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Due to some fairly intense setbacks in just about every area of my life, I have not had any interest in playing or writing for about a month. I have not been up in the studio, I can't find a word to rhyme with "moon", I have no interest in music AT ALL right now.

Things have been going badly for me for the last month or so. There are health issues, financial issues, emotional issues (yes, girl problems, but not the kind you might think), issues with my yard and house, and upcoming neighborhood changes that have me a mental wreck.

The financial part is nothing that winning the lottery wouldn't fix, but I wanted to ask if you folks ever get into this kind of doldrums, and what snaps you out of it?


I smashed the hell out of my car today. When the cops came I told him "Officer, that guy was BOTH texting and drinking a beer." The cop said "Sir, he has every right to do that. I mean, it's HIS living room..."
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Beats the hell outta me Eddie. I haven't been able to motivate myself to play for the last 4 years.

I've written a handful of songs, but as soon as they're finished I put the guitar away and and don't touch it.

I'd have to say "ditto" to all of the problems you've mentioned plus a few more.

To say that music is on the backburner would be an understatement.

It's easier to nip it in the bud if you get it early. Don't let it drag out like I have.

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Eddie I always prioritize life. I make a mental list, and make plans to fix the ones immediately fixable, and the others i let go of for the moment. Kind of like a gun fight shoot the one that draws first, and work your way through the others, as need is.

Make sure that you spend some time each day in the pursuit of what makes you happy, for me that is in order, My faith, my family, and my music. Also don't isolate yourself. Make sure you get among people. go to a local coffee shop and just sit and watch. Find ways to strike up a conversation.

Find something to believe in. My faith is my rock in life. I love a scripture that reads "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need..". Having a core belief, and living by it, sharing it with others, is a powerful thing.

Lastly don't look at the problems as one big mountain, but rather a series of small hills, climb one at a time, and keep looking forward, and find one true friend you can talk with.

This too will pass!

Last edited by Robh; 04/28/12 08:36 PM.

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For me, I've noticed that feeling guilty about it makes it worse.
When the time is right...the time is right.

Scheduling a practice for 5 minutes, and 5 minutes ONLY can help.
Stop after 5 minutes. After a while, you won't be able to stand it!

You can't push a rope.

Mick

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Eddie,

I've always found that when I have an IDEA to develop, I don't have to find ways to prioritize the time... it's more like I have to find ways to override the obsession and do anything else.

Unfortunately, I often find myself slap out of ideas. Life is often too much of the same ol' rut, with nothing new in it to spark a flame.

I am definitely NOT creatively inspired by:

1) TV

2) Movies

3) envying other people's accomplishments

4) being around critical or negative people

5) forcing myself into a mold where Ijust don't fit

6) making everything into a task instead of a playful endeavor
(So I steer clear of those things)


on the other hand, the following things do tend to inspire me:

1) being around other creative people

2) any kind of playful thinking or activity. Play leads to creativity. Many of the world's great inventions have been the result of a person's playful pursuit of an idea that fascinated him. (search the archive for Mac's comparative definitions of "professional" and "amateur")

3) being personally involved, as opposed to watching from the sidelines

4) having a goal, and visualizing how good the future success will be

5) being around people who are co-conspirators or who encourage me. (eg. the forum)

6) remembering that everybody has problems and my life is not substantially different from everybody else's... neither substantially better nor substantially worse.

7) trying new things to break the old rut-habits and introduce new perspectives which automatically introduces new ideas, which automatically gets the creative juices flowing.

8) remembering my past successes as proof that my current slump is not the best indicator of my capability.

Based on your past communication, I'd say you have a solid track record of creative success. Set a new musical goal, something you haven't already done. Pursue it playfully without time constraints. abandon the idea of perfection and focus on what's interesting and enjoyable about what you're doing.

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Well, I do not force myself to write, perform and record music. I might go a month or two without doing anything, then I just mess around on my KORG keyboard, or pick up my Ovation, or something... things just magically happen - - - SOMETIMES!

When they do not, I do not want to put out any music because I am not on a schedule for that. That's the benefit of being a freelancer, I suppose. Emphasis on FREE. I'm not getting a lot of sales, but what I write, perform - it pleases me. Can't buy it in the store. That's good enough for me.

