I posted a late mix of this track for feedback/suggestions regarding improving the mix.
I've applied all suggestions and have a mix that the M.E., Torrey & Greg are happy with.
Thanks to those who made suggestions.
Thanks to Torrey for the excellent melody & vocals.
Thanks to Greg for the superb guitar playing/recording.
Thanks to BIAB for the tub thumping.
THOUGHT CRIME

C1
This is not thought crime.
Don’t you see,
We're out of time?
We’re out of time.
V1
There’s nowhere to hide,
When you and me makes two.
In a private hell and overcoat,
Like wearing dead man's shoes.
Dancing away in dystopia
Language becoming a gaol.
Self-fulfilling bureaucracy,
Hammers the nail
C2
It's not pantomime.
‘neath the chestnut tree,
We are out of time.
We are out of time.
V2
We are the dead, you & me,
You know that it is crystalline
Rewrite our own history,
Truth claims our last line.
Walking upstairs once again,
Screams behind the grate.
At today’s iteration,
For now, we will wait.
C3
When will bells chime,
Oh, Julia spat,
We are out of time.
We’re out of time.

Solo

C5
This is not my thought crime,
Two plus two makes five.
We are out of time.
We are out of time.
OUTRO

No, it's your thought crime,
Can’t you see,
We were out of time?
You’re out of time.

I had a quick listen to this yesterday. Very cool driving rocker. Torreys vocal was awesome. The guitar work was awesome as well. Well done Ray and Torrey excellent collaboration.

Pounds it on down. Torrey has that great chameleon voice that really suits this well. The Band and progression are tight, Greg included. You don't need me commenting on the mix. I sounds raw over mid-volume on my phones. So, yeah, I played it loud. Good stuff.

Very interesting tune - as Tangmo said, the progression is really tight. I kind of like the raw mixing on this - gives it an authentic and unique vibe. Nicely catchy too!

Thanks for sharing

ray,

Now THAT is Rock'n'Roll!

Excellent mix. Great balance.

And LOUD. Just what the doctor ordered...

fj

Man I totally dig this song. You may think I'm nuts, but I could see this on a Cheap Trick album. Great job!

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their nice comments on this tune! There was one glaring omission from Ray's list earlier and that was his own super bass playing on this one. That bass makes the song for me! It's funny that HearToLearn would mention Cheap Trick in his comments because anytime Ray sends me one of these rockin' tunes I immediately think of Cheap Trick and draw on them for inspiration. Grew up in the 70's and I've always considered Robin Zander as the gold standard of hard rock vocalists. Wish I could sing like that dude! Anyway, thanks to everyone and especially Ray for all of his hard work on this!! T

This tune exudes greatness.
Congrats to all involved.
Rob4580

Thanks folks,
thought you'd like to hear the end result.
The drums are the only BIAB element - and they took a fair bit of EQing, (two instances of parametric ReaEQ), but it does make the point that WMA files can sound pretty cool.
Thanks Torrey, thanks Greg L & thanks everyone/anyone who took the time to listen and offer comments.

Great collaboration guys! Enjoyed.

Great rock song - great collaboration! Mix is right where it needs to be.

Really enjoyed this one.

Bob

Outstanding.

Everything is hittin' the note!

We listened as loud as my old shot ears can handle and, yeah,
rock on!

Just a wonderful collab.

Nice bass too!

J&B

You guys nailed it!

There is nothing else that I can say that already hasn't been said.

Thanks folks,
there's a video in the OP now as well.

Great collaboration guys...
I really enjoyed listening to your mastered production!

PS: After hearing your SoundCloud version I watched the video...
Great job on it...
I was impressed with the technique of your images!

"We are out of TIIIME"-love that line ( and the way Torrey belts it out) going into the guitar break...and all the rest of this great thumping thought provoking song.
Cool video (how do you do that hand drawing part?).Like reading a Coles Notes book summary while enjoying the music.

Robert

hey guys this is pro sounding everything clear crisp and well balanced great colab thanks for sharing the finished product eric

Ummm...pretty amazing fellers, in all departments. I especially
like the fact that everybody has read "1984." From a marketing
point of view, this is a stroke of genius. Now, there are "1984"
vids out there, so you have company; but, most of them have that
"early Apple commercial" of "X-files" look and feel about them,
which is stupid Hollywood pushing its deviant take on things.
Yours is original. The message is lasting.