Make your way across the sawdust floor. Grab a bar stool. Order a beer.
You'll need it to cry in....

A bit ago, Tom posted a "cry in your beer song". Some of us love 'em.
It reminded me about a song I "had in the drawer" from quite some time ago.
There were a few things about it that I didn't like, so I had tossed it aside.
I pulled it out and did a little rewrite...

Then I asked Janice if she would join me on it.
Thankfully, she agreed... it was exactly what it needed.

A Great Big THANK YOU to Janice Merritt for singing with me on this!!!
(and one to Bud for sitting behind the console. And for helping me understand the dynamics of a recorded acoustic bass.
It was essential to getting the mix to work).

Hope you enjoy it. Comments encouraged...


WRITTEN

i'm all messed up
my world's been shattered
when you found a new life
mine was torn in two
i can't use a heart
so broken and battered
so you keep the pieces
they all still belong to you

(chorus)
your name is written
on my very soul
marked so deeply
and it may never let go
there's a picture of you
on the tiniest part
your name is written
on every piece of my broken heart

repeat chorus

your name is written
on every piece of my broken heart



Here are the RealTracks:
RealTracks in song: ~1121:Bass, Acoustic, CountryWaltz Sw 085
RealTracks in song: ~1126:Pedal Steel, Rhythm CountryWaltz Sw 085
RealTracks in song: ~2053:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking CountryWaltzBrent Sw 085
RealTracks in song: ~822:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Country Waltz Sw 085
RealTracks in song: 1883:Piano, Acoustic, Soloist Country12-8John Sw 065
RealDrums in style: NashClassicWaltzSw^1-a:SideStick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat

Have at it.

floyd

Great work as usual Floyd and Janice. The vocals are superb. The simplicity of the lyrics is a wonderful lesson in song writing. Well done!

Hey floyd,

In all honesty, I don't think music gets any better than what you, Janice and Bud have put together here. This is beautiful; a sensitive and emotion-packed journey through the turmoil of heartbreak. Your composition is outstanding and Janice's and your performances sparkle with sincerity. I'm not fully sure what Bud has done but the mix makes the song shine brilliantly!

The last two phrases of the chorus are incredibly powerful and perfectly placed to maximise the feeling of grief and loss that your lead character is experiencing. Also, the repetition of the chorus without any more verse-based development is a masterstroke. My observation, from studying many lyrics, is that repetition pretty much always adds dynamite to words when they are already a tinderbox of emotions. That's definitely the case here!

I absolutely love your beginning without an introduction. It's incredibly effective. I once went to a seminar with Grammy award winning producer Stephen Webber (a professor at Berklee College) who said that one of the most powerful ways that any singer can begin a song is to launch straight into it without any form of introduction, musical or spoken, that preempts what the song is about. I agree with him. Elvis Presley did it with a number of his most successful works. The one that springs to mind as I write is (link below) ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Ond-OwgU8

Dolly Parton also showed how effective this arranging/performance technique can be in (link below) ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMQWYxPsGqw

What's today's lesson for me? Hmm ... there are a number of them. I think the lesson that sits at the top list is that when one drops the tempo way back, it's not necessary to use all that many words to create a superb song. The catch with this, though, is that it's a double-edged sword. Because so few words are used in the lyrics, the spotlight is on every word and each one has to function to perfection.

Absolutely wonderful stuff!

All the best,
Noel

Cool tune and good job. I like the writing job that was done on this.

This is reminiscent of the Jones/Wynette ... Twitty/Lynn duets from the golden age of real country music.

Harmonies are dead on sweet, the style is spot on 60's broken heart country.... it could have easily been a top 10 hit for any of the big stars of that bygone era.

Loved the "tinkling" sound of the piano in the break

The meter in the chorus stuck out a bit to me.... where the words kinda rush when everything else before that is much slower and measured....on every piece of my broken heart... I might would have simply stated "on my broken heart" since that would keep the meter the same. Of course, that's simply MHO....

Nice work.

floyd, Bud and Janice, Now that's what I'm talking about. floyd, well sung and a nice concise write. The piano works well. Bud great job on the mix, everything sits where it

should. And Janice, you have the golden pipes. I can only say that your voice has an effect on me that few others have. I think your vocals are outstanding. OK guys I will

have to pick up a twelver on the way home and crack a cold one for another listen. Tom

Hi Floyd and Janice,

Great work as usual.
Wonderful vocals and a tasteful use of RTs.

Guenter

It's a beautiful track. Love the tinkling piano too. Voices are great together.

The main thing that I might change is the rushed line by removing the word "broken" which is already established in the verse. I think "written on every piece of my heart" would sing much better. jmo

Also, I'd try to get the harmony coming in on all those first on's in the chorus. I know that's tough and a minor nit but it's a little obvious on a true duet song since the harmony is so tight everywhere else. jmo

Another one to be proud of. The three of you make a great team.

WOW what a vocal performance!!!

I like the "rushed" last line of the chorus "on every piece of my broken heart" as, to me, it adds the necessary tension to a sad, sad song.I try to use that vehicle in my songs also.

