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I re-mixed this write from a year or so ago, had a co-writer a few years ago that I've never met, she lives across the pond(as they say). I had sort of an innocent crush on her, she is a great writer of lyrics. I think I woke one morning and thought I'm gonna make her a character in my next song and I thought well who is she, answer..she's a painter of dreams. I hope you enjoy, I very much appreciate your listen and comments, any critiques are welcome, if I think it's a good idea I'm always ready for a re-write or re-record (got to keep busy at it). I'm proud of the bridge, I love writing bridge parts. Anyway thanks for listening. https://soundcloud.com/kfl44/all-the-acesAll The Aces © K Leverett 012314 You’re a painter of dreams In tight designer jeans Tell me what do you see in me Maybe something that I could be My cards are all on the table With nothing up my sleeve And I’ve got no plans to fold If that’s what you believe There’s a light in your eyes Song from your heart It’s catchy and contagious And when you turn on the charm It’s a pure work of art And you hold all the aces Where do I fit on your canvas of white Will I be lost in the clouds and soon out of sight Well you’re more than the girl next door Maybe the one I’ve been looking for There’s a light in your eyes Song from your heart It’s catchy and contagious And when you turn on the charm It’s a pure work of art And you hold all the aces And if it’s only a dream Please don’t ever wake me And if it’s not what it seems Well I don’t want to know There’s a light in your eyes Song from your heart It’s catchy and contagious And when you turn on the charm It’s a pure work of art And you hold all the aces Deal me in
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Kenny,
this is almost a love song so maybe reduce the reverb (or even the top eq) on the lead vocals to make it more intimate. The vocal itself is good.
nice oohs!
nice song and I like the harmonic type sound at the end.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Alyn
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Kenny, I like the stuff you are doing - always a lot to like. The production/instrumentation on this is good. I'll throw in with Alyn on the reverb and/or hi EQ - a "darker" vocal sound would work better on this. I don't often get into the lyrics here - but I will here (there's always a but isn't there? - and maybe that needs another t  ) because I like your writing... "My cards are all on the table With nothing up my sleeve And I’ve got no plans to fold If that’s what you believe" The third line of this pulls the rest of it down - making it sound cliché. You don't need to "card reference" (meaning "fold") - even though your title is "All The Aces" (cool title) - ALL THE ACES stands on its own and doesn't need to be explained. I would suggest (and that is all it is) that you change "With" to "There's" so that "There's nothing up my sleeve" is a separate thought from "My cards are on the table". Both of those lines can be considered cliché but used in context are not - I think they work here - A strong new thought in the 3rd line would transform this verse... Feel free to ignore all of this, of course... floyd
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It sounds you've got a noise gate on your vocal, because your vocal is abruptly cut at the end of each phrase. It wouldn't be as noticeable, except that it cuts the reverb as well. If you modified the chain so that reverb was applied last, that would probably take care of it. Since floyd has already broached the topic of lyrics (that's usually my impolitic faux pas) I'll just mention that I really like the "deal me in" idea, and I think it's would make a stronger idea to build the song around. Whenever I hear a word like contagious in a song, it immediately sets up a guessing game for me - will the writer go with outrageous, courageous or perhaps turn the pages? But when you sang "And you hold all the aces" I thought... Hrm... He's gone back to the card metaphor. But if she holds all the aces, he really should fold." Anyway, a bold word choice like " contagious" just begs for a strong response. You let me down, man!  I'm being really naughty here, so I may as well go all in and mention that designer jeans is one of those songwriting cliches that you probably should avoid like the plague. And while there are no real rules to songwriting other than "if it sounds good, it is good", asking my pea-sized brain to deal with with a card metaphor and a painting metaphor in one song is too much. I'm suddenly in fear that the next verse introduce another metaphor to keep track of... The first half of the chorus sounds a lot like Read 'Em and Weep (Jim Steinman, James Richard Steinman). I know that's the worst thing ever to say to a songwriter, so sorry. OK, I've been way too critical. I'll stand in the corner and give myself a time out. Did I remember to mention that I liked the song? I probably shouldn't have saved that until the end. 
Last edited by dcuny; 09/12/15 06:52 AM.
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Kenny,
this is almost a love song so maybe reduce the reverb (or even the top eq) on the lead vocals to make it more intimate. The vocal itself is good.
nice oohs!
nice song and I like the harmonic type sound at the end.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Alyn You are right on with your assessment, I recorded the vocal about a year ago and wasn't usuing the best methods at the time. I believe I recorded reverb and compression from a source with the vocal because when trying to remix, I killed all other reverb and tried to "dry out" the vocal. It just needs to be re-recorded. Thanks for your input and kind words. Kenny
Last edited by 44kfl; 09/12/15 07:15 AM.
