big smile and a "Muchas Gracias" and went to answer nature's call.

I remember my grandparents. They spoke very broken English, and my grandmother never learned to read or write in English, although she was fluent in Italian.

As an adult, I'm trying to learn some Spanish, and as an adult, trying to learn a second language, I can appreciate just how difficult it is.

Tenjooberrymuds

Notes
Posted By: jford Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 02:33 PM
I remember one time at a US Army Guest House where the maid came by one morning and asked, "Joo wan towers?" I said I don't understand. She said, a little louder, "Joo wan towers". I still didn't understand. I got the "Joo wan" (do you want), but couldn't for the life of me figure out "towers". So finally, I just said, "no thank you!". She looked shocked and replied, "Whaa, joo no take no chowers", at which point the light went on and I said, "yes, I would like some new towels".

English pronunciation is always an adventure.
Posted By: Matt Finley Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 03:14 PM
A local restaurant owner was putting the final touches on the signboard for the day's specials. The sign started, "To day Special".

Owner: "You college?", pointing across the street.

Me: "Yes."

"You teach?"

"I'm the dean."

"This good?", pointing to the sign.

Now, I had a choice either to fix the English, which would have been inauthentic for that type of restaurant, or leave it alone. I said, "It fine, look good.".
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 03:56 PM
matt, my amigo, you are a national treasure!
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 04:17 PM
it's interesting how we english-speaking folks can take a totally unrelated noun, apply it to the subject, and be perfectly understood. case-in-point: we had a green (interesting application of that word) technician from fiji who overheard the shop foreman using expletives in describing a difficult repair. he said: "this blankety blank, mickey mouse tv!" at which point the fijian walked around to the front to confirm the brand name as he had never seen a "mickey mouse" television set before.
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 04:33 PM
Quote:

A local restaurant owner was putting the final touches on the signboard for the day's specials. The sign started, "To day Special".

Owner: "You college?", pointing across the street.

Me: "Yes."

"You teach?"

"I'm the dean."

"This good?", pointing to the sign.

Now, I had a choice either to fix the English, which would have been inauthentic for that type of restaurant, or leave it alone. I said, "It fine, look good.".




I have a cardinal rule of not doing business with someone who can't spell what they do. I make an exception for foreigners if they are minimally understandable.

I encourage anyone interested in the English language to read "The Story of English"--especially the chapter on evolving "Englishes" around the world.
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 04:49 PM
Bob Norton's experience reminds me that I too drove a taxi in Atlanta for several years. I worked for a small, family-owned company that catered to the upper crust of Atlanta society. It was really the next thing to a limo service. I made half of my earnings on airport runs.

Because of this, or for whatever reason, many drivers disdained picking local fares, many of whom were Hispanic. I come from a pretty humble background and didn't really see how I could refuse any business, especially when it was slow. Other drivers would go home or sleep in their car until radio traffic picked up.

Not me. I put a Spanish dictionary on the dash and worked on vocabulary a word at a time. My grammar sucked, but I could understand and be understood in the limited context of a local fare. Say a street name and give me the number and I'll get you there. Everybody understands the number on the dash.

I made an interesting discovery. Even those who said "no" when asked directly if they spoke English began to develop an amazing vocabulary when I showed the effort I was putting into their language. And they tipped surprisingly well for people whom everyone assumed were broke.

The numbers were pretty good, too. I averaged about $35 an hour on a good day. During the times when there were no radio calls, three local fares an hour, even at the zone minimum of $8 point-to-point with any kind of tip, averaged out to $25 an hour or better. This when no other drivers were moving.

Muchas gracias, amigos. Hasta la vista. (And I did.)
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 05:28 PM
we quickly adopt foreign language words and phrases (amigo, amiga, dunke, ad infinitum (pun intended)) into our native english making it that much more difficult to learn. in fact, it is difficult to find a word in english that is not traceable to another root language. german is not immune...german visitors to italy had never seen a transom, the hinged vent above a doorway so they would point and ask: "vos ist das?" (what is that?) so, to this day, the transom in germany is called a vos ist das
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 05:54 PM
The word for "gadget" in Polish, pronounced "vee hi ster," comes from the German "wie heisst der?" which means "what is that called?"