Everything else is perfect, harmonies, mix etc.You 3 fit together well!

As Herb (guitarhacker) said the song is from the golden age of real country music.


Alyn

Hi, Floyd & Janice !

Solid as always as pros are
on the go !:)) I Particularly
liked the seamless vocals sung
by you two !:)) My best regards
to all involved !:))


Cheers
Dani

Hey Folks, Janice looks forward to responding to the kind comments....but in the interim I want to point out that floyd did the mixing and production on this not me! All I did "behind the console" was engineer Janice's vocal and as a bass player offer a few simple suggestions regarding the acoustic bass. Floyd did a great job on the mix -- particularly if you've ever listened to any of the classics of this country sub-genre. Thanks all!

Joanne - to the rescue - thanks... yea, I've pretty pleased with the simplicity of the lyric - that still conveys so much...

Noel - thank you. You do say the nicest things.



The song was basically "built" for that line. After the verse and chorus, I felt like I had said all I wanted to say... and repeating the chorus seemed like all there was left to do.



It was the first thing that came to mind - and that's usually the best way to leave it.



Appreciate that you notice that...

Thanks Noel - I so enjoy your comments.

A beautiful song and almost faultless in every respect.

Right up to the highest standard that we've come to expect from your work and the addition of Janice's voice is just the icing on the cake.

Did I say ALMOST faultless? Well, I have to agree with Josie - I'd have liked the harmony on the start of the lines, but yes, that's being really picky!

An absolute classic of the genre.

ROG.

Thanks Herb. Appreciate that.


Pretty much what we were after. Or actually, the more "updated" feel of Vince Gill and Patty Lovelace. It certainly helps having someone like Janice to sing with...


As I told Noel, the song was built for that last line of the chorus. And I tried a lot of different ways to make that work. In the end, I decided that the difference was actually a good fit. One of those things that, in time..becomes "the way it was done"...

Tom - thanks for all of that. I knew you would appreciate this one. That girl can sing! can't she??? Save one of those for me! - I would like to share a beer with you one day...

Thanks Guenter.

Like I told Herb, I did struggle with that. It is one of the reasons that it "went in the drawer" for so long. But in the end, that line had to STAY... it is what the song was written for. And (as Alyn states later) it adds a tension...




I have remixed the song to include those. ROG agreed with your sentiment, so I figured I'd give it a go...




Thanks Josie.

Floyd,

I like everything about this - great job!

Bob

Appreciate that, Alyn, as I'm sure Janice will...


I agree! That's why I left that the way it was. I knew it would be perceived that way - and decided that worked to my advantage. There are many songs that on first listen, I'll think "hmmm... I don't know..." - and over time it becomes a definitive part of that song.


Again, thanks...

Thanks Dani.

Icing... indeed.



OK, then... I re-mix it. I appreciate the input. After all... faultless is the goal...


ROG - thanks so much.

Bob - I really appreciate you saying that...

Hi Floyd
playing catch up again - as usual.
Fancy you once throwing this away.
Very archetypical Country Waltz with broken heated lyrics. (Not being cynical)
Interesting to me that there is only one Verse but two full choruses. Unusual but very effective.
The Mix is tops too. I really enjoyed the solo piano - dunno why I think it but it had a Floyd Cramer touch to it - but thats just me. It worked perfectly.
cheers
ian

I can appreciate the "this line has to stay" as there are times I have battled with my co-writer to keep a certain line in a song that she thinks should be rewritten.

Hey y'all, thank you so very much for the nice comments about my part in this song. I appreciate them all. I really enjoyed this project because Bud and I have listened to "country heart" songs for many years. Singing with floyd on such a great write made everything even more fun!

What a beautiful song, beautifully delivered. A real delight to listen to. Congratulations on a very professional sound as well. Five stars all around.

John

I always know I'm in for a treat when you post and this one somehow stands out even more so.

I absolutely love the vocal only intro - ghost of the ol' possum his 'self.

and I'm in the corner for keeping "broken" it is a very vivid image and completes the lyric "on the tiniest part"

And of course the vocals and harmonies are sweet!

much enjoyed

Floyd,

What a nice country waltz. The vocals are great, as is the mix! The piano is very cool, but the steel guitar is working for me!
I really like it!

Greg

Thanks ian. That one verse seemed to have worked out pretty well. I may have to try that again. Cramer practically invented that style piano playing.

Appreciate you droppin' in...

John - thanks - those are all nice things to hear.

Lawrence - appreciate that. A good friend of mine told me that he "wasn't sure" about that beginning. I said "too bad... I like it!" And I appreciate the vote on "the line". Thanks.

Thanks, Greg. Isn't BIAB great!!!!

It lives up to your motto "Music the way we like it."

It's good to hear a song that takes it's time, and lets the music breathe.

But I agree with Josie that "broken" breaks the flow in a disagreeable way.

Floyd,

I've been out for a while, fighting some of the battles of life. I almost missed this one, and really glad I caught it.

First class stuff from the very first note til the last. Great vocals. You and Janice really blend well together. And in my opinion, the lyrics are very well crafted. Really holds your attention all the way through. Really like this one.

Steve