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Hi Kenny,
I like this song very much. I agree with others
to take a bit of the brightness out of the vocals.
Guenter
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Kenny, I like the stuff you are doing - always a lot to like. The production/instrumentation on this is good. I'll throw in with Alyn on the reverb and/or hi EQ - a "darker" vocal sound would work better on this. I don't often get into the lyrics here - but I will here (there's always a but isn't there? - and maybe that needs another t ) because I like your writing... "My cards are all on the table With nothing up my sleeve And I’ve got no plans to fold If that’s what you believe" The third line of this pulls the rest of it down - making it sound cliché. You don't need to "card reference" (meaning "fold") - even though your title is "All The Aces" (cool title) - ALL THE ACES stands on its own and doesn't need to be explained. I would suggest (and that is all it is) that you change "With" to "There's" so that "There's nothing up my sleeve" is a separate thought from "My cards are on the table". Both of those lines can be considered cliché but used in context are not - I think they work here - A strong new thought in the 3rd line would transform this verse... Feel free to ignore all of this, of course... floyd Man, I almost wrote in my notes that the song was full of card cliches!, honest. I really appreciate your input. I guess I posted it so someone would tell me to get off my arse and redo it better. I don't remember writing it except for the inspiration and I'm sure that I didn't bother to critic it much being happy that I filled in the parts and got to the meat of the song (bad excuse). A strong new thought on the third line, very good advice (take a sad song and make it better). I appreciate this, it's better than just trashing the song and saying it was failed effort. I should've had you for my co-writer. Thanks for the listen and kind words. Kenny
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It sounds you've got a noise gate on your vocal, because your vocal is abruptly cut at the end of each phrase. It wouldn't be as noticeable, except that it cuts the reverb as well. If you modified the chain so that reverb was applied last, that would probably take care of it. Since floyd has already broached the topic of lyrics (that's usually my impolitic faux pas) I'll just mention that I really like the "deal me in" idea, and I think it's would make a stronger idea to build the song around. Whenever I hear a word like contagious in a song, it immediately sets up a guessing game for me - will the writer go with outrageous, courageous or perhaps turn the pages? But when you sang "And you hold all the aces" I thought... Hrm... He's gone back to the card metaphor. But if she holds all the aces, he really should fold." Anyway, a bold word choice like " contagious" just begs for a strong response. You let me down, man! I'm being really naughty here, so I may as well go all in and mention that designer jeans is one of those songwriting cliches that you probably should avoid like the plague. And while there are no real rules to songwriting other than "if it sounds good, it is good", asking my pea-sized brain to deal with with a card metaphor and a painting metaphor in one song is too much. I'm suddenly in fear that the next verse introduce another metaphor to keep track of... The first half of the chorus sounds a lot like Read 'Em and Weep (Jim Steinman, James Richard Steinman). I know that's the worst thing ever to say to a songwriter, so sorry. OK, I've been way too critical. I'll stand in the corner and give myself a time out. Did I remember to mention that I liked the song? I probably shouldn't have saved that until the end. Thanks so much for weighing in, I really like that you have a good ear for sound and for lyrics. The vocal clearly needs to be re-recorded, see some of the responses above, I've learned better recording technics as I go along. Whoever thought that we'd become our own engineers and producers at home? I certainly started from scratch. Sorry I let you down with the rhyme for contagious ( I was almost too embarrassed to sing that). I don't like perfect rhyme if I can avoid it (does that make me a snob?) too many times I listen to someone's song and think that they forced a line into the song just to get a nice rhyme. I usually write out all my lines to get the story and then notice that I have no rhymes, then go looking for family or near rhymes. This was definetly an if it feels good go with it song, trying to write a modern day country pop drug store cowboy song (there's a title!). I value your input very much my friend, no time out necessary. (PS, I'm holding a straight flush, so I ain't afraid o no aces) Thanks, Kenny
Last edited by 44kfl; 09/13/15 05:16 PM.
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Hi Kenny,
I like this song very much. I agree with others
to take a bit of the brightness out of the vocals.
Guenter Thanks for the kind words, you're right on the vocals. Kenny
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Wonderful song!!! Love the writing, love the arrangement. I agree with the others that the vocal treatment clashes with it-first thing I thought when the vocal started. The track has like an "I can't tell you why" vibe and the vocal is not warm and intimate. Absolutely great song! Take care. Greg
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I'm with Greg that you have a wonderful song, arrangement and I'll add you have a great musical bed as well.
