My Millennial Masterpiece

This time a simple pop song about writing a perfect pop song Most likely it's not a perfect masterpiece, but maybe there is a hidden message how to write such thing To keep the length close to 3 minutes, there are no solos.

RealDrums: Soul70sEv16
RealTracks:
VocalOohs #3064, #3069
Electric Bass #1398
Electric guitar #1398, #1236, #1401
Piano SynthLayer #1410
SynthPad #1543

Vocals by me
Mixed in Cakewalk by BandLab


Lyrics:

Sometimes I am trying just too hard
to create pure perfect art
even then when I am making love
mere technique
won't serve my sweetheart.

For many years I've been trying to write
my millennial masterpiece,
a tale to touch and delight
asking myself is perfection just a dream
or a flush of a swift gleam?

Sometimes I am trying by all means
to please the critics appetite
I can decorate the Christmas tree
full of frills
so it's no more in sight.

For many years...

Sometimes I am trying night and day
to resist all cute clichés
a euphemism after worn-out ones
I deny the truth
that love suits always.

For many years...

In the charming moment
of a three minute ride
my child awakens,
heavens open wide
clichéd or not,
still unique in my eyes
vulnerable, giving me
love with no ties.

For many years I've been trying to write
my millennial masterpiece,
a tale to touch and delight
asking myself is perfection just a dream
it's a flush of a gleam.

-------------
Janne

Janne,

This is really well done.

You tell this story well.

A wonderful melody. Beautiful AND catchy.

Excellent vocal. Your best, I think.

Really nice arrangement. Good instrument choices.
A very good mix.

Enjoyed this a lot.

fj

Hi Janne,

Good pop song!

Nice writing and melody.

Mix sounds good too, well done!

Pondering perfection.
A cool narrative and a good melody.
Your vocals get better with every track.
Nice pop ballad arrangement to carry it too.

Janne

Agree with floyd. Very nice melody and a very accomplished piece of writing.

Very well done.

Peter

The vocals on this are really great. Thanks for sharing!

Janne,
Funny and tasteful. Very cool arrangement. I am sure a Millennial would be very proud!
Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Nice bit of pop music.

But only three minutes? Speak for yourself!

What? It's not an extended double-entendre?

Well, then. Fine song. Carry on.

You may call it a simple pop song but it's
certainly well written, performed and produced.

Really good vocal and you put together
a fine band.

It's got that important quality of a good pop song
in that it sticks with you.

Well done!

J&B

Really pretty arrangement and melody Janne. I enjoyed listening very much.

Thanks Floyd, I really appreciate your very kind feedback I'm especially glad you liked my vocal.

Janne

Thanks Dave for your kind words

Janne

Thanks Ray for your positive feedback I know I should practice much more to make my vocals even better, even two week break means many re-takes and more tweaking with Melodyne.

Janne

Thanks Peter for your kind feedback

Janne

Thanks Ember for your positive comment

Janne

Thanks Misha, I appreciate your listening and nice comment

Janne

Janne,
I think there`s enough of the universal songwriter`s dilema in your personal struggle to make your Masterpiece song easy to relate to...and I like that image of over decorating the Christmas tree! No solo needed on this.
Your melody is a good pop contrast with the lyrics and I agree, your vocals are excellent here.


Robert

Lyrics that any songwriter on this forum could probably relate to. Interesting, well-constructed chord progression and nice harmonies.

Janne,

The melody is very catchy and beautiful.
The chord progression is very tricky but very smooth.
Both of them show your originality fully.
It is also very effective that the bridge melody appears at the end of the song.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

Cool tune Janne. Enjoyed the lyric and vocal

Thanks David, I appreciate your funny comment Okay, I have to admit it took me quite a long time to realize what you meant with double-entendre in this context I'm not sure if that was intentional, I actually wrote the lyrics 8 years ago in Finnish, but while translating I didn't think about hidden meanings in that part. Maybe, maybe not ... or, in fact, I was more worried about that 'child' could be understood in a wrong way, so I didn't use direct translation in a later part. But thanks for making me smile

Janne

Thanks Janice and Bud for your very positive feedback 'good pop song' makes me happy, because that was my goal (and always is)

Janne

Thanks Josie, I appreciate your kind comment

Janne

Very relatable lyrics. Fun song with good arrangement and instrument choices. Very well done. Enjoyed the listen.

Thanks Robert, I appreciate your kind positive feedback I'm glad you liked the tree image, here in Finland our Christmas tree decoration is quite simple, but when watching American movies, I can see that the trees are full of everything - I probably have got the idea from these movies.

