So I got some industry feedback on my last song, and they said the idea was "commercial" and suggested a rewrite. It forced an ENTIRE rewrite, and Sir Noel Adams coached me through several thousand scribbles until it was done. I bow to you good sir.

https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs2/heaven-here

I tried to do country I swear I did but it turned out Van Morrison no matter how hard I tried. I guess I will have to leave the country to others.

The main acoustic is me and the other stuff is at the bottom.

Also, this is my first mix with the new Cakewalk by Bandlab. I really love the stuff that's in there to sweeten the mix. Really awesome DAW.

Heaven Here

By David Snyder

V1

Poor and newly married
At that October county fair
I recall your sugar perfume
And the sparkles in your hair
Ferris wheel took us to heaven
Floating in the air
You looked every bit an angel
Frozen in the then and there

CH

And girl
I’ve got heaven here
On every walk along the beach
At every county fair
And those diamonds in the midnight sky
Make it perfectly clear
That as long as I have you
I’ve got heaven here
I’ve got heaven here

V2

God knows that I am thankful
I say it every day and night
As we work these golden fields
Of this amazing magic life
When you’re singing in the kitchen
Playing your guitar
I say a silent prayer
And I count my lucky stars

CH

And girl
I’ve got heaven here
With every moonlight sugar kiss
And all the good times we have shared
And those diamonds in the midnight sky
Make it perfectly clear
As long as I have you
I’ve got heaven here
I’ve got heaven here

Bridge

We were meant to be
that much is true
yeah paradise is me and you

CH

And girl, I’ve got heaven here
As long as I have you
I’ve got heaven here
I’ve got heaven here

Words and music copyright 2018 by David Snyder, ASCAP/Day of Faith Records

David Snyder Main Acoustic and Vocals

Other tracks used

V1

RealTracks in style: ~683:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesPush Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 2933:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking SongwriterFolkSlapQuinn Ev 120
RealDrums in style: MultiRD [Multi] (Congas and shakers)

V2

RealTracks in style: 2692:Organ, Rhythm ModernPopSlowMike Ev 075
RealTracks in style: 804:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm DrivingCountryBalladClean Ev 065 (A:chop)
RealTracks in style: 837:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AltCountryRootsy Ev 075 (B:held)
RealDrums in style: FunkyCountryPop [Multi]

Now that's some dedication! It sounded like it was worth it to me. Great stuff, David.

Yes David, this is commercial worthy for sure!!! Very descriptive lyrics, let's me see you strumming guitar and singing. The reverb on your vocal really gives it a shine. Just the right feel to the rythym, and good balance between highs and lows. Cliff

This is one of your best tunes David IMHO. I did get a Van Morrison vibe which I think is a good thing. Well done .

Bruce Springsteen sings Van Morrison.....with claves.

Be careful with the claves.... they tend to be bright and cut through easily..... so don't let them draw people's attention from the song.

Cool tune and good work.

Hi David,

This style immediately put me in mind of Albert Hammond's - "It Never Rains In Southern California"
Hey, you're in good company there - check out his wiki for the songs he's written.

Commercial? Very definitely! Well worth the extra work.

Super vocal - the best I've ever heard you sing.

Hope it makes money for you - it certainly should do.

ROG.

Our fav DS vocal! Oh, and we are huge Van fans.

Well done and hope it works out well for you!

J&B

That does evoke Van the Man, and my ears heard a touch of Randy Newman in there. I can see hearing it on Sirius some day.

David,

You did a great job on raising this - notches, notches, notches. Many. WAY up.

Wonderful, fresh images throughout - that all help support your (modified. better) hook.

A nice "clean" BAND. A very engaging vocal.

A terrific listen.

Job. Well. Done.

(That Noel - he's a peach, eh?)

fj

David,

I echo the reviews above that this is now snappier, happier and more commercial.
Whatever you did on the vocals its working great - its a subtle difference, but the vocals here really stand out.
Forgive me for preferring the more personal lyrics on the original song- the changes are well crafted and more accessible so your aim was true.


Robert

David

Possibly the best I've heard you sound. Really nice work all round.
Right up there with your best.

Peter

David I also think that this is one of your best. Your vocal is the best that I have heard from you. Super backing tracks with an outstanding mix.

This sounds pro to me and I hope it makes you a fortune.

Fantastic song,

enjoyed the first one and really like this one

a strong write and very uplifting

so good!

Kenny

Hello, David

Very Cathy!
Strong vocal!
As ROG says, this style immediately put me in mind of Albert Hammond's - "It Never Rains In Southern California"
And I strongly feel the impact of John Lennon on the rhythm of the melody.
I felt the influence of the Beatles on how to put the back chorus.
Very good song!
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

Good stuff, David! Love the vocal.

Can't add much to what has already been written about the quality of the song and the performance but I think no one has mentioned the production yet. That is really standing out for me, the way you build the song as it progresses, adding and taking away. Top notch in my book.

Although I prefer the original version having more beautiful arrangement and touching lyrics, this one is more poppy and upbeat, reminds me of Prince's pop side. Definitely hit material, if there's any justice in the world, this should top all the charts - so catchy by rhythm and melody. Your production and vocals are really on your highest top level.

Janne

Thanks Ember! Thanks for selling me those Xtra Styles.

Thanks Clifton! I have to say that new Cakewalk by Bandlab is really something!

Thanks for the listen!

Thank you Scott. Sometimes I can't help the Van Morrison vibe. Nothing else will come out.

David,

You've really polished this up! It's a very engaging listen on all fronts! What I especially like is the sense of emotional 'ooompff' that comes with verse 2 where the music increases in emotional intensity and the lyrics develop very strongly.

Regards,
Noel

Thanks Herb! I appreciate that man!

And I will be careful!

Thanks ROG!

I appreciate that so much.

Glad you liked it.

By the way, I LOVED your last tune man! Killer guitar!

Nice job. The melody really stands out and moves along very nicely. Excellent lyric. Excellent hook. Enjoyed it. Good luck with it!

David, what impresses me the most about this song is your ability to take the notes that were given to you and run with them. So many people take the "I write how I write; and if you don't like it..."

Your approach will bring you success in life. Bravo!

Now I think just about everything about the song has been said. I'm just really excited to hear the outcome. In my book, you've already won with what you are learning in the process.

You've got this!

Nicely done!

To be honest, I liked the first version better, but not for what would likely be commercial attributes.

In my mind, this is an entirely different song, and a tribute to your flexibility as a songwriter and ability to do the job.

Dear:

Janice and Bud, Eddie, Floyd Jane, Robert KC, Peter, Mario, Kenny, Shigeki, Dave, Janne, Noel and GoCart Dave,

Thanks so much for all the kind and magnanimous words! I am doing a group thank because I am having a really hard time keeping up with this smoking forum.

So much cool stuff.

ALL of you people have been cooking it this year. Wow. What a forum and what a group!

Thanks folks, one and all!!!

David,

Really like this one—great lyrics, sound, production; really, all the elements come together so well. Good luck with this one—it deserves a lot of attention.

Regards,

Deej

David, that is one great sounding track! That chorus is awesome And the last line is wonderful! There is such a great warm feeling in this song! Thanks, T

Hi, David !


This is a really nice tune
indeed and ....well, the best
I´ve heard from you so far !
Absolutely top notch !!!

Congrats for your masterpiece !

Cheers
Dani