We ALL borrow, except the French, who do what we technically refer to as "mucking up the curve."
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 05:57 PM
have you ever noticed that when we don't understand a spoken phrase the speaker will, rather than re-phrase it, just raise the volume? have you ever noticed...HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED...
Posted By: Mac Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 10:03 PM
Have a friend who cannot see who is always miffed when he tells 'em he is blind -- and they reply with raised voice, as if that will help...



--Mac
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/06/11 10:46 PM
mac, as ridiculous as human nature is (nature is a mutha), imagine this: i'm mute and in a power wheelchair with a dynavox speech synthesis device mounted in front of me and well-wishers will start shouting at me as if that will help me communicate better.
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 01:15 AM
here's a link to my favorite collection of nearly English words

http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word_e_to_h.html


man walks into a store.
The clerk asks "Melpew?"
Man replies "Najess lukken"
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 01:43 AM
the English as she is spoken
http://www.chiangmai-chiangrai.com/english_spoken.html

chinglish signs
http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/im...chinglish+signs

http://www.engrish.com/
This is a very funny topic. But it's not only non-English speakers that have problems, it can be difficult even from an English speaking country.
Having spent quite a bit of time in both the UK & the US, I came unstuck a few times with fairly simple expressions. On my first visit to the US we were ordering our meal, and I ordered an entree. Here in Oz, an entree is your first course - you call them starters - followed by a main course. Subsequently I ate a lot of food!!

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.

No offence intended here:
An American tourist was visiting London England, and checked into his hotel. He said to the clerk "Which way to the elevators?"
The typically British clerk said politely " Sir, the LIFTS are down the hall and to your left"
The American replied "Lifts? they're not lifts, they're elevators. Heck we should know, we Americans invented the elevator"
Again politely the clerk responded "Yes sir, I believe you did. But we English invented the language."
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 06:39 AM
Quote:

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.




A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 10:18 AM
Quote:

Quote:

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.




A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?




Nope. in American English "bum" and "fanny" mean the same thing... but apparently in Oz and Newsy Land the fanny is, um... "in front". Must be one of those southern hemisphere things. They have summer when we're having winter, and the water goes a different direction when you flush the toilet, so it makes sense the southern hemisphere fanny would be opposite the northen hemisphere fanny.

Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 10:24 AM
When I first moved from Pennsylvania to North Carolina, I had a real adjustment to make in understanding the southern way of speaking.

At a burger joint, I had bought a drink, and the girl behind the counter said something that sounded like "Onna Leah?"

I immediately thought of Puff the magic dragon (who lived in a land called Honna Lee) and wondered why in the world this girl was referring to that song while I was buying fast food. (maybe she was warning me that the burger was made from lizards?? funny how the mind works...)

Turns out, she was saying "want a lid?" (for the drink)
I got very embarrased in Nashville once. In Oz you order a coffee "white"(with milk) or "black" no milk.
We went into a restaurant (Shoney's??) and I ordered two white coffees for my wife & myself. The African/American waitress glared at me, gave me a dirty look and said "You mean two coffees with cream"

Very embarrased, I apologised, explained, and after hearing my accent I think she understood it was an innocent faux paux.

I was very careful after that.
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 10:56 AM
when we first moved south, my son was in first grade. One day he brought home a totally failed test paper which I was supposed to sign. The test was on syllables... the teacher would say a word, and the kids would write down how many syllables were in the word. The words were the months of the year, and He got most of them wrong by one syllable.

See where this is going? (the TEACHER was dictating the words)

JAY un you ware ee (5 instead of 4)
FAY a broo air ee (5 instead of 4)
Sep TAY um burr (4 instead of 3)
No VAY um burr (4 instead of 3)
Dee SAY um burr (etc etc etc)
Posted By: John Conley Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 11:04 AM
In French Canadian we call a thing ma-jig a patent. Said pah-tant. I went on a mission to figure out why and was told...

