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The RPM folks can't wait for February it seems -- no really, they can't wait. So they have decided to do a film soundtrack (no movie, just the music). I was assigned the "Regret Sequence". OK, I went for my best " Ryan Bingham" imitation. Came close, but I forgot about having a varied melody -- oh well, can't do it all. Is it regretful enough? I left the click in for other vocalists to add oohs and ahhs. Oh well, here 'tis. Kevin ************************************ What If© Emmrich 2010(verse) I used to look at the flame in your eyes I thought it was a refection of love Now all I see is the cold gray dawn It’s because of things I have done (verse) What if I’d never left, would that light still be there would it warm my soul just by glancing? can we never go back, has time covered our tracks and our future is left only to chance (chorus) just another try, 'fore we say goodbye is that too much to ask Can you overcome, what I have done or am I left wondering "What If?"" (verse) if we visited our past and went down another path would it all turn out the same are we trapped in a cycle that repeats for all time the mistakes, the mis-steps and blame (chorus again) (bridge) Anthony and Cleopatra, Delilah and Sampson star crossed lovers it seems I thought we'd get there but I've cut off my hair I'm left with only memories to keep (chorus again and tag ending) Kevin: vocal, acoustic guitar BIAB: bass (777), drums (rock modern waltz ^1, changes to Jazz Brushes Waltz at bridge), piano (1188), acoustic guitars (854 and 823), fiddle (1179), pedal steel (1298)
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I don't know Ryan Bingham but I'll look him up. You do any excellent imitation of Kevin Emmerich though.  Cuz of my hearing I'm not going to comment on the mix per se but I will tread on sacred ground - the lyrics. One suggestion for the chorus - consider replacing "too much to ask" to "too much to wish" - that will make the chorus smoother with a closer rhyme for "what if." Good guitar work, Kevin. I think you've managed to reach "regretful" very well. Nice song. Ian
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Quote:
...One suggestion for the chorus - consider
replacing "too much to ask" to "too much to wish" - that will make the chorus smoother with
a closer rhyme for "what if." ...Ian
Ooh-ooh, good idea. I saw that "What If" hanging out there and I just felt there was no need to force a rhyme, if nothing was presenting itself. I don't know if I will change it to that or not, but I will definitely test it. Of course, I have some folks (well at least one) sending me some additional vocal parts. If they sing "ask", I might be stuck with it for awhile. All depends on their time frame, I guess.
Thanks for the visit.
Kevin
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Kevin, I enjoyed that - very nice job on this.
Bob
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Structure is pleasing without being dull.
Not easy these pieces in 3 4 so especially well done for getting the lyrics to fit so seamlessly.
A nice clear message conveyed by a strong well chosen lyric.
This is a very assured song Kevin and I enjoyed listening to it.
Marc
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Sounds to me like you hit your target.  A couple of worthless nits about lyrics: Anthony and Cleopatra should be (according to all-knowing Google) Antony and Cleopatra. I've got mixed feelings about using Delilah and Sampson. You're setting up the allusion for cutting hair, but Delilah well-known motivation wasn't love for Sampson, but money. And (perhaps ironically), cutting his hair was the only one of the Nazarite vows that Sampson didn't personally break - Delilah shaved him when he was asleep. But that's just minor stuff. Perhaps (but only "maybe perhaps") you might want to consider that there's very little that's sympathetic about the singer. You've got him taking all of the blame, and walking away. If you backed down the blame a bit, I think you'd have a bit more relating to the singer. For example, "It’s because of things I have done" could be a more confused "Though I don't know what I've done" where circumstances seem to have conspired against him, rather than him being a thoughtless jerk. Or just leave it exactly as it is. 
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Very nice mix. Great vocal. Thanks for sharing! I joined the FAWM as well. Have my pad and pen at the ready Ha, ha. My MusicRead My BlogMy Reverbnation
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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rsdean: Thanks for the listen. Marc: Thanks for giving it a spin and for the comments. Rule # 1 of songwriting: Don't Be Dull (ha, ha). David: Lot's of good tidbits in there! Thanks for the "Antony" thing -- I'll fix that. In this case he cut off his own hair (ha, ha). Supposedly Samson did love Delilah and the money offer came after they had known each other for awhile (I think). I know all about making the singer "look good". In this case I just didn't go in that direction. I realize that means that Nashville won't be knocking on my door for this one. Again, thanks for the thoughtful review. You were right on the money in your comments! pgfantastic: Thanks for stopping by. Good luck on the www.fawm.org thing. It is a blast. I am only lyrics this year, since I am concentrating on www.rpmchallenge.com Thanks to all that listened. Kevin
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Nice song Kevin! I really liked the acoustic guitar solo - you I assume? I felt that you became more at home with the 3/4 lyric phrasing as the song went on, and there was more verve in the second half. John
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