Redneck Technology 101

So, I have a super-sensitive classical electric with both a built in mic and piezo and it hums like crazy when I use my Focusrite.

My luthier and I looked at everything under the sun, the guitar is wired and grounded perfectly. The luthier said:

“You have too many electronics in your room but basically your guitar hates your computer.”

Well, then.

Not to be deterred, I thought “What would Herb Hartley do?”

And then it struck me.

Wind some soldering iron onto a piece of speaker wire, coil it around a metal footrest, attach one end to the cable plug on the guitar, and then step on it.

I am sure Herb is one of the few who will appreciate my redneck genius, but I have to ask:

On a scale of 1 to 1,000 how high did I score on the redneck technology scale? (RTS.)

By the way, no more hum.

That’s a step in the right direction. You weren’t going to let this foil you, since you are well-grounded and have the right focus. Now you’re [not] humming along.

Well... a good start but where is the duck tape?

Billy

Just so yall know...

redneck engineering
The use of unorthodox methods and tools to build, modify or repair machinery, vehicles, etc, usually with little regard to finesse or technique.

Common tools include: sledgehammers, cutting torches, arc welders, come-alongs, jacks, porta-power kits, large prybars, sawzalls, lengths of pipe and 2 X 4s

So named for the stereotypical redneck who fixes things through brute force and duct tape.

Billy

This is the guy that started it all, this one, 1991. If any of you would like gull wing doors on your car, this is the way to go......

Ba da boom!

Matt!!!

Check...check...check...

Is this thing on??? Tap, tap, tap.

Make sure to tip your waitresses!!

Ah sweet!

Billy, can you send me a roll?

I saw the carton from Sam's in your living room when we were on our Zoom chat.

Also, do you still have a hole in the bottom of your bass boat or did you fix that yet??

I’ll be here all week.

I'd say that gits ya a RTS of at least 721, be a bit higher if ya used chicken wire instead a speaker wire



Terrible jokes, killing David's buzz


Red Green is a staple of Canadian humour and TV. I was fortunate enough to see him live a few years ago, great show!

All I wan to know is did it work?

You know it did!!



Finer than frog hair split four ways my friend.

Excellent. Duck tape it in place and you're good to go.