Hi, all:

Here's a second collaboration with Carroll Kiphen, who wrote the lyrics that jump-started this little rocker. I hope it's worth the listen. Feedback is, as always, both appreciated and usually needed. Thanks in advance to all of you. Stay healthy and safe.

Deej

Here's the song:

GIRL WITH DARK SUNGLASSES

Here are the lyrics:

When she removes her shades I can see
the fear in her blue eyes.
She’s so afraid for the world to see
she’s a frightened girl inside.

She looks cool and calm and in control—
little does anyone know that
behind those shades, she’s so afraid
her desperation shows.

The girl with dark sun glasses
looks like a movie star.
The girl with the dark sunglasses—
no one knows who you are.

At night behind closed doors she wages
a war she cannot win.
She struggles in vain, and it’s such a shame—
She won’t let love back in.

She looks cool and calm and in control—
little does anyone know that
behind those shades, she’s so afraid
Her desperation shows.

The girl with dark sun glasses
looks like a movie star.
The girl with the dark sunglasses—
no one knows who you are.

And her beauty’s betrayed her;
her fame has caged her;
she’s walked her time upon the stage.
Yes, her beauty’s betrayed her;
fame has aged her—
She hides behind dark shades.

She looks cool and calm and in control—
little does anyone know that
behind those shades, she’s so afraid
Her desperation shows.

The girl with dark sun glasses
looks like a movie star.
The girl with the dark sunglasses—
no one knows who you are.

And here is the band:

RealTracks: 1025:Guitar, Electric, Strumming CleanOpen Ev 120
RealTracks: 2643:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernPopHardHighMurray Ev16 075
RealTracks: 2644:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernPopHardMurray Ev16 075
RealTracks: 2586:Guitar, Electric, Soloist PunkMurray Ev 165
RealTracks: 2591:Bass, Electric, RockPicked8ths Ev 165
RealTracks: 1276:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopUpliftPulsing Ev16 120
RealTracks: 686 Organ, B3, Background Pop
RealDrums: RockHardModernEv8^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:4 beat Snare, HiHat

Great rocker, great hook, great singing. The bridge really intrigued me, I think many of us tend to phone in the bridge, (I know I do) but this bridge was interesting musically. A great one here!

Cool Deej.
Vocally the verses seem louder than the 1st chorus at least.
there's quite a bit of sibilant noise in there - could be the reverb accentuating it.
The bridge melody is cool.
This works well as a rocker but I can hear a country rock song in there via your cadences and other bits of melody - as well as the cautionary tale aspects.
Top stuff.

Hey Deej, that is a very cool song you made here!
Good lyrics and very well sung (however, that's allways the case with you and your songs)!
But I have to admit Ray has some good point about the volume and sibilance.
Despite that, it is a lovely song to listen to.

Hans

Yeah, I like this.

Good writing, strong, memorable chorus, and a great bridge! And of course I'm a fan of your vocals, always.

Good song, enjoyed.

Great lyrics to jump start this rocker. Well done both of you. Very creative Bridge, Deej, and the harmony in the chorus puts this right on the top shelf. Man, there's a lot of instruments crying for attention. Very enjoyable song!!

hi deej56 really great tune very enjoyable sounds great on my system thanks Eric

This has such a cool sound! A little like I fought the law and the law won rhythm thing going on.
Excellent vocals and lyrics.

Beautiful work Deej! Your vocals on this really shine! This chorus on this is really catchy but the bridge makes the song for me with the shift to minor lead in chords! Definitely my favorite of yours! Thanks, Torrey

Deej @ Carroll,
Really cool soft punk(?) tune! Solid stuff in all respects. Choruses are outstanding! Liked it a lot. Vocals are excellent, and I do wish they were a little more on the top of the mix
Powerful collaboration, congrats to both of you!

Misha.

DeeJ & Carroll ...

A really cool tune and so well put together! Love the diversion to the minor chord in the bridge ...that's a very nice touch! Super lyric by Carroll and arrangement by you. And, DeeJ, i think you've found the perfect landing spot for your vocal EQ ... this really hits the mark for my ears. Kudos to both of you! Wishing you both the best and be safe ...

Alan

Deej,

Your use of BIAB and your production skills have shown growth with each new release. And you've really hit your stride here.

The opening is excellent. Nice Bass start (few folks ever think to do that), then adding the drums (they sound good) and then a single, snappy rhythm guitar... all leading to a rhythmic vocal - Pure Pop. I'm hooked. The addition of organ at just the right time. Shades of Joe Jackson - does not get better than that...

All of your vocal work (in previous releases) has been good, but this performance is, by far, your absolute best. Well recorded, processed and tucked-in-the-mix perfectly. Pro level stuff...

A terrific Pop melody throughout. As others have mentioned, the bridge works really well. The way you handled the opening line of the chorus coming out of that was extraordinary.

