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#344670 - 04/13/16 01:55 AM [User Showcase] Wine Red
jannesan Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 544
Loc: Finland
Wine Red

On a local musician forum there was a song contest for a song with red wine as the main character and a kind cat and sea included somehow. I had just composed a song in my favourite key G minor, so I had to write only the lyrics, first in Finnish, then I translated it into English to use once more the excellent vocals by RnAM. The song didn't win, but it got many nice comments, so here it is anyway smile The story may be cryptic, but I hope you get something out of it. Although not directly said in the song, "kind cat" is an oxymoron, that's why the ending is so gloomy wink

Instruments:

RealDrums NashBrushBalDbk

RealTracks:

Electric Bass #1825
Cello #1856
Accordion #1757
Acoustic Guitar Fingerpicking #2552, #2553
Mandolin #1601
Electric Guitar Arp #1537
Electric Guitar Arp #1597
Acoustic Piano #1006
Harmonica #626
Alto Sax #2294

Vocals: RnAM (big thanks, also for including the song as an example on We Sing Your Song )

Plus some sound effects...

Mixed in Adobe Audition

Lyrics:

Sunset colored in wine red
you spread your arms at the bow
you wanted to fly
that was your vow.

Friday at your cabin bed
purring, about to woo
but this mute kind cat was just
not enough for you.

Draining tears are red wine
I get drunk from the sorrow of mine
craving the fuel of oblivion
the sea has calmed its might
no companion, pilot, guide
I am drifting no land in sight.

Wine red was the gentle glow
perhaps painted by your groom
saw it on your cheeks
in the morning of your bloom.

You had filled my drink bowl
one toast for your sleight
it was the final showing
to veil the sinful night.

Draining tears...

Body's the ship of my soul
I sink it to the numbness in veins
sailing by the drink of the gods
my own stream coated in pain.

Draining tears...

The heart of the storm wine red, scratches in the bed
only for a moment the cat let out the thirsty beast
the ship deck is wine red, a body, a bleeding head
only broken glass observed the ending of the feast.

---
Janne

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#344701 - 04/13/16 05:35 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
David Snyder Online   happy
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 3057
Loc: North Carolina
Great composition overall, mix and use of instruments. Love the chord progression and the mood. It has a "Beatles" kind of tightness to the structure.

Good job!
_________________________
David Snyder
Audiophile Everything + Studio + Instruments + Fingers
ASCAP, NSAI
http://www.musicdealers.com/artist/davidsnyder
http://www.reverbnation.com./davidpsnyder
https://soundcloud.com/davidsnyderchannel
www.davidsnydermusic.com






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#344718 - 04/13/16 07:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2861
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Janne,

interesting lyrics and very tasty arrangement.
Great vocals.
An enjoyable listen.

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

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#344731 - 04/13/16 10:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
Pat Marr Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 7457
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Hi Janne!

I'd have to agree about the cryptic nature of your lyrics! I'm afraid I have to say that I didn't get anything out of them at all... but I respect the thought you put into fashioning such intricate images into your story. I blame my lack of understanding on myself more than on the song.. I'm too dull this morning to extract meaning from subtlety. ;-(

I thought the songs structure was VERY good.. great chord progression, and an effective selection of real tracks! I especially like the effect that the accordion had on the mood of the song. My only question mark is your choice of the harmonica, for two reasons:

1) it fits the same frequency range as the accordion

2) the song in general is very classy and the harmonica tends to be used more often in informal folky compositions. I think the accordion was the perfect choice for filling that whole frequency range in this song. To my ears, the harmonica sounded out of place in an otherwise upscale presentation

3) regarding the use of R&AM for your vocals, you could not have picked anyone with more excellent singing abilities! Everything they touch is benefitted by their presence in the mix!

4) I agree with David's reference to the Beatles, especially in the chord progression used near the end of the song to wind things down.

