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Hello, forum friends

This tune is paired with the song I posted last time which is “老いらく(Translation: Golden Years)”
( http://www.pgmusic.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=463271#Post463271 )
The theme of the last song is that an ex-lover comes back home one day.
On the contrary, the theme of this tune is that a present lover elopes with some one.
It is sung from the position of a woman who goes away.
Lylics written by me.
Any comments encouraged.
Always welcome.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

Title: 駆け落ち(Translation: Elopement)

Vocal: Yoko K., my friend

Link:
https://soundcloud.com/animarorecords/elopement

Style is _SJAZZC3.STY
RealTracks in style: ~903:Bass, Electric, SmoothCool Sw16 100
RealTracks in style: ~906:Piano, Electric, Rhythm SmoothCool Sw16 100
RealTracks in style: 1229:Guitar, Electric, Soloist SmoothJazzCool Sw16 100
RealDrums: RealDrums in Style: SmoothJazzCoolSw16^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride
Additional 4 part strings (EastWest Symphonic Orchestra),
Scored by me.

Summary of lyrics:

I will go away from here within tonight
But you are asleep without being aware of it
I can hardly tell you the truth
I don’t want to see you get hurt

It is not a lie that I had loved you truly
I was worried and hesitated many times
Please do not mind me and don’t search me
I have made up my mind and it will not be changed

We were very happy, weren’t we?
But I will not be able to come back anymore
Though I remember we had many good times
In those days since we met for the first time

There is a guy outside who are waiting for me
Sorry, goodbye, I have to go soon
I'd like to apologize to you to leave without notice
I can’t say anything but that now

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I think this is a really good start to a mix for a great song.
At the moment the mix is crowded and the song doesn't seem to know which way it wants to go.
The strings are too dominant in parts and their style is counter to the smooth jazz. You also cut them too abruptly when they go.
The passages without strings really works well as the elements belong together and have a good balance.
On 2nd listen it's the combination of strings & vocal that cause the most claustrophobia for me.
Reducing the strings volume and giving them some more reverb might seat them better and allow the vocals to flow. Similarly reducing or dropping the guitar solo bits when the strings are pumping may help.
I like the string arrangements but not necessarily where they sit.
Lots of great ideas and a cool song just not quite "together" at present.


Cheers
rayc
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I think this going to be a very cool song Shigeki. Excellent vocal and sax is very cool


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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Shigeki, very nice work my friend! Sophisticated and classy all the way! Your vocalist did an exceptionally good job on this! You seem to surround yourself with some very talented people! Thanks, Torrey




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Shigeki,

A very nice sophisticated tone - nicely sung by your friend and expertly orchestrated.
A really excellent composition.

Peter

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This is very cool. I love the vibe. I actually enjoyed the arrangement with the guitar fills intertwined with the strings.

Last edited by quekou; 04/10/18 01:27 PM.
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Nicely done as always. Rob

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Shigeki Adachi,

As Peter said ..."A very nice sophisticated tone - nicely sung by your friend and expertly orchestrated.
A really excellent composition."

I agree totally. Yoko's vocal is nice. The strings are beautiful.

I enjoyed my listen.

floyd

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Excellent vocal, well put together. As usual, the strings are a stellar.

I have some minor quibbles with the mix - for example, the volume of the guitar competes with the vocal in some places. But they're minor, and other people would probably disagree with me. smile

Nicely done, and great singing.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Hi, Shigeki !


Wonderful tune and performance !
Everything sound just great !

Cheers
Dani

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Another really great delivery, with a smooth vibrant feel, complemented by excellent strings, guitar and absolutely everything, all wrapped up in a perfect mix, complemented by Yoko's perfect vocal delivery.

Always a pleasure to listen to your songs, Shigeki.


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I don't think there is anything I could say that hasn't been mentioned already - this tune is vibrant, sophisticated, compelling to listen to, and the vocal performance is absolutely perfect. The mix you have on this is incredibly well balances as well!

Keep up the great work, and thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
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Very nice melody and beautiful chord progression. Excellent vocals and the band works really well with your string arrangement.

Janne


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Hello, rayc

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and comment.
I much appreciate your careful listen and detailed analysis of this tune.
I am very encouraged by your nice words.
Since the same melody is repeated four times, I devised the accompaniments so that the listeners would not get bored.
But on the strings, my arrangement may have been overproduction.
As you said, the accompaniments compete with the vocal in some places.
I would like to take advantage of your comments for the future production.
Thank you again for your precious opinion.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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Loved the pace of this, and the orchestration..lovely vocal...my only suggestion would be to simplify the arrangement in the beginning, then bring up the beautiful strings and very nice soloing as the track develops..great song!!

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Shigeki,
I enjoy hearing Yoko sing very much ( and wish I could speak Japanese as the "goodbye"theme is interesting in translation).
There`s a lot going on in the mix, but everything works for me.
A very sophisticated production.

Robert

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Thanks for sharing this with us! Love the harmonies and the progression of chords! Always love the music you release. Cheers!


Cheers,
Joe
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Hello, Scott

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and comment.
I am always very encouraged by your nice words.
I am really glad you like this tune and my vocalist.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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Hello, Torrey

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and comment.
I am always very encouraged by your nice words.
I am really glad you like this tune and my vocalist.
Vocalist first anyway.
So, I am always trying to find a vocalist in our music circle, at local jazz club, at karaoke bar and etc.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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Hello, Peter

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and comment.
I am always very encouraged by your nice words.
I am really glad you like my vocalist and orchestration.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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