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I REALLY appreciate the good feedback from you, Noel and Kevin. Your opinions make me want to work harder. It makes me look at the song as an outsider and in a different light. I am in the process of shortening the song and trying to tighten the story line. I hope you, Noel and Kevin will listen to the re-write and give me another critique.



I'll try and listen again to the next version. Two other things to consider during the re-do:

1.) All of your instruments seem to start right away and play all the way through. Look for ways to drop instruments in and out more to make it more varied sonically.

2.) Remove, as best you can, the vibrato on your voice on most of those phrase ending notes. It is fine sometimes, but when you do it every time, it becomes a little a distracting. Overall, your voice is just fine for work tapes like this.

Kevin

Now at bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh @ bandcamp or soundcloud: Kevin @ soundcloud