It's printed on everything right? Sometimes with the word pending after it. Veddy nice.
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.




A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?




Nope. in American English "bum" and "fanny" mean the same thing... but apparently in Oz and Newsy Land the fanny is, um... "in front". Must be one of those southern hemisphere things. They have summer when we're having winter, and the water goes a different direction when you flush the toilet, so it makes sense the southern hemisphere fanny would be opposite the northen hemisphere fanny.





Right on, Pat.
Although Kiwis & Aussies do speak a slightly different language.
Posted By: Notes Norton Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 01:50 PM
When I was in elementary school, the principal's name was Fanny Catlett -- with both Fanny and Cat she would get a lot of teasing about her name in the UK and OZ.

When visiting the UK someone directed me to what sounded like "Lester Square" which turned out to be "Leicester Square". Now how they got Lester our of Leicester is beyond me, but when in London, do as the Londoners do. So I proceeded to pronounce Leicester as Lester.

BTW, I enjoyed my visit to the UK, Wales, and Scotland. They people were very kind to me and made me feel like a welcome guest. I put 3,000 miles on the rental car, and met people from all over. Even with the differences in language, I understood most of it, until we got to a very small roadhouse in a very small town in Scotland. I sat next to a guy who called himself Bob, and we had a great time even though I hardly understood a word he said. Smiles and buying a round of drinks seems like a pretty good way to spread goodwill.

Notes
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 02:17 PM
ho boy, ho boy! opening this topic up to international versions of the english language gives me a ho nudder crop to harvest, thanks, keith!

a brit bloke (mate/buddy) on another forum that i frequent said, when visiting the uk, to order "fags and mashies." in the u.s. that would get one a serious contusion.

incidentally, in the u s of eh (a conleyism), "mate" has the connotation of a lifetime companion, while in oz, it's a more casual acquaintance equivalent to our word "buddy."

don't make me dig out my "encyclopedia of oz slang," i get a groin pull every time i lift it!
Posted By: Mac Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 02:22 PM
Quote:

... and the water goes a different direction when you flush the toilet, ...





Actually, the direction that water spins when going down a drain is up to chance. It can take either clockwise or counterclockwise direction, independent of whether or not you happen to be in the Northern or Southern Hemisphere.

http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/coriolis.html


--Mac
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 02:42 PM
i knew that...y'bloody bloke, know-it-all!

keith, how's my oz-speak?

mac, my dear friend, holster yer hardware! i'm just pushing yer leg!
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 03:06 PM
bob (notes), i have a gift from a fellow forum regular called "spikin doric" the language of northern scotland. it's in encyclopedic style and 100% guaranteed to soil your kilts. i'll be very happy to loan it to you. just pm me with your mailing address and return it when you're done.
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 03:55 PM
i have often wondered how many syllables in Worcestershire, fahv or nahn? oh, i'm having fun now! this has to be illegal, immoral, or fattening! i dearly love languages.
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 04:24 PM
this is legitimate uk english phrase, a heartfelt "way t'go!" to anyone who can translate it correctly into u s of eh english or urdu. mac, sorry but you are disqualified because you were a party to the original exchange with our mutual brit mate, "limey!"

"sparf the grunion with a #10 spanner."

let's have a bit'o fun with it then mac can translate it fer y'all uns.

btw, any of y'alls know a memory key for the proper use of the homonyms "then" and "than"? i am continually mis-using them. matt?
Posted By: Flatfoot Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 04:29 PM
>>>...The word for "gadget" in Polish, pronounced "vee hi ster," comes from the German "wie heisst der?" which means "what is that called?"...>>>

And in America we say "Whatchamcallit." (What-you-may-call-it.)
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 04:37 PM
Quote:

"sparf the grunion with a #10 spanner."




