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Very poetic. The simple arrangement fits such a sad story. I totally agree with you that the great thing about this software is it can follow or take the muse in new directions. I thought your vocal was especially nice.

Josie

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Awesome Song Floyd Jane!

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Originally Posted By: davidgitar
You're welcome Floyd... and I appreciate the warm welcome!

As to your question about posting some material in the showcase and to be honest, the short answer is probably so, but I don't know when that will happen yet. I bought BiaB initially to assist with recreating some sequenced tracks I created for an extended family member before he passed last year. I had recorded him singing six tracks into a VS-2000 that I arranged and produced sequences for in Fruity Loops some time ago.

Unfortunately, I lost the MIDI files created from Fruity and all that work was down the tubes. But at least I had his vocals backed up to a disc. I was going to re-record everything and re-mix it because I had mixed the kick drum heavy on purpose for recording him. But when I was going to revisit the work, I couldn't find the original Fruity or MIDI files anywhere. From that point, I planned just to build some drum tracks from EZ Drummer and a simple key track from EZ Keys (both of which I own), and play all the guitar and bass parts and have some fellow musician friends add some piano, pedal steel, fiddle and harmonica. But when I looked at BiaB's new videos, I was really impressed with the increase in quality of sound the software was generating and thought it would be a better use of funds to buy BiaB for that project then have it for songwriting and such later.

There's a lot going on in my life at the moment and I don't have as much spare time as I'd like to develop my musical and songwriting ideas. But I do plan to do something, if it's nothing more than creating some instrumentals to jam over and post.

David


Hey, David... have you tried running what you have (the song) through ACW (the Auto Chord Wizard in BIAB)? I imagine, since you sequenced the original tracks, they should be a steady bpm, so ACW should at least give you that. If it doesn't give you the right chords (sometimes does, sometimes a little off), as long as you tell it where beat 1 of the first measure is, you can fix the chords in BIAB and generate new backing tracks to then mix the vocal with in a DAW...



Originally Posted By: c_fogle
Great imagery with this sad story. A good production and well written lyrics that as you say, paint images into our minds. I liked the sparseness in this one and think it was a great choice for the overall impact of the song. There was a place or two throughout the song I thought you might choose a more distinctive chord change to emphasize the lyrics but your way worked more than satisfactorily.

For me, this is a pretty heavyweight of a write and one of your better lyrical presentations. There's a lot to like here. Enjoyed this from start to finish. Charlie

Thanks for the very nice review, Charlie.


Originally Posted By: critter
Another winner from the master FJ. I never thought of using strings, this has made me think that maybe in some of my upcoming tunes to throw some in.......Again a great but tragic song.

Thanks, Steve. The strings are terrific. You can try the Quartet to see if they work in a song, but if they don't, they are also separated out as individual tracks. The cello works in SO many songs you can find yourself putting it in to almost everything...

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Originally Posted By: RichMac
A very nice song and beautifully done.
Fairly cryptic melancholy lyrics.
Your voice comes through particularly well on this one.
You certainly are a major ambassador for BIAB.
Cheers.

Richard - appreciate all that. I never thought of this lyric as cryptic... isn't that interesting?... BIAB is incredible...



Originally Posted By: George Nelson
Hi Floyd,

Not many songs take me there, but this one did.

Regards
George

Thanks, George... that is a nice thing to say....

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Floyd,

No, I had not thought of that yet so thanks for suggesting it. It's a great idea and could be a timesaver, too.

David

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Originally Posted By: JosieC
Hey Floyd. That is something else. What a wonderful write and a wonderful production. The rhyme that I waited for for most of the song was rewarded. "education" "dictation". Classic

LOL - thanks, Joanne... that's quite a stretch for a rhyme, wouldn't ya say?....


