Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
You need to be logged in to post on the forum
Topic Options
Index
#414590 - 05/22/17 03:48 AM [Songwriting] Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote?
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Just wondering what your favorite and most interesting rhyme is in one of your original writes. I've seen some pretty good ones on the user forum.

My favorite was a song I wrote about 10 years ago. The song was titled "Aunt Edna's Operation" and the rhyme I really enjoyed was "hysterectomy and Schenectady". Here are the lines:

She would need an operation
A hysterectomy
So they sent her to a specialist
Up in Schenectady

Looking forward to reading yours!

Alan

PS: I'D PREFER WE KEEP THIS THREAD IN REFERENCE TO ORIGINAL SONGS THAT "YOU" HAVE WRITTEN. A FEW FOLKS MENTIONED COVER SONGS. THAT'S COOL, TOO. BUT LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT FOCUSED ON YOUR ORIGINALS. THANKS.


Edited by Al-David (05/24/17 01:32 PM)
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414600 - 05/22/17 05:09 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 4417
Loc: South Carolina
Mine is neither a favorite nor interesting rhyme but more of a songwriting technique.

I sing this throw away verse over musical ideas I'm developing. Also, the written words will nearly universally fit into any love song, and have I have used portions or the whole verse in more than one song.

The verse fits in 3/4 or 4/4 time and what I call the cadence of the vocal sounds fits to how I sound words. Using these throw away words allow me to mentally separate music and lyrical ideas when I'm writing.

The verse:

Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
It has to be true love
That's all it can be

Charlie
_________________________
BiaB Ultra Pak 2018:RB 2018 Build 5; Windows 7 64 bit AMD Athlon IIX2 215 Dual-core processor; 500GB hard drive; 4GB DDR3 Memory.

Top
#414604 - 05/22/17 05:14 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 5661
I like the rhymes that work well without being the obvious choice a listener is expecting.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music

Top
#414649 - 05/22/17 09:32 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
jford Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 10430
Loc: Pensacola, Florida
Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".

Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose

El Paso / big hassle / his castle

Texas / facts is / justice / taxes

slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today

_________________________
John

HP Win10Pro-64, 8GB
ASUS Win10Pro-64, 16GB
HP Win7Pro-64, 8GB

H/W-Behringer U-Phoria UMC404HD, Casio Kbds
S/W-BB/RB2018/Sonar/Reaper/Studio One/Samplitude/MixBus/Notion/Finale/Noteworthy/NI Komplete/Halion/Garritan/IK
Web-http://www.sus4chord.com

Top
#414719 - 05/22/17 06:10 PM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
sslechta Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/27/13
Posts: 1195
Loc: St. Louis, MO. USA
Love that song and it's lyrics. Thanks for sharing John.
_________________________


Steve

BIAB/RB 2018, Pro Tools 2018, Korg N5, Proteus F/X, JBL LSR 4328 Powered Monitors, AKG/Shure Mics.
PC: 1 TB SSD, 2 TB HD, 128 GB Memory

Top
#414744 - 05/22/17 10:08 PM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
VideoTrack Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 8109
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Not one that I wrote, but Hal David's lyrics to "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" always intrigued me. Genius lyric writing:

L.A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down and buy a car
In a week, maybe two, they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years. How quick they pass
And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas

Fame and fortune is a magnet
It can pull you far away from home
With a dream in your heart you're never alone
Dreams turn into dust and blow away
And there you are without a friend
You pack your car and ride away...
_________________________

BIAB, RB 2018(Audiophile), Sonar Platinum, Izotope Prod. Bundle, Roland RD-1000, Synthogy Ivory, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, KorgX3R, RodeNGT2, AM802mixer, NS40M Studio Monitors, Pioneer Active Mons, AKG K271 Studio H'phones

Top
#414793 - 05/23/17 08:44 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
Mine is neither a favorite nor interesting rhyme but more of a songwriting technique.

I sing this throw away verse over musical ideas I'm developing. Also, the written words will nearly universally fit into any love song, and have I have used portions or the whole verse in more than one song.

The verse fits in 3/4 or 4/4 time and what I call the cadence of the vocal sounds fits to how I sound words. Using these throw away words allow me to mentally separate music and lyrical ideas when I'm writing.

The verse:

Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
It has to be true love
That's all it can be

That's pretty interesting, Charlie! Thanks for the input!

Charlie


_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414794 - 05/23/17 08:45 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Guitarhacker]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
I like the rhymes that work well without being the obvious choice a listener is expecting.


Herb,

Nothing to argue with there. I love a great surprise, especially when it involves music! Thanks for chiming in.
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414795 - 05/23/17 08:46 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: jford]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: jford
Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".

Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose

El Paso / big hassle / his castle

Texas / facts is / justice / taxes

slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today



John,

Thanks for the reminder on that song - had totally forgotten about it. Appreciate the input.
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414797 - 05/23/17 08:48 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: VideoTrack]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
Not one that I wrote, but Hal David's lyrics to "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" always intrigued me. Genius lyric writing:

L.A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down and buy a car
In a week, maybe two, they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years. How quick they pass
And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas

Fame and fortune is a magnet
It can pull you far away from home
With a dream in your heart you're never alone
Dreams turn into dust and blow away
And there you are without a friend
You pack your car and ride away...




Hi Trevor,

Yep, that's a cool lyric. That was a popular song when I was in high school. By the way, Hal David & I aren't related. But, I would exchange bank accounts with him! Thanks for dropping in with your input.
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414799 - 05/23/17 08:56 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
A couple of folks offered their favorites by other artists. Here's one of mine ......

It's the first verse of Moe Bandy's song, "Too Old To Die Young":

If life is like a candle bright, death must be the wind
You can close your window tight and it still comes flowing in
So I will climb the highest hill and watch the rising sun
And I pray that I don't feel the chill till I'm too old to die young


Edited by Al-David (05/23/17 08:57 AM)
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414808 - 05/23/17 09:14 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 10963
Loc: Hamlin NY
Originally Posted By: Al-David
Originally Posted By: jford
Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".

Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose

El Paso / big hassle / his castle

Texas / facts is / justice / taxes

slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today



John,

Thanks for the reminder on that song - had totally forgotten about it. Appreciate the input.


You forgot because "time keeps on drifting drifting into the future".
_________________________
The only exercise I did this month was run out of money!

64 bit Win 10 Pro - the latest BiaB and RB - Roland Octa-Capture audio interface - a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#414810 - 05/23/17 09:21 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 10963
Loc: Hamlin NY
I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

and from Hello In There

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"
_________________________
The only exercise I did this month was run out of money!

64 bit Win 10 Pro - the latest BiaB and RB - Roland Octa-Capture audio interface - a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#414902 - 05/24/17 04:03 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: MarioD]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: MarioD
I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

and from Hello In There

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"


Mario,

Those are excellent! Being that I'm 70 years old, I kinda like that last one best. I'm not one of those people but I know many folks in my age group who are. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion! Best to you,

Alan
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414903 - 05/24/17 05:00 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 5661
I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes?
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music

Top
#414910 - 05/24/17 06:19 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 10963
Loc: Hamlin NY
Originally Posted By: Al-David
Originally Posted By: MarioD
I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

and from Hello In There

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"


Mario,

Those are excellent! Being that I'm 70 years old, I kinda like that last one best. I'm not one of those people but I know many folks in my age group who are. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion! Best to you,

Alan


Alan, I'm 71 and like you I am not one of those people but again alike you I know a few who are like in the song. Hello In There has been one of my favorites since the day it was released.
_________________________
The only exercise I did this month was run out of money!

64 bit Win 10 Pro - the latest BiaB and RB - Roland Octa-Capture audio interface - a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#414911 - 05/24/17 06:20 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Guitarhacker]
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 10963
Loc: Hamlin NY
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes?


Yes Herb you are right. I was just following the rest, my bad.
_________________________
The only exercise I did this month was run out of money!

64 bit Win 10 Pro - the latest BiaB and RB - Roland Octa-Capture audio interface - a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#414919 - 05/24/17 08:05 AM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Al-David]
chulaivet1966 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 01/10/13
Posts: 580
Loc: West coast
I'd suspect very diverse submissions with this topic.

I wrote a song called "I'm Ready" a few years ago.
Just a song about my take of how one deals with life in general.
Took me a while to get the lyrics to my satisfaction.
I always liked how the following lines came together:

Last two lines verse 1:
Comes a time to decide when to fight or give in.
Be advised, such is life and you sink or you swim.

First two lines verse 2:
Best defense is a mind that's thinkin' ahead.
A wise man said know your enemies better than friends.

Back to it.....
_________________________
www.soundclick.com/wayneevansproject
Respect to those that have served honorably.
Military bio/pics:
http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/member.php?78446-chulaivet1966

Top
#414952 - 05/24/17 12:55 PM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: Guitarhacker]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes?


Herb,

You are correct - that was the original intent. I'd prefer to keep it that way but a few folks went the other direction. I think I'll go back to the original post and edit it to make that more emphatic. Thanks!

Alan
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
#414953 - 05/24/17 12:56 PM [Songwriting] Re: Your Favorite or Most Interesting Lyric Rhyme In A Song You Wrote? [Re: chulaivet1966]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: chulaivet1966
I'd suspect very diverse submissions with this topic.