If that doesn't violate the TOS, I'm sure the translation will!
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 05:34 PM
gotta love the mods, they truly have a sense of humor albeit canadian humo(u)r. i think dr gannon would gladly write a rx (script) for megadoses of humour, it's probably keeping at least one tired ole irishman aloive! btw, it's much cheaper from canadian pharmacies if paid in loonies. thanks, moderators, eh! peter's sig says "have fun!" so i'm just obeying doctor's orders.
Quote:

i knew that...y'bloody bloke, know-it-all!

keith, how's my oz-speak?

mac, my dear friend, holster yer hardware! i'm just pushing yer leg!




Well done, Don.
Consider yourself an honourary Aussie... mate!
Posted By: Curmudgeon Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/07/11 11:07 PM
Back in 1985, I was in Guatemala studying Spanish. I boarded with a host family who fed me very well, 5 days a week.

On Saturday, I went to a local restaurant for breakfast. Unfortunately I couldn't figure out the menu. Everything looked like side dishes. The staff had a high time at my expense, while I struggled with 3 breakfasts.

Don S.
Posted By: Lawrie Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/08/11 03:36 AM
Quote:

Quote:

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.




A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?



The object is, but the anatomical feature is not...
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.




A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?



The object is, but the anatomical feature is not...



Cue schoolboy muffled giggles from the Aussies.........
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/08/11 08:04 PM
An American was touring Wales, and upon entering a hotel in one town, noticed the words, “tam htab” written on the mat.

“Ah!” he said, “I suppose that’s Welsh for Welcome.”

“No, sir,” replied the doorman. “That’s the bath mat upside down.”
Posted By: CeeBee Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/09/11 07:53 AM
See if you can spot the english in this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQt-h753jHI
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/09/11 12:58 PM
while in germany, there was one particular club band that played and sang u s of eh and brit r&r so well that i thought they were yanks or brits so, during a break, i had the waitress invite them to our table only to learn that they couldn't speak a word of english. they had mastered the lyrics phonetically!
Posted By: Mick Emery Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/09/11 02:52 PM
I wasn't going to post this...but every time I think of it, it still makes me chuckle after 40+ years.

Being on the road for many years, one of our favorite things to do after a gig, was to go eat Chinese. We had favorite restaurants in every city. In Chicago, at one of our favorites, we always had (for over a year) the same elderly Chinese waiter. He would always, almost forcefully, suggest "Takasuni" (pronounced Tah-Kah Sunny). We had never seen it on any menu in any Chinese restaurant we had ever been to, and we had considered ourselves "experts" in Chinese dining. We were afraid. however, to be this adventurous. (Who knows what could be in it???) One night we finally decided to go whole hog. We all burst into laughter when he arrived with our chocolate sundae!!!!
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/09/11 06:09 PM
hahahaha

"Takasuni" is hilarious! I'm glad you decided to post it! (why would you NOT?)
And "Ken Lee" is equally side-splitting!

In fact ALL of these stories are great.

I don't see them as stories that make fun of anyone.. I see them as examples of a very common theme in the human experience: the challenge of expressing ourselves in a way that the audience clearly understands.

I hope this thread continues for a long time. Thanks to Don Gaynor for starting it.
Posted By: Don Gaynor another - 10/09/11 07:23 PM
Quote:

The one that gets me is from Americans making up a new word for talking...

i.e. - we were "conversating".




josie, another similar thing that curls my armpit hair is the "verbifying" of nouns and pronouns...to wit: googling; skyping; texting; youtubing; ad infinitum.
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/09/11 07:51 PM
Quote:

Quote:

i knew that...y'bloody bloke, know-it-all!

keith, how's my oz-speak?

mac, my dear friend, holster yer hardware! i'm just pushing yer leg!