So, in a funk about it? Take a walk. Talk to some people you haven't talked to in a while. Or, just be a couch potato ... that works for me sometimes (problem is, the wife is not allowing too much of that LOL)


Cheers,
Mike

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Eddie,

You have, to put it mildly, enough significant situational stuff going on that almost anyone would be affected. What you describe is medically referred to as anhedonia--loss of enjoyment in formerly pleasurable activities. It is a primary symptom of depression.

I'm not a professional and I'm not suggesting that you are depressed. Nevertheless, as one who has been there (I'm on chronic antidepressants and will be for the rest of my life), I mention it for the sake of completeness.

There are many symptoms and you have to have several to considered clinically depressed. If you feel this may be the case Google "depression checklist" and see whether you qualify. If it appears to be so you may want to consider counseling and medication, if only for the short term. Even if you don't have insurance, many times excellent care is available in the public sector.

You have received a lot of good suggestions and I suggest you try some or all of them. They don't cost anything and they may work. But I hate to see anyone suffer needlessly. I want to be sure you have all the information available to make informed choices.

Richard

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Eddie,
I have been like that for so long I forget and really feel for you, mate.
I have similar but different problems but they too blight my life and some say that the 1st step to recovery is talking about it, SO you have taken the 1st step here.

How to get out of it?? Richard's post is good sound advice and please google Depression. I found the BBC Site good but then I am in the UK. (Forget the "Conditions that can cause depression" bit cos that is a load of b*ll*x, and I say that from my Medical point of view as I was a Dentist)
Laughter is the best Medicine so read Don's joke thread, some are funny (sorry Don!!!)

I make a point of firing up BIAB everyday and try to start playing with it from a different angle. I have even read the manual and often go "oh yeh so THAT'S how you do it".I also do the same to the other programs I have on my computer and have learnt some good stuff, most of which I have sadly not used yet. I look at my guitars and try to play at least one everyday but sometimes that fails, so I polish them instead and then rearrange my "studio". Usually I then need a few hours to get the b*st*rd working again so that takes my mind of things for a while. I haven't recorded for maybe 6 months.
I have a radio tuned to a rock station in case I wake at night so I dont have silence and time to think as I try to get back to sleep.

Some sites I find interesting Major Geeks specially the Off topic links, gives me a laugh sometimes! How to Geek and for music Sound on Sound Forums Kills a few hours

Alyn

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Hi Eddie,

I can't give you a definite cure for your troubles, but, I wrote this poem when I was going through the same.


Winters day

The dark and dreary winters day
Doesn't fall in the month of may
It doesn't fall in sunny July
But in my heart it still does lie

Time seems to stop on this winters day
It’s hard to keep the dark at bay
Perhaps the blue and cloudless sky
Waits for me bye and bye

The time has come this I pray
He’ll hear my voice and the Lord will say
Dark and dreary winters day
Be off with you and go away

A new day dawns it’s full of light
It shields the darkness from my sight
The sun it shines a golden ray
The past it was a winters day


All the best
George


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i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory

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Eddie.

The feelings you've got are real, because they're caused by real problems and sometimes it can be hard to see that these will ever change, but against the odds, you can always hope.

My suggestion is that you go back into your studio and write a song with the title "Better Days Will Come". Treat it as a challenge and force yourself to do it.

It won't solve your problems, but it once helped me. It just might work for you.

Sincerely, ROG.

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i have found this concept to be helpful at difficult tines in mg life

Circle of Concern - Circle of Influence
http://www.breakoutofthebox.com/circle.htm as well as this book

The Feeling Good Handbook
http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326

reflecting on the past and how you overcame the challenge you faced may also be helpful

these tough times and your reactions to then may provide material for songs

as you Can tell from the responses thus far you are not alone

i wish you well


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Thanks for sharing, Eddie. You are not alone...


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Sam
Karaoke King

--------------------

Turning that corner again - I have to keep following that dream, no matter what
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Yea you're not alone. I'm facing the decision of having to put my last little friend to sleep. I had hoped she would pass away peacefully first.


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Eddie, been there done that!

All of the advice that has been given is good advice. I will add a couple of things that I do when in a funk like yours:

1-Listen to music. Pick the style(s) you like and just enjoy.