Originally Posted By: tommyad
Wow, I was not expecting this. This is way outside the box of your normal material. The structure is something that will best be explained by someone like Noel who has a much better understanding of rhyme schemes. I love the way the piano enters. The strings sound great and the cello in the bridge is very Beatlesque. If someone else was singing this I never would have guessed it came from your pen. You certainly sang it with a lot of feeling and conveyed the melancholy sadness of a troubled life. Did your hands get cold that day on Grove's pond or just your heart? Really nice job on this very poetic piece and beautifully produced. Enjoyed immensely, Tom

Ah, Tom... always like to keep you on your toes.. that piano is one of my favorite BIAB tracks...I use it a bunch - it's very versatile...and. of course...that cello! it fits everywhere... thanks for the nice review...
Oh..almost forget... it was both - hands and heart...


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Hi Floyd,

I said I wasn't going to comment on your songs anymore because you don't need advice or encouragement. But it might still be useful to hear how your creations come across to a variety of people, so to that end, here goes:

1) I really liked the snipped and reused acoustic guitar part that formed a signature motif to begin and end with. Touches like that really do a lot to hide the "automation effect" (for lack of a better term)

2) I also like the way you play with rhyme, sometimes going loose with it, sometimes not, whatever it takes to get a conversational feel.

3) When the piano kicked in at the second verse, I smiled because it was perfect... just what was needed to add a little something new, but not so much as to overpower anything.

4) I agree somewhat with the comment about the lyrics being cryptic... but I don't think that's a bad thing. It makes a song more interesting if you have to think about the lyrics in order to understand the message. Ultimately, it wasn't a message that was too hard to figure out

5) I'm missing something in the part with the red haired boy. At first listen it seemed superfluous to the rest of the story. I'm missing its tie-in with the theme of Peggy's seductive style of success. The only tie-in I can derive is that true love typically begins with some kind of endearing exchange, such as the offering of gloves on a cold day... and in that sense, her lack of response would drive home the point that she wasn't looking for anything as small as gloves or love.

6) You did a very nice job with the strings! Strings can go corny in a heartbeat. Also, RT strings have a way of pasting together in combinations that make good musical sense, but they fail to deliver an emotional appeal. These strings delivered the full emotive payload.. I don't know how much time you spent on them, but it was worth it!

7) it took several listens before I caught on to the point that the best friend in the last verse was same as the best friend in the first verse. I really like information that is implied in the lyrics.


All in all, I thought it was an extremely well crafted song, with all the right elements in all the right places. The time that you've dedicated to the craft of song-writing really shows! I'm glad you're here helping to show what PGMusic products are capable of! You really are a great endorsement for the products and a great contributor to the forum. A lot of what's good about this place is directly attributable to you, and the way you have drawn others out of their shells and created an environment of safety and acceptance where everybody can post their songs without fear of being brutalized.



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Since brevity is the soul of wit, I'll try to be succinct.

Love the dark quality of this one. Really captured the torment.



Regards,

Bob

Last edited by 90 dB; 02/22/15 11:38 AM. Reason: Spelllling
FredM #285331 02/23/15 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Floyd,

so tastefully arranged!!
And again one of your special stories. The correspondence of the first and last verse is just great.
Vocals and harmony good as always.
I've already listened five times.

Guenter

Thanks, Guenter. Always appreciate your support and positive comments...


Originally Posted By: Achordocaster
Hey Floyd,
Another excellent song.... A cool departure from your normal style.
The vocals and production are top notch as always.
I really like the sound of the piano and your use of the string parts is as good as it gets.

Nice job! Greg

Thanks, Greg. Glad ya dropped by...


Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Beautiful execution of a beautiful song!! Nobody does it better than Floyd Jane. Arrangement was perfect-just the right decorative touches to accent the song. Strings were used flawlessly. Another true gem Floyd!! Take care. Greg

Other Greg... LOL... That's a delightful review in a few sentences... Uses words wisely = songwriter... which brings me to... where is your next???


Originally Posted By: FredM
Floyd,
What a sad story. I was with it from the first line. You've put the guitar in the spotlight, and the piano supporting. That worked very well to me, giving the melody fragility.
The cello is such a melancholic instrument, and well placed in this song.
And... Great vocals and harmonies!
Loved it... again ☺ Fred

Fred - I appreciate you coming by for a listen...and the nice comments...