5) All nits aside, I am very impressed with this sophisticated composition... you have put a lot of work into this project and it shows! Great job! I look forward to hearing more from you!

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#344735 - 04/13/16 11:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 5077
Loc: GA USA
Nice production. Cool that you called
the A-team in for the vocals.

Enjoyed it!

J&B
_________________________
Never grow up...it's a trap.
J&B SoundCloud Page
J&B YouTube Sampler
J&B Website

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#344750 - 04/13/16 12:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: David Snyder]
Rob4580 Online   content
Expert

Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 1890
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Great composition overall, mix and use of instruments. Love the chord progression and the mood. It has a "Beatles" kind of tightness to the structure.

Good job!

I really cant improve on what David posted.
I agree.
Rob

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#344762 - 04/13/16 02:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
dga Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/22/15
Posts: 671
Loc: Raleigh NC
I especially like the harmonica part, nice production.
_________________________
"When you help somebody else you are really helping yourself"

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#344763 - 04/13/16 02:04 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: Janice & Bud]
dga Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/22/15
Posts: 671
Loc: Raleigh NC
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Nice production. Cool that you called
the A-team in for the vocals.

Enjoyed it!

J&B


Who are the A-Team I certainly like these vocals.
_________________________
"When you help somebody else you are really helping yourself"

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#344778 - 04/13/16 03:16 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: dga]
dga Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/22/15
Posts: 671
Loc: Raleigh NC
Originally Posted By: dga
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Nice production. Cool that you called
the A-team in for the vocals.

Enjoyed it!

J&B


Who are the A-Team I certainly like these vocals.


Couldn't wait for a response, search for the answer myself. Wow, Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp are a real A-Team Indeed.
_________________________
"When you help somebody else you are really helping yourself"

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#344780 - 04/13/16 03:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: dga]
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 2880
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi dga,

Ah, so you already figured it out by yourself grin

Visit our website or send a PM if you like.
We might add that we think that this is one of Janne's best compositions so far.
It demonstrates his talent to create complex and melodic songs (which are way more sophisticated than our own). His lyrical approach is very original and he's definitely not taking the easy way out there.

Some elements of his songs remind me of a British band called Prefab Sprout. Many musicians acknowledge that this is music that's not only interesting to the general public, but also to musicians! Prefab's singer: Paddy McAloon sometimes manages to sing as straight and tight as a piano key, so to speak, maneuvering through lots of 7 chords. I tried to do just that in this song.

Janne provided us with a Vocaloid demo of the song (which he's able to program like a pro ). He likes to program it with lots of tremolo and resonance on every last word of every line. It was a challenge for me to try to emulate this in the vocal.
I'm a huge fan of Morrissey (The Smiths) who served as an example for me here wink

Rob



Edited by RnAM (04/13/16 03:21 PM)
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

RnAM Homepage (completely restyled)
YouTube Channel

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#344835 - 04/14/16 12:56 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
Trygve Larsen Offline
Expert

Registered: 10/08/15
Posts: 826
Loc: Philippines
Wow ! What a beautiful song AND vocal ! Candy for the ears.....
_________________________
Forever Grateful
Trygve "Leo" Larsen
BiaB 2018 Audiophile, Windows 8.1, Intel Core i5 CPU, 270GHz, 32 Gb RAM
My tracks on Soundcloud; https://soundcloud.com/trygve-larsen
The Universe = Uni-verse ie one song.

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#344836 - 04/14/16 01:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: Trygve Larsen]
jannesan Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 544
Loc: Finland
Thanks David for your kind comment, mentioning Beatles in the context of my song makes me blush And thanks Rob for comping David smile

Thanks Guenter for enjoying!

Thanks Janice&Bud for liking the production and of course the A-team smile

Thanks dga for commenting, always nice to get positive feedback!

