I hope I can do this justice. Probably had to be there . . .

I had a full-time gig doing sound for a band whose repertoire was 90% original. They had over a thousand songs of their own. One was called "The Clockwatcher's Waltz," about the nine-to-five grind. They did it as robots or, more to the point, like figures on an elaborate Swiss clock. Very mechanical.

Picture the scene. This was a house gig and they had a loyal following who were intimately familiar with their act. They had done a kids' show in the afternoon, so the low ceiling over the stage was full of helium-filled balloons. They also used a lot of hats in the act, grabbing whatever was handy. This time the lead guitarist happened to put on a Mickey Mouse beanie with ears.

Okay. They start the number. The guitarist decides he wants to pop one of the balloons with the cut end of a string on his Strat, so he starts shuffling around while doing robot shtick. The balloon moves. He goes after it, jabbing at it in slow motion. Of course, all of his gestures are in time with the music. The balloon keeps moving and he follows it around the stage. The other players have to move out of his way, all moving like robots in time with the music.

All of this is done completely deadpan on the part of the band--to a point. The guitarist can't get the balloon to burst, so he chases it for the duration of the number. The house, of course, including me, is on the floor.

I'd give a lot to have video of that moment. I have never seen or heard an audience in complete meltdown like that outside of a straight-ahead comedy act. I don't even remember whether he popped the balloon or not. It took the band about 10 minutes to get it together enough to attempt the next number. There was no way you could follow that. They and the house kept breaking into giggles for the rest of the set.

"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."