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Floyd,

That was beautiful.
Such a sad song but the arrangement and your voice made it work.

wonderful

Alyn

Tommyc #285473 02/24/15 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted By: R & AM
Hi Floyd,

This is a beautiful song.
Both the guitar and the piano sound very, very well. A perfect combination.
And of course your vocals are very good again!

Rob and Anne-Marie

Rob and Anne-Marie - Thanks, y'all! Appreciate that...


Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.

A very classy piece of writing, supported by a very emotive vocal delivery and great choice of instrumentation.

I'm full of admiration for what you've done here, but to be honest, though I normally listen to your songs several times, this one's too sad for me to play again, which is probably a tribute to how well it works.

ROG.

Thanks, ROG... sometimes, you just have to do a sad one, ya know...


Originally Posted By: Sundance
Very poetic. The simple arrangement fits such a sad story. I totally agree with you that the great thing about this software is it can follow or take the muse in new directions. I thought your vocal was especially nice.

Josie

Thanks for the listen, Josie....


Originally Posted By: Tommyc
Awesome Song Floyd Jane!

TOmmy - ALWAYS good to see you drop by!!!

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This has a sadness to it a la Prine at his best. Many producer/arrangers would have buried it in lushness but you amplified the feel by the "no meat on the bones" production. And the vocals? Well, on an arrangement like this you had better have
the chops because there is no where to hide. We can't imagine it being delivered by anybody else. Your voice milks every bit of the emotion w/o getting into the "overwrought mode."

We are in awe of it all -- vocals, the write, arrangement and production. Something to aspire to.

Bud and Janice

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Originally Posted By: Pat Marr
Hi Floyd,

I said I wasn't going to comment on your songs anymore because you don't need advice or encouragement. But it might still be useful to hear how your creations come across to a variety of people, so to that end, here goes:

Pat - I would miss reading your comments regarding the songs I post...this provides a perfect example why. You bring a unique perspective and an insight that takes a song discussion to places that others seldom go... that's a good thing...

Quote:

1) I really liked the snipped and reused acoustic guitar part that formed a signature motif to begin and end with. Touches like that really do a lot to hide the "automation effect" (for lack of a better term)

And I think pointing those things out are important. Some might not ever even think of doing that. But it is a fairly easy thing to do (in you DAW) and can give a song an identity without much effort. I play this song (on guitar) with a similar "lick" that repeats throughout the song as I play. My initial intent was to record that lick to add to the mix. But when I heard this figure played by the acoustic RT, I realized I could use it instead - and it saves me having to set up for the recording...

Quote:

2) I also like the way you play with rhyme, sometimes going loose with it, sometimes not, whatever it takes to get a conversational feel.

It always has to "fall on the ear" correctly. Without bumps. Sounding natural. Half the battle. If you aren't willing to do that from the start, all the fancy processing in the world won't cover it up...

Quote:

3) When the piano kicked in at the second verse, I smiled because it was perfect... just what was needed to add a little something new, but not so much as to overpower anything.

Chalk that up to the astounding capabilities of BIAB. There are so many choices that if you keep looking, you can almost always find what is required. As I've said before, I've used this same piano track in many songs - in many different ways....

Quote:

4) I agree somewhat with the comment about the lyrics being cryptic... but I don't think that's a bad thing. It makes a song more interesting if you have to think about the lyrics in order to understand the message. Ultimately, it wasn't a message that was too hard to figure out

It is very interesting for me to hear you (and Richard) say this. I'm sure you are aware that I'm not one to typically write "cryptic" lyrics. But I understand (usually) those who do. In this case, the song is based on actually events/people - and the lines all have specific meanings. I guess it harkens back more to listening to Joni Mitchell than Alan Jackson...

Quote:

5) I'm missing something in the part with the red haired boy. At first listen it seemed superfluous to the rest of the story. I'm missing its tie-in with the theme of Peggy's seductive style of success. The only tie-in I can derive is that true love typically begins with some kind of endearing exchange, such as the offering of gloves on a cold day... and in that sense, her lack of response would drive home the point that she wasn't looking for anything as small as gloves or love.