Well done, Don.
Consider yourself an honourary Aussie... mate!




keith, my dear oz pal/buddy/bloke/amigo/amico/ami/mate, i may be presumptuous but, you mis-spelled "CORNsider!"
Posted By: Ryszard Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/10/11 05:49 AM
Wha' abou' sparfin' the grunion?
Posted By: CeeBee Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/10/11 07:45 AM
Well the grunion is a fish, but why anyone would want to sparf it with a #10 spanner, is beyond me. Batter it and fry it ok but sparf it, it's obscene.
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/11/11 02:42 PM
i was thinkin' - yes, irishmen do think on occasion in spite of what you may have heard to the contrary - how about recycling words that have fallen into dis-use(izata word?). i'll kick it off and y'all uns can come in on bar 17 (keeping this thread "music-related):

WORDS THAT CAN BE RECYCLED

spats: the white canvas covers that men wore on their shoes. (way kewl)
fob: i.e. watch fob. a sort of lanyard attached to a pocket watch (qv)
milk bottle: a glass container (qv) that milk and other beverages came in. recycling meant simply washing the bottles before refilling them.
ice cream: a frozen dessert made from fresh dairy cream. since replaced by frozen gar gum and artificial flavo(u)rs.

i'm certain that you clever folks can add many more. and, by the way, don't forget to "wind" (qv) your watch.
don't forget to defrost (qv) the refrigerator.
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/11/11 08:11 PM
Don
normally I like word challenges... but I'm not sure where you're going with this.
What do you mean "words that can be recycled"?

I don't get the connection between your examples and recycling
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/11/11 09:27 PM
pat, i'm thinking "expendable" but i had my tongue firmly planted in cheek. don't take it too seriously however, i recently renewed my poetic license with a murdercycle endorsement. as dr. gannon would say: "have fun, eh!"
Hi guys,

I'll dare to participate in this thread, so here are my 2 cents:

When you come to Spain and want to tell anyone you're going to have dinner, just say:

BOY AS N R

...it sounds like "Voy a cenar" in spanish (as an american would say it, of course

If you liked that here you have some more...

http://www.isma.ws/textos/?id=5&x=alf

cheers
Quote:

Hi guys,

...it sounds like "Voy a cenar" in spanish (as an american would say it, of course






In fact it's more like most south-americans or mexicans would say it, as in Spain we pronounce "c" with our tongue between our teeth, and not as an "s"
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/12/11 02:00 PM
alberto, a sincere welcome to these forums and to this thread in particular. it's wonderful to examine our english language from a spanish-speaking perspective.i am certain that you find a lot of humo(u)r in our slaughter (murder) of our native tongue as, i am sure, that we see/hear in the spanish language. i have a wonderful nurse's aide, tracy, "from the mexican tribe" (her words) who is trying to teach me mexican spanish. i am a terrible student but we have a lot of fun.

incidentally, the hostess in a mexican restaurant asked if i wanted some "free hollies and nachos" and i said: "si, anything for free!" i ate five "free" servings. those darned mexicans had the audacity to charge me for them!

we offered a 10% senior discount where i worked when a young mexican gentleman came in and demanded his discount by explaining that he was a "senor." he got it!

"TENJOOBERRYMUDS".
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/12/11 02:38 PM
On a highway construction project, in which the road had been torn up for years, someone put up a handmade sign reading:

“Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark.”
Posted By: Skyline Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/12/11 08:25 PM
Quote:

i have often wondered how many syllables in Worcestershire, fahv or nahn? oh, i'm having fun now! this has to be illegal, immoral, or fattening! i dearly love languages.




Don, only three actually: 'Wus-stuh-sher'.


John
Posted By: Skyline Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/12/11 08:34 PM
I love the Oz language of Strine.

A famous author was supposedly signing books for his adoring public at a book shop event. He asked the next lady in the queue who she would like her copy dedicated to. She replied: 'Emma Chizzit'. So he wrote in the inside cover of the next book: 'Best wishes to Emma Chizzit'. She wasn't at all impressed and instead shouted at him:
'Nah! Emma Chizzitt?'

John
During WW2 an American pilot was shot down, and taken to an Australian hospital in pretty bad condition.
After waking from a coma, he surveyed his injuries and said to the nurse "Was I brought here to die?"
The Australian nurse replied "No..... you were brought here yester-die"
Posted By: Don Gaynor Re: THE NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE - HOW TRUE - 10/14/11 12:32 AM
good on'ya keith! i studied oz-speak by watching steve erwin the "crocodile hunter," on tvoy, by crackie!
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