I'm with Floyd and David regarding the lyrics. Contagious was the first thing to stand out as being out of place to me as you used it in the song and the lyrics seemed overly cliched in places. I will add that I also felt the lyrics were unsettled between your love interest's persona; being an artist in some instances and a card player elsewhere. You introduce your love interest as a painter in verse one to you being a card player in verse two and then in the chorus, she's a work of art that holds all the aces. I suggest if you rewrite some of the other suggestions you tighten the relationship into more of the card game analogy and drop the painting artist because you never really develop that angle of her personality.
This is a very good song and well worth your time and effort to tighten it up.
Charlie
Last edited by c_fogle; 09/12/15 01:17 PM.
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Wonderful song!!! Love the writing, love the arrangement. I agree with the others that the vocal treatment clashes with it-first thing I thought when the vocal started. The track has like an "I can't tell you why" vibe and the vocal is not warm and intimate. Absolutely great song! Take care. Greg Thanks Greg, you've given me some new ideas. Kenny
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I'm with Greg that you have a wonderful song, arrangement and I'll add you have a great musical bed as well.
I'm with Floyd and David regarding the lyrics. Contagious was the first thing to stand out as being out of place to me as you used it in the song and the lyrics seemed overly cliched in places. I will add that I also felt the lyrics were unsettled between your love interest's persona; being an artist in some instances and a card player elsewhere. You introduce your love interest as a painter in verse one to you being a card player in verse two and then in the chorus, she's a work of art that holds all the aces. I suggest if you rewrite some of the other suggestions you tighten the relationship into more of the card game analogy and drop the painting artist because you never really develop that angle of her personality.
This is a very good song and well worth your time and effort to tighten it up.
Charlie Well said Charlie, all good ideas and solid points. This song was begging for a re-write, guess I just wanted someone to verify that for me. Thanks, Kenny
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Kenny,
I won't add to the advice already given... which has been very good. Just wanted to say that you've got a good song that with a little polish could be an excellent one.
Keep up the good work!
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Nice work on the write.
Production nits seemed to bring it down.
Got to agree with others on the vox. The vocals don't even sound like they are a part of the same song. EQ is wrong, reverb is heavy and it kinda has a track doubling sound to it as well. It would work well on a John Lennon cover song but not in an intimate love song. Forget all the little tricks and gimmicks...just record a straight up vocal, sing close to the mic with a pop filter and only use a slight low cut (high pass) on the EQ. Keep the verb low.
I also heard the "gate" dcuny mentioned. Gates serve a useful purpose, but 98% of the time are not needed in studio environments. In this song, it is quite obvious the vox are either gated or poorly edited with envelopes. Since it's on the vocals, and you really need to record the vocal track again..... whatever you did there, don't do it the next time round.
I use a "process audio>mute" function in some of my songs... because yes, in a studio, with a hot condenser mic, you will get quite a few undesirable sounds into the track.... lip smacks, studio sounds, cars outside, the dog barking..... so it is acceptable to "clean up" the silence in the vocal track, but be sure you are not killing the reverb tails and other important things.
How I do this.... FYI: I leave the tracks 100% dry. No FX at all. I send the vocal tracks to a vocal buss and that is where the reverb and whatever else I have for processing is located. This allows me to cut off sharply in the track but since the reverb is in the buss, the tails live on. Dry tracks allow me to do other things in the tracks and apply it without printing permanently any EQ or reverb in the track.
All in all, a good song. I'd suggest taking the time to redo the vocal track and post it again.
edit: dang me.... forgot the last one...literally. Edit the drum track to stop in the correct place. It played a measure past where it should have ended.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 09/14/15 02:27 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hi Kenny, nice song and production. Agree with the "excess" or reverb, otherwise, nicely done.
Mike B.
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Kenny,
this is almost a love song so maybe reduce the reverb (or even the top eq) on the lead vocals to make it more intimate. The vocal itself is good.
nice oohs!
nice song and I like the harmonic type sound at the end.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Alyn I agree with the above comments. Keep up the good work. Rob
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Really easy to listen to. The lyrics are very well done. The mix and melody and the harmonies all work nicely. Overall you'd be pretty happy.
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After reading all of the above and listening
I certainly agree that it is a strong song
lyrically and vocally and well deserving of a
new vocal production.
Like that bridge!!
J&B
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Kenny,
I won't add to the advice already given... which has been very good. Just wanted to say that you've got a good song that with a little polish could be an excellent one.
Keep up the good work! Thanks Curt, I appreciate your listen and taking the time to comment. Kenny
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