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I've just discovered Edgar Allan Poe recently ... what a poet :-) I just discovered THIS poem this morning, when trawling through love poems, online, for inspiration ... so here goes :-) Thanks for listening and for any feedback!!!

https://soundcloud.com/jamesdelsono/annabel-lee-on-a-poem-by-edgar-allan-poe


ANNABEL LEE
by Edgar Allan Poe
(public domain poem)

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

****** Song Summary *************
Title: Annabel Lee - by Edgar Allan Poe - 14 March 2020
File:Annabel Lee - by Edgar Allan Poe - 14 March 2020.SGU
Key=G , Tempo 75, Length (m:s)=3:24
No intro. 60 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 60. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Song is saved with bar changes for Key Signature,
Style is _HARTBRK.STY (Heartbreak Mellow Nashville Pop)

RealTracks in style: 3502:Bass, Electric, NashvilleRadioBalladA Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1839:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopModernGrooveA-B Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 3520:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Americana16thsDelayBrent Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1831:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopModernGrooveBrightA-B Ev16 075
RealDrums [in style:RockBritDrivingEv16^4-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Open HiHat

*******************

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Very creative treatment. Never really heard E. A. Poe
in quite that way before.


Link: www.soundcloud.com/ed_shaw (Feel Free to Use)
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I've only written it this morning ... in retrospect, on hearing it again, I have a sneaking suspicion I may have massacred poor Mr Poe's amazing poem. Still, I'll leave it here for two reasons:

a) to serve as a lesson for me not to hurry when posting a song up (do some due diligence on it first, haha); and

b) errare humanum est? ;-)

but thanks for listening :-)

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James,

A clever idea to use a Poe poem to create a song.

A personal opinion - I thought that an upbeat Country treatment did not really suit the poem's story/angst.

Your vocal has a fair amount of sibilance which detracts from the listen. In this case, that seems mostly "mic technique" - singing too close to the microphone, so it is picking up and accentuating every "CHTCH" and "ESSS". A pop screen might help.

Again, a clever idea...

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Yep - I butchered it ;-) Ah well :-)

I will invest into a pop screen asap!

Thanks floyd!!!

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Great idea, James, and a wonderful performance.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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You're very kind, Marty - thanks :-)

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I really like your melody but it does need you to inhabit a bit longer so you can sing it a little more certainty and perhaps develop it a little. Your performance is pretty good but it COULD be better with some time spent. I'd rate this as a really good draft/sketch of you thoughts on the day.
I've loved this poem since I was 1st introduced to it, actually in musical form, in 1973, (I was 16).

My wife HATES the above version though - we have rather different tastes.
Backing - well it survives most styles but flourishes in the dark - perhaps you could take the structure & progression and experiment with something darker like the Doom one.
It was part of a theatre/literature performance by a troupe that visited my school.
Stevie Nicks does a version of the poem too though I'm not fussed on hers - I prefer yours to her version.

My form fave is my introductory one...of course.

Last edited by rayc; 03/14/20 10:30 PM.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi Ray - thanks for your kind comments and videos!

With the melody, I need to either write it out properly, or at least have the chord sheet in front of me so as to feel comfortable with it. I did neither, this time (just sang it from memory), and it shows.

The first video is beautiful but rather dark, I felt. I know that the poem is supposed to be dark, etc., but I really enjoyed the major section once it arrived :-) Still ... a really atmospheric, strong performance ... just not really my vision of the poem, that's all ... but that's of course how it should be, we're all different and, so long as the interpretation works (which I feel it does), who am I to grumble? :-) Besides, yes, mine veers FAR too far to the major, upbeat side, so ...

The second video is ok, I guess, but leaves me kinda baffled - truth be told - and I much prefer the first video to the Stevie Nicks version.

Yes, mine is a "draft" ... I jumped the gun and published it on here before taking due diligence with it ... I don't usually do that, but I don't know what possessed me this time. Anyway, THANK YOU for all your comments and for taking the time to introduce me to these performances I knew nothing about! :-)

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Originally Posted By: musician17

The first video is beautiful but rather dark, I felt. I know that the poem is supposed to be dark, etc., but I really enjoyed the major section once it arrived :-) Still ... a really atmospheric, strong performance ...
The second video is ok, I guess, but leaves me kinda baffled - truth be told - and I much prefer the first video to the Stevie Nicks version.

You can imagine the impact of dark brooding carriage for a deathly poem on adolescents! It worked on this little black duck anyway. Impressions from that age stay with me. I threw in te SN one as contrast and becasue I can't see the sense in it either.


Cheers
rayc
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Oh yes, quite! Those were the days - and yes, that kind of dark stuff can be very impressive, especially at that age. I know because I went through a heck of a phase at that time with the works of Gustav Mahler, no less, haha. Now, I follow the advice of one of my favourite musicians: "darkness? sure; but in small doses, otherwise it's not healthy" :-) But that video is beautiful, too ... so all is good :-)

Some say I haven't grown up much either, and that I'm still - at heart - the impressionable young man I always was. I would personally disagree a little, but who knows? Either way, thanks for posting up those videos - the first one, as we both agree, was well worth hearing!

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Cool idea and assuredly a unique take on Poe.

Pop filters are cheap. And there are many vids available on home made ones.
They make a HUGE difference.

And the tune is interesting, creative and more than worth some tweaking!

J&B

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Thanks Janice and Bud :-) As I said above, not my finest hour as a songwriter (in retrospect, haha), but I want to "take the rough with the smooth", so to speak, because that's how we learn, I think - so I'm leaving the song up on here, if only as a warning as to what happens when one doesn't do due diligence on one's own songs before posting them ;-)

That said, yes, thanks :-) - I agree, it's worth working on. I don't like having this poem set to too dark a musical track ... simply because the poem's dark enough as it is - I don't want to put dark colours onto more dark colours, if that makes sense ... hence the major key, etc. SO - in short - THANK YOU for your really kind words ... I'll work on it :-)

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Nicely done - a really unique take on this poem. Very creative and the instrumentation actually works tremendously well. I wouldn't have thought to do something like this.

Thanks for sharing smile


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Deryk
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Thanks Deryk :-)

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I agree with rayc that this feels rough in places - from a very metered reading in most places to some rough spots where it feels you tried to fit in all the words instead of working it out ahead of time.

All in all, I liked it. smile

But I think it's worth having another go at to make corrections and improvements.


-- David Cuny
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Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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I like the idea and that you connect with the poem; some wonderful lines here:

And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

I found your voice rather than the style of music (I heard darker sounds!), held my attention.
Clearly you are able to take on board the opinions and advice from listeners and no doubt good things will come from putting your demo out there.

Robert

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Thanks David and Robert. It's obviously not my best song, so I'll come back to it when I feel really patient, haha. But thank you. I tried for the voice to be darker than the major key, the melody, etc. ... if I only had the voice of someone like Johnny Cash, perhaps, then it might have worked a little more? haha. Still ... I will indeed work on it ... it just doesn't feel like it's worth working on much at the moment, but I'll summon up the patience to clean it up, hopefully soon. Thanks!!!

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Excellent tune. Loved the lyric and backtrack


Scott Collingwood
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