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#456838 - 02/10/18 01:52 PM [User Showcase] The Day That I Won't Love You
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
The Day That I Won't Love You


A Work In progress - looking for constructive feedback. Thanks!

I attempted to write a lyric and music in the style of early Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller - simple, a bit sappy, cute love song. They wrote most of Elvis' early songs and a few of his later songs.The lead guitar was as close as I could get to Scotty Moore, Elvis' guitar player back then.
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Setting: June, 1956 - Memphis, Tennessee - Sun Records & Recording Studio

Sam Phillips (Studio owner): "I listened to your demo. And, well son, you ain't no Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis or Carl Perkins. And you damn sure ain't no Roy Orbison."

Me: "Really?"

Sam Phillips (frowning): "Uh, yes, really."

Me: "Dang! I guess Mama was fibbing to me all this time!"

Sam Phillips: "Not to fret, son. I got something to help ya, if you can be helped."

Me: "Oh yeah, what's that?"

Sam Phillips: "It's called reverb and echo. And I got lots of it."

Me (excited): "So, let's do it."

Sam Phillips: "The guitar picker ain't as good as Scotty Moore, but he's okay. And against their better judgement, a Jordanaires impersonation group agreed to do some backup singing for ya. Follow me."

Sam Phillips (muttering and shaking his head as I follow him into the studio): "Hope I got enough reverb for this guy - he's gonna need it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: The Day That I Won’t Love You

Style is ELVIS1.STY (Elvis1 - 50s Rock Shuffle-Blues), Key is F, Tempo is 145
Style MIDI Instruments are : Acoustic String Bass (33), Acoustic Piano (1),

RealTracks in song: 1015:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm BluesRockCrispSteady Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 2975:Vocal Oohs-Aahs, Rhythm Pop3-part Ev 085
RealTracks in song: ~960:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryBoogieMuted Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 2496:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockabillySwingBrent Sw 165
RealDrums in Song: NewOrleansShuffle^03-a:Snare , b:Flat Tire Hat, Shuffle


The Day That I Won’t Love You
© 2018 Alan D. David, BMI

(v1)
I’ve loved you since the day we met
Not a single day goes by
That I don’t know what a treasure you are
And I’m the world’s luckiest guy

(v2)
My love is strong, never ending
Forever and always be true
And when the clouds don’t float in the sky
That’s the day that I won’t love you

CHORUS
When the stars don’t twinkle and shine
And the moon don’t light up the night
The day the mountains don’t reach for the sky
And a baby’s not a beautiful sight
The day the birds don’t sing in the trees
And one plus one ain’t two
When the sea don’t rush to the shore
That’s the day that I won’t love you

Instrumental Break

(v3)
You’re the perfect woman for me
I’ll never be in denial
I love the sparkle in your baby blue eyes
You’re the reason I always smile

(v4)
My love’s as true as the air we breathe
And as sure as the sky is blue
When birds no longer take to the sky
That’s the day that I won’t love you

Repeat Chorus

Musical Outro



Edited by Al-David (02/10/18 02:19 PM)
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#456853 - 02/10/18 03:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
bluage Offline
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Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 444
Loc: Washington State
Dear Mr. David...

"Sappy"? Naw. "Cute"? Why sure smile !!! And, I'll add to that, danceable, singable, lovable, innocent, sweet, nostalgic, and...well, I think you get what I'm getting at, don't you?

If heartfelt lyrics that celebrate the power of truly committed love could be regarded as "sappy", well, then "sappy" will just have to become the new word for that rare(?) kind of love.

The RealTracks selections put you right out there on the hardwood dance floor -- the high school's gym, where the reverb would be a natural consequence of the size of that space.

It's great that folks at Band-in-a-Box included those absolutely gorgeous "Ooo-s" and "Ahhh-s", ain't it? In the case of "The Day That I Won't Love You", they transport the listener (if she/he is old enough laugh ), right back into 50's era you sought to emulate.

I think you succeeded in your attempt to recreate a time in the history of American music, Mr. David. Where you gonna take us next, musically speaking?

All ears,

LOREN


Edited by bluage (02/10/18 03:45 PM)
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#456861 - 02/10/18 04:15 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Robertkc Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 1482
Al,

One again you are very good at fitting BiaB into a period sound.
Really fun lyrics - warm with a bit of cuteness that fits the style perfectly.
Backing and oohs sound authentic though I`m no expert on that. Songs back then were usually a bit shorter?
A keeper `til the next opportunity for rockabilly submissions!

Robert

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#457005 - 02/11/18 11:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
jannesan Offline
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Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 763
Loc: Finland
Really nice to hear this kind of authentic rockabilly song smile Very catchy and happy mood. I can imagine a school dancing event, energetic band is playing and oohs&aahs truly sound like school girls - your voice fits very well among them wink and well mixed giving a good live sound.

Janne

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#457007 - 02/11/18 11:50 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
David Snyder Offline
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Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 3740
Loc: North Carolina

Sing it Elvis!!

Nice one.

smile
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#457031 - 02/11/18 12:49 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Torrey Bliss Offline
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Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 1466
Loc: Missouri
Alan, I think you did a great job capturing some of Sam Phillips early sound here! The master eq on this sounds close to my ears! Thanks, Torrey
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#457066 - 02/11/18 02:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Sergio Guarneri Offline
Expert

Registered: 10/13/14
Posts: 1566
Loc: Cremona-Italy

Great sound by you as usual; it invites me to dance.
It seems to listen to a 50's radio; authentic rockabilly atmosphere.

