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Posted By: mglinert If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/09/11 02:59 PM
Yes, sorry for the overrun, but this one is a bit of a live 'anthem'.
I needed a hard rocking song both for my album and for my band to play live. Here is the result... You should be able to spot the influences easily enough.

I used PG Music's Band-in-a-Box in the composition stage, and then PTPA 11 to record and mix the tracks.
There are no Real Tracks, everything is played.

Thanks for listening and for any comments,

Marc
Posted By: rsdean Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/09/11 03:44 PM
Marc, I like this one a lot - has a real Talking Heads feel. Great job!

Bob
Posted By: Ian Fraser Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/09/11 06:01 PM
Kudos Marc to the real players! Nice and tight.
First of all "knuckle rap" for no lyrics . "Listen carefully" does not quite work for me.
And this leads to my first suggestion - while I appreciate the high vocal volume (I could catch some of the lyrics), I think maybe the voice needs to be pulled down somewhat IMHO - but you need to hear from good ears about this.

Maybe an alternative ending - after the second chorus repetition at the end, conclude with a heavy clipped band shots on each of "hard" and "way" and let the reverb tail off about 4 min. Save the extra seconds for live. Basically I liked the way you worked the closing . . . except for the length (for which you already apologized )

Should work well live. Do you have a front man who can lead the audience with some enthusiastic handclapping?

Cheers - Ian
Posted By: tributeman Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/09/11 06:33 PM
Hi Marc,Couple of things.Im only hearing your vocal in one speaker and found the backing to be a bit low in comparison.This really showed more when the vocals suddenly appeared in stereo.For me it lacked drive but Im sure its a song that would benefit from a real pumped up belting out remix.Cheers Frankie
Posted By: Sundance Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/09/11 07:44 PM
Liked the lyrics Mark - the vox coming out of one side was a little strange. Sounded good to me and I agree this probably goes over great live. I did want the lead singer to scream out and hold the yeah a little more like he really means it at the end. Overall well done - good rock song.
Posted By: RobbMiller Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 02:15 AM
I think I note a little "Cars" in there. Loved that stuff growing up. I also liked how organic the guitars in the break were. What RealTracks were used?
Posted By: Shockwave199 Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 04:12 AM
If an anthem is what you're going for, you nailed it. I can imagine the crowd simply eating this one up. Your band has a winner with this one, I believe. The biab track for album purposes could use some fine tuning with the mix and master I think. It's not that the vocal is only coming out of the right speaker. It's that you doubled it and the one panned to the right is a good deal louder than the opposite side. Or maybe you used a plugin effect for a room ambiance thing. Whatever, the verse vocal comes off as hard panned right. Astetic? Perhaps, but it's distracting in a not so good way. I think you should consider writing more verses too. You have two great hook parts going, but I think another verse or two would offer more meat. Even a repetative hooky anthem needs some substance beyond hooks. If you could get a crowd singing the hook for the recording- that would be great as well. Record a live performance and get the crowd singing. Then add it to the track. But you have the main ingredients- all the makings of a foot stomping, arm waving, beer glass thrusting song. Good luck with it!

Dan
Posted By: mglinert Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 10:27 AM
As ever, I’m really grateful for these comments and touched that so many of you have taken time to listen so carefully and report back in such detail.

Ouch Ian for the knuckle rap.

For your eyes only then, here are the lyrics at present…

If the fire in your eyes
Is starting to go out
And your certainty of mind
Is giving way to doubt

If the demons in your past
Are getting out of hand
If your plane is out of fuel
And its got nowhere to land

Then come on - you’d better start today
Come on - this ain’t no cabaret,
Come on - we’re here to show the way - come on

Come on and rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way
Why don’t you rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way

If the passion in your heart
Is starting to decline
And the pattern of your life
Could use some redesign

If you’re tryin' do some good
when all around is bad
Or tryin to have some fun
..but there’s no fun to be had

Then come on - you’d better start today
Come on - (Ha!) this ain’t no cabaret,
Come on - we’re here to show the way - come on

Come on and rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way
Why don’t you rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way

Come on - you’d better start today
Come on - (Ha!) this ain’t no cabaret,
Come on - we’re here to show the way - come on

Come on and rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way
Why don’t you rock it the hard way
We’re gonna rock it the hard way

+ Chorus Repeats

I won't insult you all by listing the chords (all 4 of them!!)

A general point (as Ian knows) is that this demo was somewhat rushed out so that my band has something to work on for the upcoming round #2 of Emergenza. Which explains – but does not excuse – the various mixing glitches you have all spotted.

