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Posted By: DRiddle Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/30/11 09:59 PM
Hey Everyone,

It has been a long time since I posted a song.

This song was written by a friend of mine. All the instruments are from realtracks, alot of copying and pasting to get it the way I thought it would sound good.

Instruments used:
RealDrums-NashvilleEven8
518 Bass Electric
364 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking
368 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming
892 Piano, Acoustic
1543 Synth Pad
1542 Piano
1219 Vibes
and added a sound wav of wind chimes

I need some suggestions and any constructive ideas on the song, I always value your input.

Here is the link:
www.dannyriddle.com/music/TwoHeartsInLove-VOCAL.mp3

Thanks!
Danny
Hi Danny, what can I say, a very meaningful song, great mix and arrangement and a vocal thats right in your face. I enjoyed listening to this. Quite well done to these old ears

Cheers

Nels
Posted By: MarioD Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/30/11 11:49 PM
Absolutely one fantastic song! “Two hearts in love can stop the hands of time”, WOW what a great line!

Super mix, great lyrics and an outstanding vocal performance.

This is a keeper – two thumbs up.
Totally agree. Great lyrics, and performance! Like Mario said, this one's a keeper!

Steve
Posted By: Sundance Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/31/11 04:01 AM
Sweet song and kept me with you right through the whole story.

Well done.
Posted By: Rob Helms Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/31/11 05:14 AM
Danny that is a very nice song. The mix is clean, and clear. The vocals are just right in the mix. There are a few slightly flat notes in the vocal. Nothing glaring, only on the lowest notes, the high stuff is right on. I seem to get a few of those especially in a song where the vocal is so exposed as in this one, usually because it is very difficult to get the correct amount of air under a low note. I was particularly moved by the lyric, very tender. I believe as was said this is a keeper, and i could see this on the radio. The last chorus is especially stellar!

Very good song!
Posted By: dcuny Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/31/11 07:53 AM
You've done a great job with this. Handling the back and forth of the conversation is a bit tricky, but I can't think of better way to do it.

The only thing I'll suggest is that the chorus should be sung all the way through. The chorus is sung until you get to the lyric "But two hearts in love/can stop the hands of time", where you drop back to speaking, and then sing the rest of the chorus.

Really excellent work on the lyrics.
Posted By: Noel96 Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 10/31/11 02:14 PM
Hi Danny,

This composition is absolutely sensational. The melody, harmony, and your performance are a perfect fit for the lyrics. I heard these lyrics as a wonderfully sensitive treatment of dementia or Alzheimer's disease. They are incredibly well written. I agree with David in that I don't how the to and fro of conversation could be better treated. How it's been done is very effective.

You asked for some suggestions ...

One thing that I can think of that might help to make the hook pop out a little more is to use what poets call a spondee (a metrical foot that consists of two long syllables - like "Some-where" in "Somewhere Over The Rainbow")

To explain ...

Presently, the phrase "But two hearts in love" has the "But two" occurring on beat 4½ and "hearts" on beat 1 of the next bar. To my ears, the rushed singing of "But two" seemed to take a bit of juice out of the power of the phrase. What I'd try is to put "but" on beat 4½ and then spread the hook out over two bars. (Please see the diagram below that attempts to explain what I mean.) Having a pause after "love" will work fine because the phrase "Two hearts in love" does not sound complete and aches to be ended; the listener will wait and the payoff is all the more sweet because of the wait!



NOTE: I've tried to align the beats and half-beats with the appropriate syllable.

This will probably require adding an extra bar to the chorus. If that results in making the chorus an uneven number of bars, don't worry about it as that will help add to the emotional intensity of the song. (A great of example of how odd-bar sections can increase emotional intensity is The Beatles song, "Yesterday". The verse sections of this song are 7 bars long.)

Hope these thoughts provide a springboard for inspiration
Noel
Posted By: DRiddle Re: Song to Critique "Two Hearts In Love" - 11/01/11 11:56 PM
Hey Everyone,
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen to the song. I love playing around with the real tracks, there is so much that can be done with it! It took several weeks to get the tracks on the song to sound the way I thought they would sound ok, and I am glad that paid off.

Thanks david and noel for some great ideas and some inspiration to try somethings new with this one. I also value constructive ideas to help me along the way.

Thanks again!

"Two Hearts In Love Can STOP The Hands Of Time"

All my best
Danny
Very nice song! Thanks for sharing!


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