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https://soundcloud.com/belladonna-amaya/playin-with-fools-goldTitle: Playing with Fool’s Gold by Donna J Evans Verse 1 A sunny daisy on a hot July day Born with a silver chisel to carve her way A high roller of the rich and famous world A sparkling diamond called the golden girl She loved a man heir of a cursed dynasty A sculptress determined to mold their destiny Thought she could tame his wild escapades But she headed down a dark highway Chorus Dreams burn like a fire Fleeting passions and desires In the end what’s remembered Is cold ashes and cinders From playin’ with fool's gold Verse 2 She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day Heartbroken depression is all they would say Drinking and drugs stole her youth's season A wasted life seemingly without reason Demons torment souls with shallow visions The breaking point leaves only scattered pieces A woman not strong enough to rise above A man whose heart’s devoid of love Chorus Bridge For those blinded by glitter Fruit on vines quickly wither In this life all that matters Is the gold dust you scatter @ copyright 10/15/17
Last edited by Belladonna; 10/16/17 02:55 PM.
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Hi Donna. Your production chops are coming along nicely, A very interesting write. You have the vocal levels right on this one. The harmonies are very nice. Keep them coming.
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
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Really great lyrics! Keep 'em coming as Joanna says!
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Hi Donna,
Nice! Good to hear you. If I may, one suggestion on the lyric:
At the beginning of the second verse, you say: "She ended her life on a grey wintry day" Might I suggest: "She chose the angels on a grey wintry day"
the remainder of the verse makes it quite obvious she took her life. "She ended her life" is a wee bit stark for the beauty and grace of the rest of the lyric.
That's just my opinion and I could be way off. But, it's a thought that occured to me as I listened.
Very nice sing. Ya did good!
Alan
Last edited by Al-David; 10/16/17 02:36 PM.
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Thanks for the nice comment Joanna. Your help was so instrumental in me being here at this point.
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Thanks for comment. I will keep trying.
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Thanks Alan. Yes, I think you may be on to something here. I just thought "She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day". I do like that.
Last edited by Belladonna; 10/16/17 02:54 PM.
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Hello Donna, very interesting lyric content! You obviously spent time in deep thought developing them! I have a feeling we will be hearing much more from you as you get more and more familiar with BIAB! Good work! Thanks, Torrey
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Hi Donna. Your production chops are coming along nicely, A very interesting write. You have the vocal levels right on this one. The harmonies are very nice. Keep them coming. my impression as well. Enjoyed my listen. Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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I enjoyed this deeply considered song - there are some great lines in the sad story! I`m glad you are finding support for your BiaB journey and that you are sharing your work here.
Robert
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Thanks Robert and special thanks to Joanne Cooper who got me here.
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Thanks Alan. Yes, I think you may be on to something here. I just thought "She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day". I do like that. I like it, too! Much better than my suggestion. Whatever path you take with this, good luck. Alan
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Thanks Robert and special thanks to Joanne Cooper who got me here. My pleasure Donna. Glad to help!
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
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Very cool lyric Well done
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Thanks Scott. Looking forward to seeing everyone's work here.
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Belladonna,
Nicely done. A good story song. The harmonies are nice. The simple production is effective.
fj
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Dreams burn like a fire Fleeting passions and desires In the end what’s remembered Is cold ashes and cinders From playin’ with fool's gold
Killer Chorus!
very strong writing
enjoyed the listen,
Kenny
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I don't think I've seen your posts on the forum much yet! In-case I haven't welcomed you yet, welcome Belladonna! I am really curious about the story behind this one, if there is one, as the lyrics are quite poetic.
Thanks for the share!
Cheers, Ember
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I enjoyed this deeply considered song - there are some great lines in the sad story! I`m glad you are finding support for your BiaB journey and that you are sharing your work here.
Robert We agree with Robert, and we are very curious about your future songs! Well done. Rob & Anne-Marie
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Dear Ms. "Belladonna"...
If that was your voice I heard singing the lyrics to "Playin' With Fool's Gold", I would say it was the best thing about the song, aside from the beautifully introspective lyrics.
Such densely-woven poetry needs a clear, unaffectedly emotive singing voice to draw a listener into its layered mysteries. Your voice possesses those qualities.
In my opinion, the best written lyrics always have a "beating heart", a line or two of words that capture, crystallize and project the essence, or the truth of what the lyrics "are about":
"A woman not strong enough to rise above A man whose heart’s devoid of love"
That surely could be the clearest description of what the essential problem is in male/female relationships, generally speaking.
LOREN
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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Hi Bella. This works well. Thanks for listing. Rob
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Some very cool writing here!! Great images-very moving. I would try to have a bit more of a motif in the verse music. Also, I think the vocal has too much reverb-a little soupy. Nicely done song!! Take care. Greg
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