I let this macerate for a couple of weeks while I listened and decided on the long or short version.
I've implemented all suggestions and kept some of them so thanks to those who offered ideas.
Alison took my scratch melody and build something better.
Whilst this is a "finished" piece I'm happy to log all comments & suggestions for future consideration in future projects.

Sounds great Ray. The vibe, groove and melody of this song really holds your attention.

Excellent mix and production. Cool video also!

Bob

The cello playing is outstanding.
Production and mix is well balanced.
The video is bit confusing as I am not seeing a path to tell a story. The melody is a bit random and does not lead the listener thru a progression to a climax.
Good job overall

First thing I noticed was how well separated the Bass and Cello are in the mix. They can EASILY run into each other. That is NOT happening here at all. Kudos to the engineer.
Drums are a touch soft for my tastes (small minus points, engineer)
Great expression in Allison's cello!
I wanted the panned rhythm guitars to be slightly "crisper" (to contrast the cello more?)
I like what the organ is doing. Good glue.
For the length of the piece, there might have been more variation to the theme along the way.
Cute dogs. Scary clowns.

fj

Hi Ray & Alison ...

Alison sure knows how to bring a cello to life! Would love to have heard a little more of that guitar (around 4:40) in the background! And maybe a little more high EQ on the drums.

It's a well-conceived write and offers a sense of mild drama (the bass line drives the drama) and much anticipation from Alison's superb playing. The organ fills any holes

Your posts are always interesting and a pleasure to listen to. Nice work by you and your contributors!

Alan

Ray,

Very clever work on this project! It's a treat to see the musician at work in the video! Her work really lifts the tune to a higher place and you bass work (I'm assuming it's you) is done in a totally pro way! Your bass lines in several place had me thinking of McCartney's work on Nowhere Man....so many notes but they all fit! This seemed to be a huge undertaking for you but you've made it all sound great!

Thanks, TB

Hi Allison and Ray
Cool intro
Allison does a great job again
The song in connection with the video is very well done
Sounds extremely good
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Reminded me of a opening musical number to roll credits in a mystery/thriller film. Nice work but a little long for a casual listen but great for the above mentioned film work. Great production values and I just love the cello in anything so yes this is a win on all counts.

Rick

The mix and mastering sound great, Ray and the video matches the song with its mysterious edge.

We had that same sense of foreboding (as in the audio) watching the park scenes going from crowded throngs to individuals or small groups.

We give it a thumbs up for sure.

You and Alison are a great team!

J&B

Macerate?

Darned it, you made me learn another word.

First you lure me in with a picture of cute puppies, and then you add clowns?

Sneaky.

Anyway, nice to hear it again!

Ray,
Quite long, but entertaining. Great Cello work by Alison & your bass playing. You sound good together. Pretty intense, dark music, but listens smoothly. I wonder if Alison is using that Blue mic that is seen on video to record cello? Whatever she used, it transferred acoustics very well.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Clever dramatic stuff, Ray.
My ears are hearing a bit of low end rumble but maybe that's what you want.

Vic

Very cool tune Ray. Loved how you mixed the low end on this. The cello was very cool. Really well done..

Hey Ray,

This is very cool. Very moody and cinematic.

The cello work is excellent.