I'd say that you didn't "miss" anything at all. You defined it pretty well. It is intended to be somewhat "dream-like" - recalling the past - a time of innocence - when her path might have included that love that was being offered... the fact that she does not - or cannot - respond says that there may be a void of some kind that can't or won't be filled...

Quote:

6) You did a very nice job with the strings! Strings can go corny in a heartbeat. Also, RT strings have a way of pasting together in combinations that make good musical sense, but they fail to deliver an emotional appeal. These strings delivered the full emotive payload.. I don't know how much time you spent on them, but it was worth it!

Thanks for noticing! Using the individual String RTs made this fall into place fairly quickly. The cello is always good - and usually a good one to start with. By adding the viola next - a few beats later - and then the 2 violins - another few beats later, it provided the perfect build there (and that dream-like sense that was needed. I hope that PGMusic continues to add to this collection!!!


Quote:

7) it took several listens before I caught on to the point that the best friend in the last verse was same as the best friend in the first verse. I really like information that is implied in the lyrics.

I kind of like that it takes some thought to pick that up...

Quote:

All in all, I thought it was an extremely well crafted song, with all the right elements in all the right places. The time that you've dedicated to the craft of song-writing really shows! I'm glad you're here helping to show what PGMusic products are capable of! You really are a great endorsement for the products and a great contributor to the forum. A lot of what's good about this place is directly attributable to you, and the way you have drawn others out of their shells and created an environment of safety and acceptance where everybody can post their songs without fear of being brutalized.

Thanks for all the nice comments (and your insights). This is a terrific community - and it is the combination of the personalities making it up that make it what it is... you are a big part of that...

(PS - I liked the discussion that was here - that no longer is - it was a valid point and I would have gladly addressed it)

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Quote:
(PS - I liked the discussion that was here - that no longer is - it was a valid point and I would have gladly addressed it)



Floyd, I removed that observation because I realized it was a function of my mood not a function of your song. In fact, on subsequent listens, I perceived the song differently than I did when I wrote the comment that got removed.

But, if you want to post the removed observation and comment on it, I'm OK with that.



regarding "cryptic lyrics"
By that I just mean that they aren't so simple that no interpretation is required. You think about every word you write, and I think it is the listener's responsibility to put an equal amount of thought into understanding what your words are saying. If I don't understand something until the 6th listen, that probably means that there are layers of meaning, and I only picked up on the obvious layers the first few times through.

I guess to some, the word "cryptic" means "obfuscated" or "intentionally obscured in meaning". That's not how I mean it. I mean it in the sense that your meaning is not encoded, but there is still a certain amount of discovery required.


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Floyd,

A beautiful sad song... Great lyrics, mix and outstanding vocal.

Bob

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Originally Posted By: 90 dB
Since brevity is the soul of wit, I'll try to be succinct.

Love the dark quality of this one. Really captured the torment.

Regards, Bob

Thanks, Bob.... you are soulful and witty..I liked this part, too...
Edited by 90 dB (02/22/15 01:38 PM)
Edit Reason: Spelllling



Originally Posted By: gibson
That was beautiful.
Such a sad song but the arrangement and your voice made it work.

wonderful Alyn

Thank you, Alyn...

rsdean #285963 02/27/15 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
This has a sadness to it a la Prine at his best. Many producer/arrangers would have buried it in lushness but you amplified the feel by the "no meat on the bones" production. And the vocals? Well, on an arrangement like this you had better have
the chops because there is no where to hide. We can't imagine it being delivered by anybody else. Your voice milks every bit of the emotion w/o getting into the "overwrought mode."

We are in awe of it all -- vocals, the write, arrangement and production. Something to aspire to.

Bud and Janice

Well... heck... y'all are too nice... (thanks!)


Originally Posted By: rsdean
Floyd,

A beautiful sad song... Great lyrics, mix and outstanding vocal.

Bob

Thanks, Bob. Appreciate you stopping by...

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Just a super arrangement! Great song!

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