|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
The Girl with the Look in her Eyes https://soundcloud.com/andyandersonmusic/the-girl-with-the-look-in-her-eyes This is my favorite song to play. It's in drop-D and I visit 11 frets. For a month it was in standard tuning, 4/4, 5 chords, 1st position...then this tune and the notes came to me later somewhere between sleeping and waking up. Suggestions are welcomed. Seriously. I'm asking. (*The artwork is used by permission.) Thanks. Guitars – Me Bass – 1123 Acoustic CountryWaltz 140 Piano 1701 Acoustic, Rhythm CountryWaltz Sw 110 Piano 2494 Acoustic, HeldChords 120 RD NashvilleWaltsSW^1-Snare,Ride Fiddle 1125 Background CountryWaltz SW 110 THE GIRL WITH THE LOOK IN HER EYES It was a small barroom down where the rust and the rails lived in town It was easy to see on the barstool by me a face I recognized, it was The girl with the look in her eyes Bartender 2 shots of bourbon and a pitcher to wash them both down We dealt out our names, and 4 glasses came And the beer chased the whiskey and I chased The girl with the look in her eyes We fed some dimes to the jukebox and George Jones and Patsy Cline swallowed the room She touched the white band on my finger where the ring in my pocket should be Then held out for view, she wore the band too We danced till closing time, me and The girl with the look in her eyes A quiet motel on a dark street The hum of an old neon sign The pop of a lock on a door key Echoed as we lay inside And in the glow of a passed cigarette I ruined the mood and asked about the man "He’s just a guy who forgot what I’d take and would not" She left him… a hole about the size of The girl with the look in her eyes And what was done was done, what was said was said In the borrowed room, in the rented bed We buckled and buttoned in silence Lovers and strangers and a one night affair She fished in my pocket and pulled out the gold band Laughing she slipped the ring back on my hand "Maybe I’ll see you around where the rust and the rails live in town" And I said goodbye to The girl with the look in her eyes. Written and performed by Andy Anderson @ Copyrighted 2016 Reggie Records All rights reserved
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,558
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,558 |
Very cool lyric. Great story telling. Excellent vocal
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Andy,
I can see this working well in a small live setting as there`s a nice intimate feel to the way you unfold the story.
I really enjoyed the details in your lyrics and your vocals are very good.
Your guitar accompaniment sounds fine and imo the waltz style suits the song.
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,733
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,733 |
Great song, man. Love the arrangement, super mix!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thank you, guys. Really appreciate it. I've been tweaking that song for a year....and that includes today.... I wish the song were shorter; I could cut the little break in the middle, but it's kinda needed (a little unspoken tom-foolery at the motel).
You all know that feeling where there's so much you could say or play, or add chords/notes, but you have to make cuts somewhere. Part of the ongoing tweaks is BB reveals so much...plants little seeds here and there. Maybe you try a different instrument for the hell of it, and even if you don't like it, it might pop a little idea into you. What about this or that?
I like playing the song so much. The guitar is hidden a bit here, but in real-life/live it's all very flowing, and hits the whole spectrum. Lots of bass notes walking around, and triads. The only thing I added to guitar was doubling it (harmony) for the little outro. Live it sounds great for the song, but in a full band mix, the light guitar outro was really thin.
Anyway, blah-blah-blah, thanks, guys. I'm open to any thoughts.
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,095
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,095 |
This is a top notch composition, arrangement and production. It has a Gordon Lightfoot vibe about it to me. I saw him in Chicago many years ago, just Gordon along with a guy on another acoustic guitar. This song was right in the wheelhouse of what they were doing.
Regarding suggestions, not many come to mind, this is great the way you have it now.
You may want to experiment a bit with getting that flowing guitar real life/live sound you feel about the song.
The only other thought that occurred to me listening is the trivial idea that I would change the title and lyric line from "The girl with the look in her eye" to "The girl with 'that' look in her eye because it places a more direct and personal emphasis on the look that she's giving. Trivial and not really a suggestion as much as a passing thought....
Another personal choice I would do would be to place just a touch more reverb effect on your vocal. That's a personal choice only as well.
Enjoyed this one a lot.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thanks, Charlie. Very good suggestions.
I've toyed with the idea of peeling back the backup instruments a bit more to reveal the guitar, and I probably should experiment a little with that again, since I mentioned it here, it must be something subliminally that I do want. It's all back there, there's no punching in, just a little enveloping.
And you general thought about a lyric change I totally get. Previously, I'd fooled around with that/the, eye/eyes a bit, different ending direction, but decided to keep it simple.
I'd made a similar change in another song and eventually I regressed to the original word ("forgive you" to "forgive that", back to the former), just didn't feel right, clunked. There are no rules in writing, of course, but a guideline I've seen (and seen again recently here in the Songwriting forum, addressed the role of particular word-types in a sentence, action verbs, subjects/nouns, adjectives/adverbs, and the importance of not clouding those too much.
