Something About The Way She Smiled

Hi everyone and I hope you are all enjoying this festive season! Here’s a song I’ve been working on lately called ‘Something About The way She Smiled’. Again I have composed the song using Band in a Box and I finished it off in Cakewalk.
The Style I am using is _DIRE_FS.STY
My RealTracks include:
Bass 521
Guitar 1 406
Drums NashvilleEven8^1-a
Guitar 2 510
Piano 1264
Vocal Oohs 3064
Guitar 3 511

The Vocal Harmonies were generated from my Audio singing in the main Window by way of:
• Harmony then Audio Harmony.
• I choose Harmonize based on Chords with Band in a Box Intelligent Mode.
• Harmony Voices I choose 3
• Voices Above I choose 3
• Melody Double I choose Octave Down (8vb)
• Duet Voicing (3rds or 6ths) I choose 3rds
• This gave me three vocal harmonies on Utility tracks 1,2 and 3.

I used the same settings again but this time on Melody Double I choose Octave Up (8vb)
• This gave me another three vocal harmonies on Utility tracks 4,5 and 6.

I sang the vocal a good few times to try and make sure I had a good recording so I hope you will enjoy listening to it.
Regards,
Dermot Mc Mahon

Here is the link to my Song:

https://soundcloud.com/mail-15-5/something-about-the-way-she-smiled?si=d0890360be7b4c69a8098fec38f248a9&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Dermot,
I commented on your previous song but shan't on this as, to date, you've only commented on your own tracks.
Join the community, listen, comment and be a part of it.

Hi, Dermot.

I like the sound in general. You've got a nice voice, but the vocal sounds like it's been artificially doubled, so it's got this distracting phasing sound all throughout the song.

You didn't include the lyrics, so here's my best guess:

[VERSE 1]
It was on a Friday night that they met, downtown in the city
They fell in love
So they're married in New York in the springtime
And she looked so pretty
But as the years went by, their love began to die
So when the day arrived, she said goodbye

[CHORUS]
Something about the way she smiled, something about her
Just how could he doubt her
When she said goodbye he hung his head and cried

Ever since she went away, he tried to find her
Forever after, he always felt someday she might return

[VERSE 2]
She never got used to her new life out in the country
Her fondest dreams were out driving in the car with her friends
They loved to party
But he left her all alone
To be his very own
She smiled to hide the pain, as her tears were in vain

[REPEAT CHORUS]

[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO]

[VERSE 3]
She was longing to leave that old dark house way out in the country
City girl, she like Friday nights with friends in the heart, feeling so happy
Then at last the day arrived, when she felt that deep inside
She would have to go, but she'd hurt him so

[REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE]

You've got a knack for a pleasant melody, but it also feels like you're trying to cram way too many syllables into the lyric, and too much story into one short song.

For me, asking that trying to have the same chorus fit two different relationships the same person had was just asking too much. With all the pronouns, I wasn't even sure if you were telling the story of one person, or parallel stories of three different people.

But I'm just a guy on the internet, so what do I know?

Thanks for posting!

Hey Dermot.

Really good, catchy song and you've got a great voice that delivers it. I noticed an underwater sound to your vocal on both this song and your first post. Dave Cuny mentioned that it could be a doubler. Whatever is causing it, you need to look through the plugins on your vocal track and remove the culprit. Your songs will be so much better when you do this. As far as the lyrics, I don't think I had as much difficulty with them as Dave did, but I was confused as to who left whom. At first I thought the girl left, but later on it sounded like the guy was the one who left. A rewrite for clarity would be a good idea and the song is certainly good enough to be worth the time.

Ray mentioned commenting on others' posts. It is an unwritten part of this board. It can feel a little awkward at first, but it gets easier the more you do it and the more you get to know others here. There are some really good artists here and often commenting is as simple as paying a compliment. So just dive in. Good luck and have fun here!

Dermot...I sure like the style and tempo of this song...you have a really nice voice...it is a little cloudy in the mix though...the rest of my thoughts will line up with David's and TuneMonger's...so keep them coming and indulge in the forum community...great and helpful relationships here!
Dan

You’re right Rayc and I agree with you. I’m eager to engage more with the forum from now on because I know it contains a wealth of information and knowledge on Band in a Box etc. I’ll learn a lot from more experienced members who have great ideas on the proper ways to record tracks. I know I’m only missing out if I don’t participate more. Thanks for the advice as sometimes we forget the full picture,

Regards, Dermot

Thanks for that David. Yes the vocal is sounding a bit strange so I'll go back and try to improve it. I used a lot of Reverb and an Abbey Road Reel ADT plugin for vocal doubling and I need to try and correct it. You had some very interesting feedback on my lyrics which I appreciate and I must examine what you said. I think I try to cram too much into my lyrics..it's not always easy to get them to rhyme..ha.

Reply to Tune Monger,
Thanks so much for that. Yes as David mentioned the vocals are a bit distorted with too much doubling and reverb..I will try to sort that. I might have a look at the vocals again to see if I can improve the meaning. I mentioned to Rayc that I will engage more with the forum as it's such a brilliant resource ..sometimes we forget these obvious things.
Regards, Dermot

Reply to Firesong
Thanks so much for your encouragement. Yes the song's a bit cloudy in the mix..I'm going to try and fix it. Yes I must get more involved in the forum..it's a great resource.
Regards dermot

Dermot,

You are posting some great sounding tracks! I love the chorus on this one. It's got a very catchy smooth sound! Your vocals and background vocals are sounding really good here!

Thanks, T

Thanks a lot Torrey although I may clean up my vocal as I've put too much effects on it. I'm enjoying your music too! I know I'll learn a lot from others in the community.
Cheers Dermot

Very nice Dermot. I really like the mood of the song, the arrangements and your vocal. I agree that the processing sounds a little muddy, but it's obvious you've got a good voice and are using it well here.

Brad

Dermot,
Sweet, easy going tune. Solid composition. Nice lyrics and exceptional phrasing. Listens very well! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.

P.S. It seems, you might have uploaded a lower quality / compressed audio. If it was done intentionally, I fully understand., but if not, consider uploading 24bit WAVs to soundcloud, as some frequencies are lost if uploading compressed audio.

Super song

Outstanding lyrics, instrumentation, and mix

I agree with the vocal observations. You have a good voice so showcase it.

Also you might want to work on that ending

Great song

Dermot,
There`s an engaging, enjoyable lilt to this song which is well suited by the arrangement. You also sing well; yes,the lyrics are quite crowded in places, but your phrasing makes them work with the melody.
Lots of exceptionally talented folks here will lead you to improvement, so its good you are welcoming constructive comments.

Robert

Cool song Dermot. I like it.

Hi Dermat,

It's a very pleasant composition. For the analysis of the lyrics, I leave that to the specialists. For the mix, it could be interesting to broaden the orchestral spectrum. But for me personally I enjoyed your song.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash