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"Tenjooberrymuds" will make sense after you read the following.
I was recently in Miami and decided to learn the Spanish language, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds.
My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person
that answers the phone when I have a warranty or computer related problem.
Yep, by the time I read this, I was able to understand the the subject line.
"TENJOOBERRYMUDS"...
In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land...or any English
speaking country), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by
reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term
"TENJOOBERRYMUDS".
With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in and understand.
Now, here goes...
The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel
guest and room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today.......
Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees....morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.."
Room Service: "Ow July den?"
Guest: ".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so."
Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
Room Service: "We bodder?"
Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
Room Service: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
Room Service: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we
bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say.."
Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."
Guest: "You're welcome"
Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".......and you do, don't you!
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I had the privilege of working in a manufacturing plant in the deep South with a delightful Afghan man named Mohammed who would sometimes come to me with questions about the English language.
One day he asked me about something that other men would often say. To him it sounded like "ah goo" or "ah gun." He repeated it many times with subtle changes in pronunciation, but I still didn't recognize it. Then I asked when they said it. At the end of the day, was his reply.
"Oh," I said. "They're saying 'have a good one.'" "'Av a good wun," he replied. "'Av a good what?" Short for "have a good day," I said. He practiced saying it over and over, but in the end it came back to--"ah gun." That really is what they were saying.
I told him that the worse he said it, the better he said it, and that we'd make an American out of him yet. He kinda liked that.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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when we compound the language with colloquial terms, slang, and our regional dialects, our very difficult language becomes virtually impossible to learn. example: try to define "yonder" to a foreign student when it's so vague to the user. another example: nahn means nine and seeks means six in oklahoman. i could go on...
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The one that gets me is from Americans making up a new word for talking... i.e. - we were "conversating". 
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Many years ago, when I was between bands, I took up a bit of taxi cab driving in Fort Lauderdale, Florida (USA). It was easy, you simply rent the cab for the day, and get to keep any profits after the cab rent/mileage/gas fee. It didn't make a lot of money, but it was a day-by-day gig, so as soon as we got the new band together with about 40 songs for gigging, I could just not show up in the morning for a cab rent.
One day I was sitting on Las Olas Boulevard when a tourist (I suspect German) came up to me and said "Alawennis" (like AL - a - WHEN - iss, but one word). I couldn't for the life of me figure out where he wanted to go. He simply repeated it louder and louder, alawennis.
I got out the road map and placed it between us and had him help me find it. After a bit he pointed to one of the isles in the "Venice Of America" section of Ft. L called "The Isle Of Venice". So I questioned him, "Do you want to go to the Isle Of Venice?" and he enthusiastically replied, "Yes, yes, allawennis, allawennis!"
Problem solved. I enjoyed our encounter very much and was happy to help the old gentleman out.
Also in the same job, I got a call to pick up some people at a residence and take them to the Miami International Airport. A very good fare from Fort Lauderdale. I was also informed that the people speak no English but only Spanish. There are people in the office who speak Spanish, but at the time I only spoke some baby talk Spanish -- not enough to converse with anyone.
So I get to the house, we load all their luggage, and they tell me, "Miami airport, International (Eenternational), Pan Am". I repeat, "Si, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am".
It's a half hour to 45 minute drive, and they are speaking Spanish among themselves, and every now and then, direct their voice to me and say "Miami airport, eenternational, Pan Am" and I would try to reassure them, "Si, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am"
Since we couldn't speak to one another, they were understandably a little concerned about whether I knew where to take them or not. After all, they had a flight to catch.
At the time, as soon as you get from one of the cross-town expressways that take you to the airport, the hangar for the now defunct National Airlines was right in front of the road with a gigantic sign on the roof, "NATIONAL AIRLINES", at this time, in a very worried voice, one of my passengers said, "Miami Airport EEEEEEEEnternational", and I repeated, "Se, Miami airport, eenternational), Pan Am"
When I dropped them off at the Pan Am gate, and they spoke some Spanish to the Sky Cap they were obviously relieved, and grateful to me for taking them to the right place. With tons of "Thank You" and "Muchas Gracias" they paid the fair and gave me a nice tip.
I don't mind them butchering our difficult language, but try my best to communicate with them. I've been to a few foreign countries where I don't know the language, and use a phrase book to butcher their language, and people have always been as kind to me as I try to be to our own tourists and immigrants.
Back in the 80s, I worked on a cruise ship that docked in Cozumel Mexico once a week. I would take the ferry boat to Playa Del Carmen on the mainland. This was before it was developed, with only one, small two story hotel in the hamlet. One day I walked in the lobby and asked the desk clerk the way to the bathroom, "¿Donde esta el bano?". She proceeded to give me directions in Spanish which I did not understand at all. She obviously saw the confused look on my face because she immediately repeated in English, "Go across the lobby, out the door, over the bridge across the pond and turn right" (or something like that, it was a long time ago). I gave her a big smile and a "Muchas Gracias" and went to answer nature's call.
I remember my grandparents. They spoke very broken English, and my grandmother never learned to read or write in English, although she was fluent in Italian.
As an adult, I'm trying to learn some Spanish, and as an adult, trying to learn a second language, I can appreciate just how difficult it is.
Tenjooberrymuds
Notes
Bob "Notes" Norton  Norton Music
https://www.nortonmusic.com
100% MIDI Super-Styles recorded by live, pro, studio musicians for a live groove
& Fake Disks for MIDI and/or RealTracks
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I remember one time at a US Army Guest House where the maid came by one morning and asked, "Joo wan towers?" I said I don't understand. She said, a little louder, "Joo wan towers". I still didn't understand. I got the "Joo wan" (do you want), but couldn't for the life of me figure out "towers". So finally, I just said, "no thank you!". She looked shocked and replied, "Whaa, joo no take no chowers", at which point the light went on and I said, "yes, I would like some new towels".