Thanks Trygve for enjoying my candy, I hope it won't get caught in your teeth, or should I say ears wink

---
Janne

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#344839 - 04/14/16 01:08 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: Pat Marr]
jannesan Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 544
Loc: Finland
Originally Posted By: Pat Marr

I'd have to agree about the cryptic nature of your lyrics! I'm afraid I have to say that I didn't get anything out of them at all... but I respect the thought you put into fashioning such intricate images into your story. I blame my lack of understanding on myself more than on the song.. I'm too dull this morning to extract meaning from subtlety. ;-(

I thought the songs structure was VERY good.. great chord progression, and an effective selection of real tracks! I especially like the effect that the accordion had on the mood of the song. My only question mark is your choice of the harmonica, for two reasons:

1) it fits the same frequency range as the accordion

2) the song in general is very classy and the harmonica tends to be used more often in informal folky compositions. I think the accordion was the perfect choice for filling that whole frequency range in this song. To my ears, the harmonica sounded out of place in an otherwise upscale presentation

3) regarding the use of R&AM for your vocals, you could not have picked anyone with more excellent singing abilities! Everything they touch is benefitted by their presence in the mix!

4) I agree with David's reference to the Beatles, especially in the chord progression used near the end of the song to wind things down.

5) All nits aside, I am very impressed with this sophisticated composition... you have put a lot of work into this project and it shows! Great job! I look forward to hearing more from you!


Thanks Pat for your long, analytic, but positive comment, as always! Your comments always bring smile even to a rainy day. Good comment on the use of harmonica. I agree that it occupies the same range as accordion. In an earlier version I used more harmonica, but now only in the intro, solo and partly in 2 chorus parts. I think I could remove those chorus parts or leave only few thrills. For me, in this song, the accordion is waves of the sea and harmonica birds in the air smile I also agree that RnAM singing is excellent, feels like the song has been written for them, even the backing vocals create the mood I was looking for.

---
Janne

Top
#344840 - 04/14/16 01:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: RnAM]
jannesan Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 544
Loc: Finland
Originally Posted By: RnAM

We might add that we think that this is one of Janne's best compositions so far.
It demonstrates his talent to create complex and melodic songs (which are way more sophisticated than our own). His lyrical approach is very original and he's definitely not taking the easy way out there.

Some elements of his songs remind me of a British band called Prefab Sprout. Many musicians acknowledge that this is music that's not only interesting to the general public, but also to musicians! Prefab's singer: Paddy McAloon sometimes manages to sing as straight and tight as a piano key, so to speak, maneuvering through lots of 7 chords. I tried to do just that in this song.

Janne provided us with a Vocaloid demo of the song (which he's able to program like a pro ). He likes to program it with lots of tremolo and resonance on every last word of every line. It was a challenge for me to try to emulate this in the vocal.
I'm a huge fan of Morrissey (The Smiths) who served as an example for me here wink

Rob

Thanks Rob for your rewarding comment, I'm flattered smile Your words are too kind, I'm super glad that you appreciate my work that much, I can't even find right words to express my gratitude. Mentioning Prefab Sprout/Paddy McAloon is probably the best feedback I have ever received smile He is like a god to me, the best songwriter in the whole universe IMO. His sophisticated melodies, flawless lyrics and mellow chord structures are really highest quality pop music that has surely influenced me, although I haven't directly tried to copy his work, except some lyrical ideas like for example in my song The Greatest Pop Of All. Unfortunately as a non-native in English, I can lyrically never get even close to his level of genius (in his words "I'm just a boy in rags").
Thanks for your hard work to turn my songs into something listenable! I'm now working hard to finish my latest song for you to sing smile

---
Janne

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#344957 - 04/14/16 12:59 PM [User Showcase] Re: Wine Red [Re: jannesan]
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 3691
Loc: Davis, CA
Very pretty song, and excellent vocal!! It has a very romantic, dreamy feel. How you can write a song in one language, translate it and have it rhyme is beyond me. I struggle to speak one language. Really nice work. Enjoyed much! Take care. Greg

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