Sergio
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#457099 - 02/11/18 06:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Scott C Online   content
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 3214
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Loved this Alan Well done. Super vocal. Guitar was excellent
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#457143 - 02/12/18 06:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
BlueAttitude Offline
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 1389
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Nice job on this, Alan! You captured that Sun Records vibe well I think.
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#457144 - 02/12/18 06:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 5891
Loc: Florida
Alan,

Great job of capturing the era sound.

The write has the simplicity of the era. The BGVs work well. The guitar sounds authentic!

A fun listen. (and your introduction is a fun read).

fj
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#457170 - 02/12/18 11:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 1146
Very well done, Alan smile Sappy as it may be - it shows a firm understanding of songwriting, and is the perfect level of catchiness. I love the groove and your vocal performance here. It's hard not to feel cheerful and tap your feet while listening to this.

Great work, and thanks for sharing!
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#457242 - 02/12/18 09:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Sundance Offline
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4136
What a fun feel good top tappin' little ditty! I thought it was great. I wasn't even expecting that! You sounded like you were having so much fun and I totally enjoyed it too!
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#457248 - 02/12/18 10:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
RichMac Offline
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Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1646
Loc: New Zealand
Hi Alan,

Great lively band you've got there.
Smooth vocal takes me back a long way in the style of early Elvis.
Still enjoy Lieber and Stoller's songs. Kitschy and catchy.
Good job. Most enjoyable.

Cheers.
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#457258 - 02/13/18 02:02 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
rsdean Offline
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 3191
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Alan,

Great sound! I really enjoyed that.

Bob
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#457311 - 02/13/18 07:18 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Al-David]
Janice & Bud Offline
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 5764
Loc: GA USA
What they all said above!

We love rockabilly and you did a fine job with this presentation.

Channeling your Elvis, eh? You can convincingly cover a lot genres!

J&B

PS As an upright player I (Bud) would love to hear some slap bass on this! Just sayin' smile
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#457335 - 02/13/18 09:52 AM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: David Snyder]
Ian Ferrin Offline
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Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 80
Loc: Suburban Stucco Tract House - ...
Cool tune.

I like the 50s reverb on the vocal.

I don't like the EQ on the vocal.

I'd really suggest playing around with the eq in the 2k to 5k range on your voice. Some vocal articulations are completely lost.

Other than that, it sounds great. Good tune.

Peace,

Ian
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#457372 - 02/13/18 12:10 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: bluage]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: bluage
Dear Mr. David...

"Sappy"? Naw. "Cute"? Why sure smile !!! And, I'll add to that, danceable, singable, lovable, innocent, sweet, nostalgic, and...well, I think you get what I'm getting at, don't you?

If heartfelt lyrics that celebrate the power of truly committed love could be regarded as "sappy", well, then "sappy" will just have to become the new word for that rare(?) kind of love.

The RealTracks selections put you right out there on the hardwood dance floor -- the high school's gym, where the reverb would be a natural consequence of the size of that space.

It's great that folks at Band-in-a-Box included those absolutely gorgeous "Ooo-s" and "Ahhh-s", ain't it? In the case of "The Day That I Won't Love You", they transport the listener (if she/he is old enough laugh ), right back into 50's era you sought to emulate.

I think you succeeded in your attempt to recreate a time in the history of American music, Mr. David. Where you gonna take us next, musically speaking?

All ears,

LOREN



Hi Loren.

Thanks so much for all those great comments - loved it! I'm delighted it sounded convincing to you. And yeah, those oohs and ahhs are fabtastic - love them!

Thanks again.

Alan


PS: As far as what's in store for my next period song - I'm working on a Bob Seger-type song from the 80s. Hope to post it it within a couple of days. I'm trying to catch the sound of the various generations of music - it's just a challenge I bestowed upon myself.


Edited by Al-David (02/13/18 12:17 PM)
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#457373 - 02/13/18 12:11 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: Robertkc]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Al,

One again you are very good at fitting BiaB into a period sound.
Really fun lyrics - warm with a bit of cuteness that fits the style perfectly.
Backing and oohs sound authentic though I`m no expert on that. Songs back then were usually a bit shorter?
A keeper `til the next opportunity for rockabilly submissions!

Robert



Hi Robert,

I always enjoy hearing from you. Thank you for that kindness. I work really hard at getting an original sound for period-dated stuff. Thanks for the encouragement with those very nice comments. Thanks again!

Alan
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#457374 - 02/13/18 12:13 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: jannesan]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: jannesan
Really nice to hear this kind of authentic rockabilly song smile Very catchy and happy mood. I can imagine a school dancing event, energetic band is playing and oohs&aahs truly sound like school girls - your voice fits very well among them wink and well mixed giving a good live sound.

Janne


Hi Jannbe,

Thanks for the time to listen and for the really nice words. Thanks for everything - much appreciated!

Alan
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#457376 - 02/13/18 12:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: The Day That I Won't Love You [Re: David Snyder]
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 2805
Loc: Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Sing it Elvis!!

Nice one.

smile


Hi David,

Elvis has left the building but Alan is still here! Best to you,

Alan
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