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#433717 10/16/17 06:24 AM
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https://soundcloud.com/belladonna-amaya/playin-with-fools-gold

Title: Playing with Fool’s Gold by Donna J Evans
Verse 1
A sunny daisy on a hot July day
Born with a silver chisel to carve her way
A high roller of the rich and famous world
A sparkling diamond called the golden girl
She loved a man heir of a cursed dynasty
A sculptress determined to mold their destiny
Thought she could tame his wild escapades
But she headed down a dark highway

Chorus
Dreams burn like a fire
Fleeting passions and desires
In the end what’s remembered
Is cold ashes and cinders
From playin’ with fool's gold

Verse 2
She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day
Heartbroken depression is all they would say
Drinking and drugs stole her youth's season
A wasted life seemingly without reason
Demons torment souls with shallow visions
The breaking point leaves only scattered pieces
A woman not strong enough to rise above
A man whose heart’s devoid of love

Chorus
Bridge
For those blinded by glitter
Fruit on vines quickly wither
In this life all that matters
Is the gold dust you scatter

@ copyright 10/15/17


Last edited by Belladonna; 10/16/17 02:55 PM.
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Hi Donna.
Your production chops are coming along nicely, A very interesting write. You have the vocal levels right on this one. The harmonies are very nice. Keep them coming.


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Really great lyrics!

Keep 'em coming as Joanna says!

smile

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Hi Donna,

Nice! Good to hear you. If I may, one suggestion on the lyric:

At the beginning of the second verse, you say: "She ended her life on a grey wintry day"
Might I suggest: "She chose the angels on a grey wintry day"

the remainder of the verse makes it quite obvious she took her life. "She ended her life" is a wee bit stark for the beauty and grace of the rest of the lyric.

That's just my opinion and I could be way off. But, it's a thought that occured to me as I listened.

Very nice sing. Ya did good!

Alan

Last edited by Al-David; 10/16/17 02:36 PM.

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Thanks for the nice comment Joanna. Your help was so instrumental in me being here at this point.

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Thanks for comment. I will keep trying.

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Thanks Alan. Yes, I think you may be on to something here. I just thought "She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day". I do like that.

Last edited by Belladonna; 10/16/17 02:54 PM.
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Hello Donna, very interesting lyric content! You obviously spent time in deep thought developing them! I have a feeling we will be hearing much more from you as you get more and more familiar with BIAB! Good work! Thanks, Torrey




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Originally Posted By: JoanneCooper
Hi Donna.
Your production chops are coming along nicely, A very interesting write. You have the vocal levels right on this one. The harmonies are very nice. Keep them coming.


my impression as well. Enjoyed my listen.

Charlie


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I enjoyed this deeply considered song - there are some great lines in the sad story!
I`m glad you are finding support for your BiaB journey and that you are sharing your work here.

Robert

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Thanks Torrey.

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Thanks Charlie.

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Thanks Robert and special thanks to Joanne Cooper who got me here.

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Originally Posted By: Belladonna
Thanks Alan. Yes, I think you may be on to something here. I just thought "She was consoled by angels on a gray wintry day". I do like that.


I like it, too! Much better than my suggestion. Whatever path you take with this, good luck.

Alan


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Originally Posted By: Belladonna
Thanks Robert and special thanks to Joanne Cooper who got me here.


My pleasure Donna. Glad to help!


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Very cool lyric Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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Thanks Scott. Looking forward to seeing everyone's work here.

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Belladonna,

Nicely done. A good story song. The harmonies are nice. The simple production is effective.

fj

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Thanks everyone.

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Dreams burn like a fire
Fleeting passions and desires
In the end what’s remembered
Is cold ashes and cinders
From playin’ with fool's gold

Killer Chorus!

very strong writing

enjoyed the listen,

Kenny

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