English pronunciation is always an adventure.
John Laptop-HP Omen I7 Win11Pro 32GB 2x2TB, 1x4TB SSD Desktop-ASUS-I7 Win10Pro 32GB 2x1.5TB, 2x2TB, 1x4TB SATA BB2024/UMC404HD/Casios/Cakewalk/Reaper/Studio One/MixBus/Notion/Finale/Dorico/Noteworthy/NI/Halion/IK http://www.sus4chord.com
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A local restaurant owner was putting the final touches on the signboard for the day's specials. The sign started, "To day Special".
Owner: "You college?", pointing across the street.
Me: "Yes."
"You teach?"
"I'm the dean."
"This good?", pointing to the sign.
Now, I had a choice either to fix the English, which would have been inauthentic for that type of restaurant, or leave it alone. I said, "It fine, look good.".
BIAB 2024 Win Audiophile. Software: Studio One 6.5 Pro, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6; Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Roland Integra-7, Presonus Studio 192, Presonus Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors
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matt, my amigo, you are a national treasure!
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it's interesting how we english-speaking folks can take a totally unrelated noun, apply it to the subject, and be perfectly understood. case-in-point: we had a green (interesting application of that word) technician from fiji who overheard the shop foreman using expletives in describing a difficult repair. he said: "this blankety blank, mickey mouse tv!" at which point the fijian walked around to the front to confirm the brand name as he had never seen a "mickey mouse" television set before.
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Quote:
A local restaurant owner was putting the final touches on the signboard for the day's specials. The sign started, "To day Special".
Owner: "You college?", pointing across the street.
Me: "Yes."
"You teach?"
"I'm the dean."
"This good?", pointing to the sign.
Now, I had a choice either to fix the English, which would have been inauthentic for that type of restaurant, or leave it alone. I said, "It fine, look good.".
I have a cardinal rule of not doing business with someone who can't spell what they do. I make an exception for foreigners if they are minimally understandable.
I encourage anyone interested in the English language to read "The Story of English"--especially the chapter on evolving "Englishes" around the world.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Bob Norton's experience reminds me that I too drove a taxi in Atlanta for several years. I worked for a small, family-owned company that catered to the upper crust of Atlanta society. It was really the next thing to a limo service. I made half of my earnings on airport runs.
Because of this, or for whatever reason, many drivers disdained picking local fares, many of whom were Hispanic. I come from a pretty humble background and didn't really see how I could refuse any business, especially when it was slow. Other drivers would go home or sleep in their car until radio traffic picked up.
Not me. I put a Spanish dictionary on the dash and worked on vocabulary a word at a time. My grammar sucked, but I could understand and be understood in the limited context of a local fare. Say a street name and give me the number and I'll get you there. Everybody understands the number on the dash.
I made an interesting discovery. Even those who said "no" when asked directly if they spoke English began to develop an amazing vocabulary when I showed the effort I was putting into their language. And they tipped surprisingly well for people whom everyone assumed were broke.
The numbers were pretty good, too. I averaged about $35 an hour on a good day. During the times when there were no radio calls, three local fares an hour, even at the zone minimum of $8 point-to-point with any kind of tip, averaged out to $25 an hour or better. This when no other drivers were moving.
Muchas gracias, amigos. Hasta la vista. (And I did.)
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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we quickly adopt foreign language words and phrases (amigo, amiga, dunke, ad infinitum (pun intended)) into our native english making it that much more difficult to learn. in fact, it is difficult to find a word in english that is not traceable to another root language. german is not immune...german visitors to italy had never seen a transom, the hinged vent above a doorway so they would point and ask: "vos ist das?" (what is that?) so, to this day, the transom in germany is called a vos ist das
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The word for "gadget" in Polish, pronounced "vee hi ster," comes from the German "wie heisst der?" which means "what is that called?"
We ALL borrow, except the French, who do what we technically refer to as "mucking up the curve."
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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have you ever noticed that when we don't understand a spoken phrase the speaker will, rather than re-phrase it, just raise the volume? have you ever noticed...HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED...
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Have a friend who cannot see who is always miffed when he tells 'em he is blind -- and they reply with raised voice, as if that will help...
--Mac
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mac, as ridiculous as human nature is (nature is a mutha), imagine this: i'm mute and in a power wheelchair with a dynavox speech synthesis device mounted in front of me and well-wishers will start shouting at me as if that will help me communicate better.
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here's a link to my favorite collection of nearly English words http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word_e_to_h.htmlman walks into a store. The clerk asks "Melpew?" Man replies "Najess lukken"
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This is a very funny topic. But it's not only non-English speakers that have problems, it can be difficult even from an English speaking country. Having spent quite a bit of time in both the UK & the US, I came unstuck a few times with fairly simple expressions. On my first visit to the US we were ordering our meal, and I ordered an entree. Here in Oz, an entree is your first course - you call them starters - followed by a main course. Subsequently I ate a lot of food!! Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.  No offence intended here: An American tourist was visiting London England, and checked into his hotel. He said to the clerk "Which way to the elevators?" The typically British clerk said politely " Sir, the LIFTS are down the hall and to your left" The American replied "Lifts? they're not lifts, they're elevators. Heck we should know, we Americans invented the elevator" Again politely the clerk responded "Yes sir, I believe you did. But we English invented the language."
Cheers,
Keith
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Quote:
Another funny thing relates to the pouch that travellers wear around their waists - we call them "bum bags", but the American term relates to a completely different part of the (female) anatomy.
A fanny pack? Same thing, innit?
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
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The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
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Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
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Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
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Thank you to everyone who has contributed!
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