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My Nashville pal Mackie sent me a lyric called "Third rate romance". I played with the lyric for a couple of days before I could come up with some sort of melody. The only big part of the lyric I changed was the title (unusual for me) :-). The lead guitar is meant to be a wistful reminder of that night. Vic https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/a-one-night-romanceA ONE NIGHT ROMANCE © 2021 Mackie Humphries & Vic Arnold I remember bright neon lights. Still hear those blues playin' through the night in Memphis where we met by chance, she had me thinkin' a lifelong dance She hooked me in with cat green eyes then led me on with jaded lies Had me believin’ by midnight she had found her Mister right. But ... CH All my friends knew she’d deceive In mornin’ light she’d up and ... leave but this cowboy's still ridin’ high A one night romance needs no goodbye BR I weren't the first. Won't be the last out of the shute a movin’ too fast GUITAR SOLO CH Even my friends knew she’d deceive In mornin’ light she’d up and leave One more cowboy still ridin’ high A one night romance needs no goodbye BR I’m not the first won’t be the last out of the shute a movin’ too fast CH Even my friends knew she’d deceive In mornin’ light she’d up and leave One more cowboy still ridin’ high A one night romance needs no goodbye Bass = 3584 Acoustic Guitars = 3716, 3758 Drums = Nashville radiopop Oohs = 3027 Electric Guitar = 3726
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Nice write, catchy chorus and good arrangement as well. A couple of nits to ignore. I know, it's bad form to suggest changes, especially when it wasn't requested. "I weren't the first" has a nice consonance between weren't and first, but it sort of sticks out. "Weren't the first. Ain't the last" doubles down on the colloquialism, but softens it a bit. On "All my friends knew she’d deceive", you're a bit soft on the /V/ in deceive, so I mis-heard the line as All my friends knew she did see. Yeah, my kids complain that I'm deaf, but it's mostly that I'm not paying attention to them. It sets up a storyline that seems to me as being needlessly complex: - The singer is out for the evening with a group of all his friends listening to blues music in Memphis.
- He meets a woman by chance, and they hit it off.
- All his friends are so concerned about her that they warn him she'll leave him
And it raises all sort of logistic questions for me, like: - Did the singer live in Memphis? If not, why are "all" his friends there?
- How did his friends form an opinion about this woman so quickly? Were they listening in on the conversation? Why did they all feel they needed to give their opinions?
- At what point did they all tell him she wasn't trustworthy? Did she have to go powder her nose or something?
I think something like "Though I wanted to believe" simplifies things a bit. As I said, they're just nits. If I write this much, it means I like the song, not the other way around. So feel free to ignore the comments and just know you've gotten me engaged in the song! Thanks for posting, I enjoyed the song!
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Vic, I like the catchy chorus, especially the "out of the chute" line and the country-rock arrangement fits the song . You deliver the story well, though listening on `phones I found the vocal almost too upfront if you get my drift- could be a mic placement thing or maybe the vocal needs to go back into the mix a little.
Robert
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Hi David. Food for thought.
"Weren't the first, Ain't the last". That sounds fine. I had another listen to the "deceive" and it sounds alright to me but the V in "leave" I think could be boosted.
Your questions about the story I think you provided reasonable answers for them yourself and there are others that could be used, such as: the singer and his friends were in a touring band and the girl was known to one or two or even more of them so I will leave that to the listener's interpretation. Mackie would probably have a different answer.
I am pleased that you were interested enough to raise those questions and thank you for listening and taking the time to comment.
Vic
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Thank you Robert. I do have a habit of placing my vocal way out front so you could be right there. I have a friend who tells me that's how she likes it but I'll go back to it tomorrow and see if I can adjust a little.
Vic
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Hi Vircan
Beautiful construction where the voice and the guitar are in perfect symbiosis. The arrangement is pleasant and the double voice on certain passages is well put. It's pleasant. I appreciated.
Kindly regard Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
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Excellent song. Loved the intro. Super vocal and lyric. Well done
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Hi Derochette. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Vic
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Your voice hit me first thing. Johnny Cash-like. The guitar solo reminds me of Brian May.
A top, top notch, hard-hitting production. Some say I'm easily pleased, but I tell you, I have nothing to criticise - so I have to be honest and call it as I see it. Top, top notch - bravo.
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Hi Vic A fine slice of country rock with an infectious chorus. (Probably a good call to change the title, to avoid confusion with the Amazing Rhythm Aces song of the same name.) Matter of preference, but personally I like where your vocal sits in the mix. Regards, Leon
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Thanks Musician17 for that very generous comment. Johnny Cash will is fine by me. I was a fan of his since a kid when I saw him on TV in 1959. I later got to meet him on a radio show.
Vic
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Thank you Scott. Good to hear that.
Vic
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Very strong opening with that acoustic and lead. And from there the lyrics, melody, vocals and harmony add to the strength. Excellent and dynamic arrangement. Very much enjoyed, Vic.
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Hi Leon. I'm glad you said "Country Rock" for the genre. It's what I called it but I'm not very good at deciding genres. Who invented genres anyway? :-)
Thanks for your comment.
Vic
Last edited by vicarn; 02/17/21 04:31 AM.
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Hi Marty. Thanks for that. I'm glad you liked the lead. It was mentioned on another forum that the lead didn't fit the genre. (whatever that may mean).
Vic
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Vic You did great with the lyrics and music!!!!!
I almost gave up trying to sign PG Music--I had purchased BIAB years ago and forgot my onfo--Had to use my 2nd location email: mackie22@comcast.net--This is my first time on this forum! There's a lot of activity on this one---A GOOD SHOWAND PERFORMANCE!
Mackie22
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Nice Vic. The word pleasant comes to mind.
No reason here to parse it all out.
We hear a nice laid back country rock ballad with an effective vocal, arrangement and write.
And the drums sound really good.
Enjoyed it!
J&B
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Hi Mackie. Glad you found your way back. This is a good site for good feedback.
The lyrics were 99.9% yours so thank you for letting me loose on them.
Vic
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Thank you J&B. I hope it's "pleasant" in a good way. I was a little confused by "parse" and had to look it up. Imagine that, all my years on this planet and i hadn't come across that word before. Now I'll be using it a lot. I may even write it into the next song. :-)
I appreciate your taking the time again to comment. Thanks again.
Vic
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Good song, I like your vocal and to my ears it's sitting just about where it should be in the mix.
Love the chorus!
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Convenient Ways to Listen to Band-in-a-Box® Songs Created by Program Users!
The User Showcase Forum is an excellent place to share your Band-in-a-Box® songs and listen to songs other program users are creating!
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