Alright, so I was thinking (it happens once a year and I'm done ;)) about my interactions on the forum.

Thankfully, I haven't really had any run-in's in a long time. I've tried to change my approach a bit. Yet, I'm still not really sure how's it's perceived.

What got me thinking was JoeV (great guy) asked a simple question about getting students. My response was an attempt to be helpful, however, looking back at what I wrote, I could see where it could be taken otherwise.

Now, to be clear, no one said anything bad to me, including him. He was very gracious in fact.

Steve is another person I totally appreciate on these boards but always felt I had a questionable comment to. He didn't seem phased by it, so I'm hoping all is good?

I've have actually spoken via phone with several people from the forum and enjoyed those conversations very much! I'm not sure if they did...lol, but my speech patterns are very similar to how I type. The difference is the actual expression of voice. I think, but could be wrong, that I come across better speaking than typing.

So that being said, lay it on me. If I offended any of you, let me know how and when. I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to be that if it came across that way.

This isn't so much coming from a place of people pleasing, as just working on my communication skills. From a song writer's perspective, that never hurts!

Thanks all! If I didn't value the forums so much, I wouldn't ask!

HTL - I think most folks here realize that written communication will never convey the nuance of verbal communication (no body language or vocal inflections in the written version, unless you explicitly insert them). So I think pretty much, most will engage in conversation, even when they disagree, as long as no personal disparaging remarks are made. You'll go a lot farther with "I don't completely agree with that" than you will with "well, that's just stupid".

Hey HearToLearn - I had the same problem as you - I did not realize just how sensitive people can be, and I used to say things they found abrasive, insulting, or worse. And ironically, I consider MYSELF a sensitive guy.

For what it's worth - I didn't find any of your comments as you described them....just goes to show how different people have different communication styles and perceive things differently.

Now, when it comes to politics - my advice to you, just keep quiet LOL. I wish I could follow it myself ; ) I read an interesting Quora article about how people identify with a team and do not speak in a fact-based, searching-for-truth kind of manner. And I think that's absolutely true. I will share the link when I come across it again.

Like water off a duck's back man. Life's too short to take every comment seriously. It will put you in the grave early....

Years ago when the first forum discussions were found on bulletin boards (remember them?) I made the earth shaking discovery that expressing the same opinions that fit nicely among my homogenous group of family and friends suddenly did not have 100% acceptance in a broader community.

My first reaction was to recoil and stop participating. But I soon learned that when reasonable people stop sharing their point of view, the unreasonable people start enforcing theirs.

So I watched quietly from the sidelines to see which reasonable people were most skilled at presenting their POV. Turns out that people who steadfastly address the IDEA while preserving everyone's dignity were consistently able to discuss ANY TOPIC without having it blow up in their face.

When people catch on to this simple truth, you end up with a whole forum full of respectful people who aren't attackers themselves, and who therefore don't automatically assume that others are attacking every time they say something.

The PGMusic forums have evolved into the good kind of place where everybody seems to understand that the only thing that works is to speak your mind in a respectful way, then don't start second-guessing the outcome. In a good group like this the outcome will generally be better than you could possibly hope for.

At least, that's been my experience on this forum.

Well said Pat.

So true! It's strange how books aren't so misunderstood...or maybe they are?



Well that is just stupid! LOL So kidding! I agree with you, and that's what I'm working on. Phrasing things better. It's not only a great exercise for the forums, but lyric writing as well. Win/win.

Thanks for the response!


On a different note, I've been meaning to tell you for a while now that I love your new picture! I wish I could get one that good! Every time I see it I think "what a great pic!" I haven't said anything because I always think of it when I see you post. I didn't want to post that in someone else's post, so here's my chance!

HTL,

Responding to your response about how books are not misunderstood.

Most books go through a never ending circle of drafts, proof reading, editing and revisions before they are released for public consumption. The process can take a year or more.

I suspect many users post in real time and do not worry as much about composition as book publishers do.