Janne

Thanks Ghostgum for your nice review of my little song It is fun to write fellow songwriters on this forum about subject that is very familiar to them.

Janne

Thanks Shigeki Adachi for your comment, your words are always very heartwarming Yep, there are chords like Cmaj13, F#m11 and G#m7b5 so it's not really that simple for a simple song Positioning bridge is always bit difficult but I like to leave some small surprises to the end of the song.

Janne

Hi Janne,

Wow! This is really catchy and very inviting music. I love it! I'm sitting here right now with my feet tapping up and down on the floor and swaying my head from side to side.

Your melody is fantastic and the way that you've arranged is excellent! You've got a flair for creating good stuff And your singing.... it's full of confidence and shines with enjoyment. You held my attention from beginning to end and I smiled in admiration of your lyrics and music all the way through.

This is a wonderful listen!

All the best,
Noel

Hi Janne,

I think it's really not easy to write a lovable pop ballad, but you managed to write a especially nice one, A nice melody, great write, well-sung and arranged and flawlessly produced - a VERY enjoyable song. Enjoyed the listen a lot.

Cheers,

Stefan

Thanks Scott, I'm glad you enjoyed my song

Janne

Thanks Mark for your kind comment I'm really glad that you find relatable things in my words

Janne

Thanks Noel, your kind and positive words mean much to me

Janne

Thanks Stefan for your kind comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed my song a lot

Janne

Hi Janne ...

You wrote, arranged, produced and delivered a terrific pop song. You made excellent use of the vocal oohs & ahhs ... just enough in all the right places. Your vocal is excellent ... gets better with each new song you post. I know you posted a long time ago that you thought you aren't a very good singer. I think you were so wrong with that perception of your voice. I thoroughly enjoyed this!

Best to you ...

Alan

Thanks Alan, I really appreciate your kind and polite comment Well, I'm still not a good singer, and without Melodyne I wouldn't put any song out, but maybe some day in a distant future that can be possible… thanks anyway for your very encouraging words!

Janne

Hi Janne,

You've written a good tune that most of us here can relate to. Especially the part about overdecorating the tree and then suddenly you can't see the tree! I just have one critique - some of your phrases are very challenging to work into a song, getting them to sound musical. Of course, most of us statesiders know only one language, so perhaps we should be impressed regardless. I am one to use some tricky phrases myself (takes one to know one), and sometimes I ruin the prosody of my songs. So I know what it's like. But overall, a good effort and very well received here on the showcase forum.

Thanks TuneMonger for your nice words And I'm glad you liked the tree metaphor Because I have no ear to hear if some English phrase does not sound good, I'm open to all suggestions to make it work. This forum is really kind, still I hope to get such a feedback that I don't keep on repeating my silly mistakes

Janne

hi janne really this great vocal and nice changes in this really good stuff thanks eric

Thanks Eric for your nice positive feedback

Janne

Jannesan,

Very engaging tune . . . pretty melody that attracts the ear right off. And I agree it’s one of your best vocals . . . there’s a softness in your voice that fits right into the mix. And the mix itself is expertly put together. Really nice work on this!

My best to you,

Deej

Thanks Deej, I appreciate your kind and uplifting words

Janne

A nice tune Janne...
I especially like your lyrical description of a song...
"In the charming moment of a three minute ride"...
Good writing there!

I don't know if it is the perfect song but it is a damn (sorry PG music) good one!! Such a pretty melody....just rolls along so sweetly!! Maybe my new fave of yours!! Take care. Greg

Great chord changes and melody. Very nice.

Janne, I love that pop/jazz vibe I feel in this! You are very good with placing lovely melodies in your songs! The chorus in this beautiful! great work! Thanks, Torrey

Thanks Jim for your gratifying comment

Janne

Thanks Greg for your kind words I'm glad you liked the melody, the song was part of my project to write harmless pop songs about pop music with catchy melodies, so based on your review I guess I was very successful

Janne

Thanks Teletwanger for your positive review

Janne

Really nicely done - loved your vocals, and the lyricism is really interesting and attention-grabbing as well. Plus, it is superbly catchy.

All around a rock solid tune - thanks for sharing

Thanks Torrey for your uplifting compliments And thanks to BIAB for making it very easy to find the right vibe and instruments for simple ideas, then it is much quicker to find inspiration for the rest of the "masterpiece"



Thanks Deryk for your nice review I'm really glad you liked the vocals and lyrics.

Janne