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#210958 07/31/13 12:09 PM
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Trust me. It'll happen. You're too old to play gigs when:

1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.

2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.

3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub. ...

5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.

6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.

7. You lost the directions to the gig.

8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.

9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts.

11. The waitress is your daughter!

12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.

14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.

15. You refuse to play without earplugs.

16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.

17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

18. Your gig stool has a back.

19. You're related to at least one member in the band.

20. You don't let anyone sit in.

21. You need a nap before the gig.

22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.

24. You prefer a music stand with a light.

25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.

26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever

27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.

28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location.

30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!

31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.

32. The set list has to be in 20 point type..

33. Your drug of choice is now coffee

34. It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.'

Personal note: A few of these apply to me, but I'll never stop gigging as long as people will listen wink


Bob "Notes" Norton smile Norton Music
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It becomes important to find a place on stage with easy access to the restroom


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Originally Posted By: pghboemike
It becomes important to find a place on stage with easy access to the restroom



Good one!

And you don't wear your hat or toupee anymore because many of the audience members don't have any hair either.


Bob "Notes" Norton smile Norton Music
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hey, I resemble that!

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"You have to take the Citrus County Bus to the gig."
Thank God, with all my equipment...
Well, this was a list where I can attest to all the scenes described!


Yamaha...Motif ES-8, Motif Rack, CS6X
Korg...Karma,Triton Classic, PA-80, M-1+
AkaiSampler-S5000, Roland.. X5080 Rack/G-1000 Arranger
Various Guitars/Basses Amps Pedals Rec.Equip.


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You need to sleep all afternoon before a gig
You want warm milk rather than beer or spirits
you're worried you're too loud

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If the band’s starting time is the same as your bedtime you might be too old to gig!


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

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Originally Posted By: Notes Norton
...Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.


Or, how about if no one in your audience knows who George Burns or Dolly Parton is?

Bob


Biab/RB latest build, Win 11 Pro, Ryzen 5 5600 G, 512 Gig SSD, 16 Gigs Ram, Steinberg UR22 MkII, Roland Sonic Cell, Kurzweil PC3, Hammond SK1, Korg PA3XPro, Garritan JABB, Hypercanvas, Sampletank 3, more.
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Or when the audience members ask, "Who is that Justin Beaver person I heard about?"


Bob "Notes" Norton smile Norton Music
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You mention the Beatles and the audience yells "WHO!!!"


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You have to have the monitors louder than the mains.

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your ax weighs more then your doctor allows you to carry

Last edited by pghboemike; 08/02/13 08:25 AM.

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Hey, finally a fun thread.

You're to old to gig when:

You can't remember what c.r.s. stands for.

Someone makes a request and you can't remember the song.

You have to start using charts and you panic when you can't find them to take to the gig.

You're a brass player and your lips are now 1/3rd the size of what they used to be.


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Wow some of those really hit home.

Re: audiences, I introduced "All My Loving" by the Beatles but with a different arrangement at a gig just this afternoon, and I could overhear a few people saying "I never heard of it".

With this said I am thinking of just telling my audiences that I wrote all of these songs they never heard of.

Great thread!

Later,

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Quote:
You mention the Beatles and the audience yells "WHO!!!"


And if you played a song by “The Who”, they’d say “who?!” wink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htz9CS-Zmms

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Did you mean, "Who's on bass?" wink

---

When you want to introduce the members of the band to the audience, but you can't remember their names


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I thought Idunno was on 3rd


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