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Posted By: PeteG Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/17/13 12:06 AM
I recently updated my BIAB to 2013 for MAC - ultra pac

And finally got around to writing and recording a new song with it.

"Arrow in My Heart" words and music by Pete Gallatin
key- Am tempo -85 4:36 http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12412697

Style is KEBMO.STY

real tracks used
379 Bass, Electric,Country, double time EV088
381 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm, Syncopated Sugar EV102
382 Guitar, Slide,Background Blues, EV085
378 Guitar Acoustic, strumming, double time EV088
Real Drums - Nashville Pop 16, a-snare high hat b- snare ride

tracks were rendered into digital performer 8
vocal recorded into digital performer 8 - w/reverb, compression and eq -mixed and mastered


Arrow in My Heart

As I am walking down the streets of your city
All the faces turn away from me, they turn away in pity
'Cause they see this empty shell of a man whose soul is empty
And he seems to have a problem with every breath he is attempting

Oh and, Baby, I feel so down
Ever since, since you are not around
Oh,oh, Nothing seems to be the same
And I'm feeling all this pain
Feels like.

Like an Arrow in my Heart
Where everything has been torn apart
Like an Arrow in my Heart
And I'm falling , falling down
And I'm writhing, writhing on the ground
With an Arrow in my Heart oh,oh oh oh oh


You made your point, but you know I must defend
Myself, don't want to go over this and over this again
It's two o'clock and we are getting to the part I really dread
How can I sleep when you keep on talk talk talking in my head

And, Baby, I feel so down
Ever since, since you are not around
Oh,oh, Nothing seems to be the same
And I'm feeling all this pain
Feels like.

Like an Arrow in my Heart
Where everything has been torn apart
Like an Arrow in my Heart
And I'm falling , falling down
And I'm writhing, writhing on the ground
With an Arrow in my Heart oh,oh oh oh oh

Like an Arrow in my Heart
Like an Arrow in my Heart

Pete Gallatin 2013
Posted By: PgFantastic Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/17/13 05:39 AM
Nice set of lyrics, Thanks for sharing!
Posted By: Blorg Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 12:55 PM
Hi Pete,

Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.

One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.
Posted By: Danny C. Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 01:14 PM
Originally Posted By: Blorg
Hi Pete,

Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.

One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.


+1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric.

Just an observation.

Later,
Posted By: Pat Marr Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 01:23 PM
I like the way you consistently developed the comparison between literally having an arrow in the heart, and its metaphorical equivalent.

the meter varies from verse to verse however, which is a bit disorienting.

----------------
but on a different note: welcome to the world of BIAB 2013! pretty cool, huh?
Posted By: MarioD Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 09:22 PM
Originally Posted By: Danny C.
Originally Posted By: Blorg
Hi Pete,

Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.

One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.


+1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric.

Just an observation.

Later,


I agree. I really like the lyrics, chord progression and mix but it does sound like you are forcing the vocals. I suspect that you are trying to emphasize the pain one goes through when faced with this situation. Unfortunately I think you may have over done it. However this is just my opinion and other may not agree.

Again I really liked the song.
Posted By: PeteG Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 10:23 PM
Originally Posted By: MarioD
Originally Posted By: Danny C.
Originally Posted By: Blorg
Hi Pete,

Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.

One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.


+1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric.

Just an observation.

Later,


I agree. I really like the lyrics, chord progression and mix but it does sound like you are forcing the vocals. I suspect that you are trying to emphasize the pain one goes through when faced with this situation. Unfortunately I think you may have over done it. However this is just my opinion and other may not agree.

Again I really liked the song.


Mario D / Danny C / Blorg

I agree with you the vocal is okay at best and as I wrote the song I didn't visualize it as a song I would perform - I was trying to write to that hip hop / alt country groove and with an emotional tone. So I'll be happy to try to incorporate your suggestions in the next incarnations.
Posted By: PeteG Re: Arrow in My Heart - New Song - 07/18/13 10:31 PM
Originally Posted By: Pat Marr
I like the way you consistently developed the comparison between literally having an arrow in the heart, and its metaphorical equivalent.

the meter varies from verse to verse however, which is a bit disorienting.

----------------
but on a different note: welcome to the world of BIAB 2013! pretty cool, huh?


Thanks for your insights -- and yes I like the new additions to BIAB!
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