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#486174 08/16/18 01:08 PM
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Another new one. As usual, haven't quite been able to get a handle on backing vocals yet, if any. Thanks for listening.

BRING ME DOWN TO THE WATER
(c)2018 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/bring-me-down-to-the-water

INTRO
VERSE 1

Bring me down to the water
Hold my head down 'til the water turns to black
Wash away my transgressions
Cleanse my soul and my stone cold heart
Please erase the bad memories
Lead the way to a brand new start
Before my world is ripped apart

VERSE 2
I was born in the badlands
Trained by the belt and a cold steel fist
I learned to take what I wanted
Kill or be killed was my guiding creed
There was no God there to save me
Just a will and an urge to deceive
And a hunger i had to feed

CHORUS
They don't offer absolution
For a hardened man like me
I've spent far too many years
Inside a penitentiary
I wish that I felt something
I wish that I would care
They can lead me to the water
They can lead me to that chair

INSTRUMENTAL
VERSE 3

It was a searing day in August
I stood lookout at the Black Hills Bank
A man in blue came upon me
"Hands in the air," he yelled and shots rang out
I watched him bleed out on the sidewalk
Now my freedom is in doubt
"Go to hell," his widow shouts

VERSE 4
It's certain hell is where I'm going
I meet Old Sparky in just one week's time
So bring me down to the water
Immerse my body let me free my mind
I'm not seeking absolution
Just repentance for my crimes
Bring me now there's not much time

CHORUS
OUTRO


The Band:

Style - _CROK125.STY: Classic Rock w/Held 12 String
Key - BM
BPM - 120

Bass - 366, Electric, Country Ev 065
Organ - 686, B3, Background Pop Ev120
Drums - Real Drums-NashvilleEven16^1=a Sidekick, HiHat, b Snare, Ride
Guitar - 1002, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm Classic RockA-B Ev16 065
I had a mandolin solo track and mando rhythm track which I rendered then lost. I don't recall the names of the files.

Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/16/18 01:39 PM.
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David,

This is first rate.

From the moment you started singing I was a captive of the lyrics. Your storytelling and the way you presented it is fantastic. The groove and the instruments you chose to frame your words and drive your song were perfect.

I found verse 1 really powerful. You vividly set the scene for what was to unfold.

Quote:
Bring me down to the water
Hold my head down 'til the water turns to black
Wash away my transgressions
Cleanse my soul and my stone cold heart
Please erase the bad memories
Lead the way to a brand new start
Before my world is ripped apart


That X X X A X A A rhyme scheme truly is a brilliant choice for having the lyrics gallop forward with energy, power and momentum. To my ears, the pièce de ré·sis·tance was that last line. I did not anticipate it's rhyme and it left me hanging there, waiting for more. For me, you created the same effect with rhyme as what musicians do when they use what's called an interrupted cadence.

From start to finish I was in the grip of your music and your singing.

Wow!

All the best,
Noel



MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Liked a lot.


------------------------------------------
My music: https://soundcloud.com/ermar-gamar
My stuff: Stratocaster '89, PRS SE Santana, Digitech RP90 Multi Effect, Vocalist Live 3, Digital Piano Korg SP, Studio One 3.5, Presonus Audiobox, BB 2018
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Originally Posted By: Noel96
David,

This is first rate.

From the moment you started singing I was a captive of the lyrics. Your storytelling and the way you presented it is fantastic. The groove and the instruments you chose to frame your words and drive your song were perfect.

I found verse 1 really powerful. You vividly set the scene for what was to unfold.

Quote:
Bring me down to the water
Hold my head down 'til the water turns to black
Wash away my transgressions
Cleanse my soul and my stone cold heart
Please erase the bad memories
Lead the way to a brand new start
Before my world is ripped apart


That X X X A X A A rhyme scheme truly is a brilliant choice for having the lyrics gallop forward with energy, power and momentum. To my ears, the pièce de ré·sis·tance was that last line. I did not anticipate it's rhyme and it left me hanging there, waiting for more. For me, you created the same effect with rhyme as what musicians do when they use what's called an interrupted cadence.

From start to finish I was in the grip of your music and your singing.

Wow!

All the best,
Noel



Thx so much for the listen and comments Noel. I really appreciate your time and thoughts.

Dave

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Wow - I thoroughly enjoyed this. It reminds me of stuff by the Highwaymen back in the 80's. I'm loving the lyrics here, and your delivery of them is perfectly sincere. The groove is fantastic too, and the production is nice and crisp. I wouldn't bat an eyelash hearing this on the radio.

Great work and thanks for sharing smile


Cheers,
Deryk
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Wow. Awesome. A movie in a song!!

Great job.

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I was born in the badlands
Trained by the belt and a cold steel fist

I love this line, expresses so much about Father/son relationship

to me the lyrics have a toughness like Springsteen or Isbell might write

love the mandolin, sounds great and fits well

great storytelling and singing

enjoyed

Kenny

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Originally Posted By: EMG
Liked a lot.


Thx much for giving this a spin EMG.

Dave

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Well done! The change at the bridge really got my attention. The mandolin break was unexpected, and very cool. Loved the stop at "...to the chair".

Now my freedom is in doubt

Perhaps a bit of an understatement? wink

Very enjoyable!


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Dave,

A cool, dark story. The song has a terrific pace.

Very nice production and a good mix.

As David noted - the stop at the end is really nice...

You are putting the BAND to good use!

fj

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Originally Posted By: Deryk - PG Music
Wow - I thoroughly enjoyed this. It reminds me of stuff by the Highwaymen back in the 80's. I'm loving the lyrics here, and your delivery of them is perfectly sincere. The groove is fantastic too, and the production is nice and crisp. I wouldn't bat an eyelash hearing this on the radio.

Great work and thanks for sharing smile


Thanks for listening and commenting Derek. Much appreciated.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Wow. Awesome. A movie in a song!!

Great job.


Thx for giving it a listen David. Much appreciated.

Dave

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Dave,

Very dramatic story,well told, sung and produced.
Noel already highlighted the first verse which is terrific ( and in some ways as much the centre of the song as the chorus).
Excellent!

Robert

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Originally Posted By: 44kfl

I was born in the badlands
Trained by the belt and a cold steel fist

I love this line, expresses so much about Father/son relationship

to me the lyrics have a toughness like Springsteen or Isbell might write

love the mandolin, sounds great and fits well

great storytelling and singing

enjoyed

Kenny


Thank you Kenny. Springsteen has been my favorite musical artist since I was a kid. So anytime his name is mentioned, it is much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to give this a listen.

Dave

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Hi David,

This is a most fascinating song.
We like every part of it. The music (also the "nameless" mandolins :D), your vocals, the lyrics.
It immediately captivated us.
Great song!

Rob and Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Well done! The change at the bridge really got my attention. The mandolin break was unexpected, and very cool. Loved the stop at "...to the chair".

Now my freedom is in doubt

Perhaps a bit of an understatement? wink

Very enjoyable!


An understatement indeed. Thank you very much for the listen and comments. They are greatly appreciated.

Dave

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Man, what a great song!

One of the best songs I have ever heard on this site actually, excellent write and performance.

Well done!

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+1 on what Noel said. Very cool vocal. Super backtrack. The picking on the acoustic was really cool. Well done..


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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WOW this is a great story and well as a great mix, vocal and lyrics.

Your groove is super.

I really liked this!


Me, it's not about how many times you fail, it's about how many times you get back up.
Cop, that's not how field sobriety tests work.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hi, David !:))

Echoeing what others have already
said this is phenomenal in every
aspect ! I´m in awe yes I am !

Congrats to this masterpiece of yours !

Cheers
Dani

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Dave,

This is so strong—so much going on here that works so well. The first verse is exceptional, the melody to the verses is near perfect. If I were to nit-pick, in that second verse the “kill or be killed” line doesn’t quite resonate--maybe a bit too harsh-- nor “urge to deceive”—but’s that’s just my take. It may be an opportunity to tweak, or not. Use or lose.

The chorus is solid; lyrically killer and the phrasing is sweet. That said, it didn’t quite strike me as a chorus musically. Not sure how to express it, but it didn’t take me “up”. Kinda felt more like a bridge.

All that aside, this is a very impressive use of BIAB. Love the intro and the leads throughout—very crisp; really nice sound. You're killing in that regard.

Sweet tune, Dave—enjoyed it.

All the best,

Deej

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Dave,

A cool, dark story. The song has a terrific pace.

Very nice production and a good mix.

As David noted - the stop at the end is really nice...

You are putting the BAND to good use!

fj


Thank you Floyd,

I appreciate the listen and your help finding my way around

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Dave,

Very dramatic story,well told, sung and produced.
Noel already highlighted the first verse which is terrific ( and in some ways as much the centre of the song as the chorus).
Excellent!

Robert


Thank you very much Robert. I appreciate the listen and the comments.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Hi David,

This is a most fascinating song.
We like every part of it. The music (also the "nameless" mandolins :D), your vocals, the lyrics.
It immediately captivated us.
Great song!

Rob and Anne-Marie


Thank you for the listen and comments Rob and Ann-Marie. They are greatly appreciated.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Man, what a great song!

One of the best songs I have ever heard on this site actually, excellent write and performance.

Well done!


Thank you much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated I am glad you enjoyed it.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Scott C
+1 on what Noel said. Very cool vocal. Super backtrack. The picking on the acoustic was really cool. Well done..


Thank you much Scott. I appreciate you giving this a listen and commenting.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: MarioD
WOW this is a great story and well as a great mix, vocal and lyrics.

Your groove is super.

I really liked this!


Thx much Mario. I appreciate you giving this a spin!

Dave

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Yes, a really fine story (very heavy) told in a gripping fashion!! Great emotion, prosody, and the perfect arrangement and tempo to drive it. Excellent job Moz!! Take care. Greg

P.S. It reminds me a bit of the boss's Tom Joad CD which I imagine you know judging by your handle.

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Originally Posted By: dani48
Hi, David !:))

Echoeing what others have already
said this is phenomenal in every
aspect ! I´m in awe yes I am !

Congrats to this masterpiece of yours !

Cheers
Dani


Thank you much Dani for the listen and oomments they are greatly appreciated.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Yes, a really fine story (very heavy) told in a gripping fashion!! Great emotion, prosody, and the perfect arrangement and tempo to drive it. Excellent job Moz!! Take care. Greg

P.S. It reminds me a bit of the boss's Tom Joad CD which I imagine you know judging by your handle.


Greg,

As you may have guessed from my screen name, Springsteen is my musical idol. ghost of Tom Joad is a classic in my book. Thx for the listen and comments. Much appreciated.

Dave

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It's interesting that Deryk mentioned the Highway Men. It does have that feel...a good thing. But we like you vocals better!

"I was born in the badlands
Trained by the belt and a cold steel fist"

And the write is obviously very dark but so well done.

The mellow mandolin makes for an effective contrast with the ominous tone.

And the production and the soundstage set by it sounds excellent on our monitors.

J&B

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