Regardless, your thoughts are really appreciated and I really thank you for the suggestion on the guitar. (And any reference to Mr. Lightfoot is a HIGH compliment. He is amazing.)
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
And thank you both, Scott and David. Thank you for listening and for taking a moment to comment.
David, you are the king of classic finger-picking and aug, sus, dim and phantom chords up and down the neck and I hoped that you would listen.
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,675
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,675 |
Andy,
This is so very good.
The write is exceptional. Some great lines in this. The story is really well developed.
The production is tasty and tasteful. Your guitar work is a delight. I would hesitate to change it much from where you have it - it all works VERY well. Your feelings about the guitar having more of a role is, likely, because you are so accustom to hearing it as you play it - as a guitar/vocal only. As we hear it - a full production - the guitar "holds its own" quite well.
I thought Charlie's suggestion of "that" was a good one (but, that is of course, your choice). I heard a "bit of a bump" on the word "ruined" (syllables rushed) - you could change that to "break" (or "broke") to reduce syllables (again, a little thing - though, getting to the point where "little things" are all that is left - as you have - is impressive...and makes those little things that much more important).
I would not be concerned about the length of the song. There is no "filler" in your story. This is like a Harry Chapin story song. They require the time they require.
Again... this is excellent!
floyd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 600
Journeyman
|
|
Journeyman
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 600 |
Great lyric, reminds me of Leonard Cohen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,323
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,323 |
cool, the longer I listened the more I got into the song.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,254
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,254 |
Andy, I think you made great choices for the instrumentation in this song. I really like the chord pattern in the verses and especially the minor chord at the end of the verse gave it a beautiful flow to the song. Thanks, Torrey.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thanks, guys. Very kind, supportive, and helpful comments and suggestions from everyone. It's good to get another set of ears on things. I start 2nd guessing and 3rd, 4th. Deconstruct it and then lose the $%&* parts.
Floyd, thank you very much; getting that new set of ears really helps identify those word-bumps others hear, like "that" and "the." For me, "that" is a bump, takes away from the emphasis on "Look", (...the GIRL with THAT look in her EYES... rather than....the GIRL with the LOOK in her EYES...) but it's all subjective and again, I REALLY, REALLY appreciate the feedback from you and from Charlie on it!
Now to "ruined." Ruined is about 2 1/2 syllables with the "ed", so at least 1 too many if a true flow is desired. "Broke" or "break" or anything with 1 syllable is better in that spot. You da' man!
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
...I'm revisiting "that".... you guys might be on to something there.... And, thank you, Torrey. Very nice to hear something that I really like, too. It's the little things... 
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 2,789
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 2,789 |
Hello, Andy
Your vocal and accompanied guitar is excellent.
I like the way you sing like talking.
The chord progressions sometimes to subdominant minor and dominant 7(#5) are very effective.
The modulation to parallel minor key is also very nice.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thank you, Shigeki. I think . I have no idea what you are talking about; so far beyond my skill set.
Kidding aside, thank you for your kind words and for giving me some specifics. It will be a healthy and musically growing research I'll do and I'll learn a lot from it.
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,864
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,864 |
Andy,
This is really enjoyable to listen to. You're a great story teller! The words are very visual and these lyrics showcase your talent really well. Like Shigeki Adachi, I also found the chord progression nicely put together.
I'm heading back for another listen now.
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thank you, Noel. Really appreciated. I have more popular songs (in my little, local world), but none as technical, that I enjoy playing just the melody without vocs. In my fantasy world, my Paul Simon's 'American Tune.' Guitar players are the ones that usually comment because visually it looks interesting, though it's pretty simple.
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,287
PG Music Staff
|
|
PG Music Staff
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,287 |
Andy A! Thank you for posting this song - I really enjoyed listening to it! This is today's Hot Forum Topic
Callie
Marketing Representative
PG Music Inc.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260
Apprentice
|
|
OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 260 |
Thanks, Callie! Made my DAY!
Andy
BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
Convenient Ways to Listen to Band-in-a-Box® Songs Created by Program Users!
The User Showcase Forum is an excellent place to share your Band-in-a-Box® songs and listen to songs other program users are creating!
There are other places you can listen to these songs too! Visit our User Showcase page to sort by genre, artist (forum name), song title, and date - each listing will direct you to the forum post for that song.
If you'd rather listen to these songs in one place, head to our Band-in-a-Box® Radio, where you'll have the option to select the genre playlist for your listening pleasure. This page has SoundCloud built in, so it won't redirect you. We've also added the link to the Artists SoundCloud page here, and a link to their forum post.
We hope you find some inspiration from this amazing collection of User Showcase Songs!
Congratulations to the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
We've just announced the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
There are 45 winners, each receiving a Band-in-a-Box 2024 UltraPAK! Read the official announcement to see if you've won.
Our User Showcase Forum receives more than 50 posts per day, with people sharing their Band-in-a-Box songs and providing feedback for other songs posted.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,582
Posts734,690
Members38,499
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean