Hi msFrancis,

Welcome to the user showcase!

I liked your use of the RTs. Also liked your melody and production. Lyrically I liked the "mind says we are through...heart runs after you" and also the fantasy and reality. I liked the visual of the picture on the pillow. You have a good sense of melodic structure as Noel mentioned.

I agree with Kevin - too long. You might can get away with 4 mins. Country is the hardest genre to write. For the non artist the Nashville bar is higher than most people imagine and the number of successful writers competing for a few cuts is staggering.

Imo, you won't learn to craft tight Nashville lyrics from any peer to peer group - they are good for feedback and nice communities. It's good to belong to a few. But new and inexperienced writers can get confused with only feedback espeically from peers who haven't bothered to study the craft. If you are serious about writing country it's wise to learn from the pros so you can evaluate feedback from peers knowing what rings true.

Nashville lyrics have concrete expectations and specific criteria. Read books, take courses, attend seminars, etc. Spend as much time as you do writing on learning - especially at first. Many people make the mistake of believing the more you write the better you'll get. Imo, this is not true until you are writing while practicing specific craft you've learned.

Hope that helps you.

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