I wrote a song called "I'm Ready" a few years ago.
Just a song about my take of how one deals with life in general.
Took me a while to get the lyrics to my satisfaction.
I always liked how the following lines came together:

Last two lines verse 1:
Comes a time to decide when to fight or give in.
Be advised, such is life and you sink or you swim.

First two lines verse 2:
Best defense is a mind that's thinkin' ahead.
A wise man said know your enemies better than friends.

Back to it.....



Howdy!

Really cool lines! I'm particularly fond of the last couplet. That's some real nice writing! Thanks for joining in!

ALan
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus/all Style*Paks Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT2035 Mic*Peavey Nash 112 Amp*Ibanez AR420 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  Andrew - PG Music, PeterGannon 
PG Music News
Video - Downloading and Installing RealTracks Sets for Band-in-a-Box® for Mac

Have you purchased your Band-in-a-Box® package, and want to make sure you're downloading and installing the RealTracks Sets correctly?

Well, we've created just the tutorial video you're looking for! Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac® - Downloading and Installing RealTracks Sets.

Video link:
www.pgmusic.com/?vid=QndXu8H_IwM

Thoughts on Band-in-a-Box® 2017 - Mac Power Users Discussion

David Sparks and Katie Floyd discuss a variety of topics in their recent episide of Mac Power Users: https://www.relay.fm/mpu/432 - listen all the way through (and laugh along with them - it was a very entertaining episode!), or jump to 1:37:40 where David shares his thoughts on Band-in-a-Box® 2017 for Mac!

Thank you David and Katie!

Polish New Features Video for Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Windows

Our Polish Distributor, Sound Station, has finished their Band-in-a-Box 2018 New Features summary video (in Polish!) - click here to watch.

We hope all our Polish Band-in-a-Box users find this video helpful - thank you Sound Station!

YouTube Find - Love it (with Band-in-a-Box 2018)

YouTube channel EmtpyHallToones uploaded a video of their guitar performance using Band-in-a-Box backing tracks!

Click here to watch.

Get to Know the 202 NEW RealTracks Released with Band-in-a-Box® 2018!

We released 202 NEW RealTracks with Band-in-a-Box® 2018! Learn more about these new RealTracks when you watch our video, Band-in-a-Box® 2018 - 202 NEW RealTracks.

These new RealTracks (in Sets 278-300) are included in every Band-in-a-Box® 2018 UltraPAK, Audiophile Edition, or the PlusPAK upgrade - the Mac packages are on sale until June 30th!

Learn even more about the new RealTracks and listen to demos here.

Vocal "Oohs" and "Aahs" RealTracks Tutorial Video for Mac

With Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac®, we've introduced Vocal "Oohs" and "Aahs" RealTracks. This video shows you the different ways you can use these versatile new RealTracks.

Video link: www.pgmusic.com/?vid=zkO-AtAPv4g

You can also listen to demos of RealTracks Set 278: Shiny Vocal Oohs & Aahs here.

This RealTracks Set is available for just $29, and is also included in RealPAK 14: Country, and the Band-in-a-Box® UltraPAK, Audiophile, or 2018 PlusPAK Upgrade.

Video RealTracks for Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac - Special Pricing Until June 30th!

With the recent Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac release, we also released Video RealTracks Sets!

Video RealTracks allow you to see the RealTracks artist playing that track - you can use them just like any other RealTrack, and you can generate a video which will display the musician playing your song exactly as you hear it. You can also include a chord sheet or notation in the video.

We've added Video RealTracks Set 1: Pop Ballad Band to our Free Bonus PAK included in Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac packages during our release special (which ends June 30th!).
Video RealTracks Set 2: Country TrainBeat Band is included in the 2018 49-PAK, along with 40 Bonus UNRELEASED RealTracks, 22 MIDI SuperTracks, 101 Instrumental Studies, and Artist Performance Set 8: Traditional Songs Sung by Béatrix Méthé.

SPECIAL OFFER: During our Band-in-a-Box® 2018 for Mac release special, purchase our "Video RealTracks Set 3-6 Special Bundle Offer" to complete your purchase with the remaining Video RealTracks Sets for the low price of just $49! Learn more.

Learn more about the new Video RealTracks and see them in action: http://www.pgmusic.com/?vid=fzkX6jO_hW4

Forum Stats
27614 Members
50 Forums
52212 Topics
432113 Posts

Max Online: 2434 @ 11/14/17 12:37 AM
Newest Members
Cipher, BillyP, fleahead, Dolph, annzpdas01

27614 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
Icelander 190
Noel96 167
David Snyder 148
Janice & Bud 137
Pipeline 111
Deryk - PG Music 106
rsdean 104
eddie1261 - gone 99
Scott C 97
cliftond 90
Today's Birthdays
paulgermana