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My submission for JosieC's Rhino Project THE RHINO CRY Real Tracks: 366:Bass, 911:Piano, Electric, 873:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm 1680 Guitar, 12 String Acoustic, Fingerpick 871:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm 2169 Guitar, Resonator, Soloist NashvilleEven16^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride EDIT: Thanks to all who have taken time to listen and comment. I have uploaded an updated version of "The Rhinos Cry" with changes to reflect some of the suggestions made here on the forum to improve the song. The guitar intro is now balanced to the center. I was able to get a singer to replace my vocals. I made the lyric changes suggested by Tommyad. I appreciate Herb's offer to work with my off-pitch vocals in Melodyne but the best repair is to replace in this instance in my opinion. I appreciate Bob Butler for doing the vocals. I increased the volume of the resonator guitar soloist. I think all of these changes have improved the song quite a bit. I did notice an artifact in the mp3 guitar intro that was uploaded to Soudcloud but I did not hear in the Wav version. Not sure what caused it. The Rhino's Cry_Revised Lyrics: As the sun rises above the plains Another field is scarred with bloody stains A gunshot sounds and an innocent dies The rhinos cry The rhinos cry Every day gunshots fill the air Time to stop them and show we care And make it safe for where the rhino lie Hear their cry The rhinos cry Let's not face the morning after Wondering why we lost them all Will it be me or maybe its you To stand for those unable to As the sun rises above the plains No more fields scarred with bloody stains Let's make it safe for where our rhino lie Hear their cry The rhinos cry The rhinos cry Rhinos cry The rhinos cry
Last edited by c_fogle; 07/13/15 06:18 PM.
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Hi Charlie,
Your song rings with empathy, sincerity and honesty. AABA form is a personal favourite of mine and it's perfectly suited to carrying your message.
Since Josie first spoke about Rhinose and the plight of the rhino, I've done a little research on the internet. Some of the photos I've seen are horrific. I don't think I'll ever forget them. I never realised it was so bad. What the poachers do is barbaric and I really hope that Josie's efforts, and all who are associated with them, become a very loud voice in the arena of helping protect these wonderful animals.
To my ears, your song was a beautifully sympathetic tribute in support of these magnificent creatures.
I'm going back to have another listen.
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Really pretty Charlie. Great job. Good luck with it.
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Charlie,
Sad song.
If only the rhino's could understand that there are people who care
JosieC is fighting a worthwhile fight with the help of some great, but sad, songs. Like yours.
Alyn
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Hi Charlie
What a lovely but sad song. Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate all the effort that went into writing and producing this. Am sending you a pm.
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
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Good song.... the singing is a bit pitchy for something that's going on a commercial release. Can you run some melodyne on it? This is one of those cases where I believe melodyne editor can save the day so to speak.
If you don't have M.E. I will be happy to give it a try if you wish.
It's good to see all the creative ideas coming together for this project.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 07/12/15 01:32 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Charlie,
This is your best. Super.
A good, solid write. A terrific arrangement - nice choice of instruments. The dobro solo needs to be louder - it's getting overshadowed by the band.
It's nice of Herb to offer his help. A few words could use tweaking. I thought the vocal could use a bit more reverb (a "soft" one).
Excellent song.
floyd
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Charlie,
This is your best. Super.
A good, solid write. A terrific arrangement - nice choice of instruments. The dobro solo needs to be louder - it's getting overshadowed by the band.
It's nice of Herb to offer his help. A few words could use tweaking. I thought the vocal could use a bit more reverb (a "soft" one).
Excellent song.
floyd +1, Charlie, This is a great contribution. I love the song! I agree with floyd, bring up the dobro solo and add a little verb on the vocal. My suggestion on lyric tweak would be "Everyday gunshots fill the air - Time to stop them and show we care" . Poachers is implied and I think it rolls off the tongue a little easier. I also would double the acoustic to the right on the intro for balance and then you can pan it left after the vocal starts. This is among your best writes. Very well done. Tom
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Hi Charlie,
a nice but sad tribute.
I'd accept Herb's offer.
Enjoyable listen.
Guenter
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Hello Charlie, we agree with everything said by others, a very good job. This must have taken quite some effort. Fits in nicely to the rhino project. We also agree with Herb that the vocals could be a little bit more in tune. This can be accomplished with either melodyne or a free VST plug-in called: GSnap.vst we also use it at times and it works pretty nicely. Rob & Anne-Marie
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Another beautifully done rhino song!! Really love the feel of the music. Arrangement is terrific, and the vocal has a lot of feeling. You guys have made me afraid to try writing a rhino song with your excellent contributions! Take care. Greg
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Awesome tune . Heartfelt lyrics. Well done
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Apprentice
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A beautiful, but sad tune. I thought the resonator soloist track was a nice touch.
Thanks for the music,
Dan
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Beautiful and gentle Charlie and i love the melody.
The hook is great. The Rhino cry. Cruisy overall sound and delivery. Cheers.
Last edited by RichMac; 07/13/15 06:07 PM.
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Hi Noel. I'm glad you enjoyed the song. Like you, prior to working on Joanne's project, I was not aware such a gruesome thing was occurring. Learning that Rhino's only have a calf every two to three years made it clear they cannot keep up with the numbers lost to poachers each year.
I became aware of the different song formats years ago realizing how Vince Gill's songs were structured differently than most of the other country artists at the time. Your studied analysis's of forum songs is always insightful and fun to read. I always look forward to them.
Thanks for listening.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Josie (Sundance):Thanks for listening and commenting.
Gibson: Yes, it's sad and senseless. Thanks for stopping by.
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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JosieC: Joanne, I'm privileged to have the opportunity to participate. As you are aware, I've uploaded a new version with a competent singer so the song may have some benefit to you.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Herb: Thanks for your comments and offer to help with the vocals. I decided the best repair would be to replace the vocals and so I rounded up a friend and hopefully made the song more presentable. You have a great ear and your comments are always spot on.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Floyd: Thanks for your gracious comments. I really appreciate them. I've updated the song, turning up the resonator guitar and replaced my vocals with another singer. I posted the link under the original link up in my first post.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Tommy: Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you liked the song. I have turned up the dobro and also changed the intro as you suggested. The SC mp3 upload ended up with a minor artifact somehow but does not appear in the WAV file. Not sure where that went wrong but it still sounds better than the hard panned version.
I also changed the lyric line as you suggested and it flows much better. Thanks for your suggestions and continued support of my songs here on the forum.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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