2-make up songs about your problems! I found this very comforting. You should hear some of the songs I wrote about my totally incompetent supervisor!

Always remember you are never alone!


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Such GREAT advice, and even more, a reason to rekindle my belief in mankind that you would all offer such great advice, much of it based on your real life experiences. I have read everything carefully at least twice, and you are all the best ever for supporting me! Even you, Mike, even though you are from Pittsburgh where that team in black and gold lives.

All of this will pass. It may take some time, but it will pass. In the meantime, I accept the challenge and will start working on lyrics for "Better Days Will Come" today.

I don't know if I am frustrated or angry, and the anger would be directed inwardly. I make some bad decisions and then what it comes time to pay I don't handle it well. The emotional part of this stemmed from my having to say goodbye to a woman who I met about a year ago, and we became very good friends, but it reached a point where "friend" wasn't going to be good enough. Given the dynamics of the situation, "more than friends" just isn't in the cards. We live rather far away, she works 2 jobs and plays in 2 bands, and her kids are both involved in SO much that she is mom's taxi as well. The kicker though is that I was literally already out of high school when she was born, and that age gap is insurmountably huge. It did give me a song called "From A Distance", explaining how being forced to stay at a distance and keep it inside really stinks. An example of a song that is written but I have no interest in recording it. Maybe it's too painful of a song. I know that "The One That Got Away" was like that. I must have run that tune 100 times before I got desensitized to the lyrics enough to sing it through without breaking down.

On the health side, I will be 61 in 2 months and the effects of the diabetes are becoming much more pronounced, to the point where I will likely start losing toes and other appendages within the next year or so. The neuropathy is really bad at times and that is the last stop before the amputations start. And every friend I had who was diabetic was gone by age 67, some earlier. That doesn't bode well.

Financial difficulty started a year ago when I lost my job. I was off for 3 months, and when I did find a job it was for a very low pay rate and while I was able to keep my mortgage, car payments and utilities current (I was never late or never missed even ONE payment) 4 unsecured credit accounts totally fell apart. I arranged a buyout with one, am paying off a settlement on another, and I am in contact with the last 2 in efforts to make a settlement with them. Nonetheless, my credit score took a HUGE hit and that is depressing after working so hard to improve it to where I could buy my house in 2009. I would really like to sell this one and move to a better neighborhood but my credit prevents that.

The neighborhood part ties into that. My neighbor has not made a house payment in 29 months, and they have finally been foreclosed and will be evicted by the end of June. The house will then go up for sale in repossession, and who knows WHAT my next neighbor is going to be. My dog, in her whole 5 years here, has known she is allowed to go next door and play with the neighbor dog, including going in the house. Have you ever tried to UNtrain a dog and break her of something she has done for 5 years? I have already gone through the expense of putting in an outdoor kennel, and next have to put up stockade fence, but that's not the point. I am incurring all of this because someone else thought cranking out 2 welfare babies and buying 2 new cars was more important than their mortgage, and now our neighborhood is at risk of being ruined by an undesirable person buying that house.

And in a nutshell, that is what's at the root of my funk.

Thank you all for your input!!


I smashed the hell out of my car today. When the cops came I told him "Officer, that guy was BOTH texting and drinking a beer." The cop said "Sir, he has every right to do that. I mean, it's HIS living room..."
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Eddie,

Other than the great advice above all I can say is to find yourself an audience. Force yourself to get out in front of them and play your ass off, because you know from experience the love and feedback you get when performing just may be the best drug of all time.

My best to you,

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Come on, Eddie. Worse things happen at sea you know. You come from nothing you're going to nothing, what you lost? NOTHING!

Give the audience a grin!

You are still not alone. Makes me feel better though - you would not want to know what I am going through


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Sam
Karaoke King

--------------------

Turning that corner again - I have to keep following that dream, no matter what
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Hi Eddie,

Yep, been there a few times, and the more I try to force myself to be creative the less results I get.
I've found for me the best thing to do is just let go and ride the wind.
Eventually things have a way of coming around and I find myself in a better place where I can create again.
I think that you posting your message here is a good start to turning things around because you will see that you're not alone, and most of us have been where you are at different points in our lives.

Hang in there man things will get better.

Tim

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