Turning to the points your raised – the Heads, the Cars – this is starting to read like a list of my 10 all time favourite bands! Thanks Bob and Rob for the compliments.

OK Ian will maybe bring the vox down a touch– particularly in the build + chorus sections. Thanks for the ending suggestion – still not really sure what to do on that front. The present ending is, in pure rock and roll tradition, an absolute accident. That’s how I stopped playing the rthm gtr tracks so I just got rid of everything else and left it at that!

er, I guess the lead man here would be me so I may have to leap out from behind my synth for a while after the solo.

Thanks Frankie, Josie – I agree. Remember this is only the writer’s demo. I’d also like to hear a bona fide rock vocalist having a go at this, and preferably 12 semi tones up from where I am here.

No real tracks at all Robb - just me really playing the instruments then really selecting patches from my Juno-D.

Thanks Dan - you’re quite right about the vox track. There’s a left track somewhere which must have got muted!
I could add in some more verses (I wrote loads before settling on the version above), but this may make the piece rather too long, even if I cut the solo gtr from 16 to 8.?
For the ‘more substance’ comment, I also have a kind of counter melody thing in the choruses which I have not put in yet. Maybe I will do for the repetitions at the end.

Thanks again to one and all,

Marc
Posted By: Noel96 Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 11:32 AM
Hi Marc,

You really have a great knack for inventing some incredibly creative musical works. This one is no exception. There's nothing more that I can add to what others have said. I got to say that it was a well spent the 4'30". With a full blown rock band, this song would soar!

All the best,
Noel
Posted By: tributeman Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 12:02 PM
excellent lyric Marc...lyrics is my bugbear so I really appreciate looking at lyrics as good as this. Frankie
Posted By: Skyline Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 12:05 PM
I like the song Marc, this is a good one!
The only adjustments I'd make have been touched on already: Lead vox on the right only, lead vox overpowering the backing in the chorus, etc.
Plus, I couldn't hear any bass at all? Is there any? A straight-ahead rocker like this needs a big bottom, and that includes the kick drum, which I also couldn't detect. The mix should be big and 'galumphing' - heavily biased to drums and bass, with the guitar riffs next, and the vocal sort of struggling to be heard, i.e. played live that's what would most likely be the mix that the band would end up playing and the audience grooving to. I'm sure it'll go down well at your gigs!

John
Posted By: mglinert Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/10/11 05:26 PM
Thanks Noel - we'll certainly try to get the song up to speed for the next round of the contest which is on 31/03.
John - that's exactly what I thought when re-listening to the track on headphones on my way in to work this morning. I'll definitely bring the bass up in the next version, and i think there is a way of filtering the kick drum sound and brining that up too.

All the best,

Marc
Posted By: mglinert Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/11/11 07:05 AM
New readers to this thread may be confused now as most of the above mentioned glitches have, I hope, been ironed out in this revised version


THanks again for the pointers

Marc
Posted By: Kemmrich Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/11/11 10:20 AM
Hello,

Sounds like it is going to be a rocking good tune. I listen to both versions. Just a few random random comments

1.) You did all that on the keyboard? Although it sounds midi, it still sounds good and should give the band everything they need to learn it and do it live.

2.) There are a few places where you seemed to run out of space for the words. Just a little phrasing work is needed. Examples: "Is giving way to doubt", "And its got nowhere to land" -- I guess the last line of every verse.

3.) What age group is the band? The word "cabaret" seems a little dated to me.

4.) Nice "guitar" lead break.

5.) The overall energy feel is still on the low side, make sure the band really drives it.

Good tune.

Kevin
Posted By: mglinert Re: If you have 4' 30 to spare... - 01/11/11 08:18 PM
Kevin - I'm glad to hear your illuminating comments, as usual. THanks.


OK I recorded everything on the keyboard apart from the 2 rthm gtr tracks which were played on my ancient strat copy (Vantage) through my Korg AX1G.


I'll have to look into that lyrics thing and work on those last lines. Mind you, playing to a predominantly non English speaking audience I'm not expecting many complaints.


Average age of band: 57 (younger if you can count our young sound tech but that would be cheating) But 'cabaret' stays. The French are really happy when they hear a word they know!

THanks for the lead gtr compliment. I won't spoil it by saying that I recorded it at 1/6 speed on the keyboard, one phrase at a time!


YOu're right - this demo, although pretty accurate is rather lifeless. I hope we'll be able to ramp it up a bit with the band.


Take care now,

Marc
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