The lyrics works well. But the real star here is the overall sound - Production, Vocal, Mix. Excellent.

fj

Dang man! There are so many bands I could say this write "sort of reminds me" of; but it's all it's own. For some reason, at times, I get a very cheap trick vibe. If you knew how much I REALLY like Cheap Trick, you would understand the weight of that comment.

The MULTIPLE hook you have in this song are AWESOME! SOOOO catchy! The arrangement/feel changes fit so perfectly in supporting them as well.

Mark me impressed. I'm really diggin' this song! Great job!

(Sorry I didn't comment on production. I'm more of a writer producer than an engineer. I'm not sure I'm even qualified to stand in a room with engineers. Possibly not even in the parking lot outside of the studio. Anyway, I commented on what I know a bit more about.)

We immediately thought of Tom Petty or his involvement with Mudcrutch.
Good things in our book

Gotta mention also that you make outstanding use of solo RT's as they
always seem to have been played just for your production.

Your lead vocal and harmony were as Gregg Allman says "hittin' the note" and
very much driving this excellent rocker.

You got handed a good lyric too!

Enjoyed it.

J&B

Deej,
An excellent write with all the verses leading to that great chorus hook.
One of the catchiest power pop songs I`ve heard on this forum and your vocal rides the energy of the song so well.
Excellent choices on the RT`s ( love the punk lead guitar).
I do think there`s that bit of harshness on de-essing to tame, but this is a keeper... and that bridge progression is really cool!

Robert

Great retro feel!! Very catchy, exciting song! Very good vocal, as always! I didn't realize you're in Marin County.....we're practically neighbors! Really great job on this tune!! Take care. Greg

This is an excellent tune. Very cool vocal, lyric and backtrack. Guitar was excellent. I really like the mix on this tune. Very well balanced..

Great rockin feel to this, catchy chorus, vocals well suited and solid through out you do the track justice with them.

It was upbeat and lively , yea I liked this !.

Thanks

Great way to start with only the bass, introduces nicely to the punk approach. Reminds me of The Ramones, especially the catchy chorus. The bridge is very intriguing, adds nice color to otherwise musically upbeat mood. Lyrics are bit dark like the sunglasses, but you have kept the message crystal clear and enough simple for a sing-a-long. Your voice suits punk very well also. Thumbs up from me for the melodic pop punk.

Janne

Deej

Superb, a great production, write and performance.

Just a really great (catchy) listen all round.

Peter

This is absolutely wonderful. I've stepped back a little from writing, etc., for a while, but just had to come back and listen a little to people's songs, once more ... and, once I saw you put something new up, this was top of my list.

Anyway: hard-hitting rock rhythm, your usual top-notch vocals and, certainly not least, your gift for songwriting, which sets you apart from many, I feel. All combined with Carroll Kiphen's lyrics to gift us another first class song. Can't praise it enough ... you've done it yet again. You're like a golfer that keeps hitting holes in one ... after a while, one realises that that is your usual standard, but that doesn't mean that one's wonder at how you achieve said standard on a CONSISTENT basis is any less for that.

In short ... superb job, well done and bravi, both of you.

Hey everybody:

Sorry for the delayed reply—just haven’t been able to focus much on music lately or find time so spend here. But I do want thank everyone for the really great comments and feedback. It’s beyond appreciated—and in many cases you’ve been too kind, but thank you! A few responses to some of the feedback:

rayc, Hans and Robert: Good ears as always . . . yes, there’s a very slight dip there that I didn’t think most would hear, and that’s mainly due to my about my vocal hitting the high end to much. That’s correctable enough. The sibilance is another matter . . . I think I’d have to re-record the vocal, as nothing I’ve tried has worked. The perfect storm of “esses” in the chorus doesn’t make it easier. For me, my one disappointment is that the song as a whole is a bit more high end than I had wanted. Oh, well, one of these days I’ll revisit and give another go.

Marty: It looks like more instruments than it really is—e.g., the organ plays only during the chorus, the piano only during the pre-chorus, etc. So I don’t think there’s any spot where they are all playing at the same time. I was just trying to give each part of the song a different feel. Not sure it worked, but there it is . . . .

HeartoLearn: I’m a big fan of Cheap Trick as well . . . I didn’t intend it, but listening to it again after your comment, yes, I can see where you are picking that up. Thanks for making the connection and the great feedback!

Hope everyone is staying healthy and safe—my best regards to you all.

Deej

Ahh, "shades" of when music was GOOD!
Your vocals are great. Everybody hears a little bit of somebody in your voice. For some reason I hear Buddy Holly...
In any instance great song, thanks for posting!

This is a great commercial rocker.
Your voice really suits the song and the guitar soloist fits in really well.
As others have commented, the bridge is especially noteworthy - a nice change of pace and an interesting progression back to the song.
Well done.
Mike

Deej, I absolutely love this song and this genre overall. The would have been a smash in the 80s. This song has me hooked.

Great foot tapper. Loved it

Bawb, Mike, Ezekiel, and Graham:

Thanks so much for the listen and feedback. Very much appreciated and glad you enjoyed the tune.

My best and safest wishes to you each,

Deej