Got to revision no3. Backed off the vocal, cleaned up the beginning. I like it more now so thanks to all for the constructive comments.

Took the good advice offered by Herb, Floyd and Guenter and backed off on the effects.Thank you gentlemen. Yeah i got an old vinyl lp of Walter Brennan. Must find it and have another listen.

https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge/free-rider-2

https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge/free-rider

RD - Nashville classic waltz
Bass - RT 777
Guitars - RT 825, 823.
Midi trumpet

Free Rider

I dont want a harley or a honda
I dont want a chopper or trike
Just want some old wheels
and some takeaway meals
And the chance to move on with my life

It's a long time since I been on the road
Though I left you there so long a-go
It's time to start searchin
I cant say for certain
I think I'll just go with the flow

Got a ride and a bright starry sky over-head
I'm a long way from heaven and a long way from dead
I float through the night on this gun-metal steed
I cant see around corners but I can see all I need

I hear your soul calling me home
It's a long time since I left you a-lone
it cant be that far
to that bright shining star
And the place where I'll find you a-gain

I don't want to be a one percent outlaw
and I won't spend my time with the lost ninety nine
I Ride the wild highway seeking re-demption
In my own way and in my own time

Got a ride and a bright starry sky over-head
I'm a long way from heaven and a long way from dead
I float through the night on this gun-metal steed
I cant see around corners but I can see all I need
And I feel your sweet warmth in the night

Cool tune, kinda reminds me of some of the old country recordings by folks like Walter Brennen. I think he did some "talking" recordings.

On the sound effects.... generally when you use a sound effect, it is used sparingly. The motorcycle continued through the entire song. Unfortunately, an engine running at speed also has a pitch to it's sound and that "note" was droning in the background out of key to the song.

A better way to use the sound effect would be to have let it run by itself for 5 to 8 seconds as the bike cranks and gets going. Then start a fairly rapid fade as the song starts so that 3 seconds into the music the bike is gone on down the road. Now, the listeners are focused on the song. I found myself distracted by the sound of the bike all the way through..... then somewhere in the song, the bike cranks again....

Use sound effects in songs like salt. A pinch in the right place is all you need.

Cool tune that as a rider, I can relate to.

Richard,

A very well written piece. And well delivered. Good points from Herb, the effect is overdone. At the beginning and end would be enough - you might have it pop up between verses for a moment and then fade again.

Not sure how you might accomplish it, but it would be cool if you could have a group (choir-like) singing behind you on the last chorus.
It's the weekend - gather your friends - have 'em all bring a bottle - no telling where that might lead...

This is a very enjoyable listen.

floyd

Hi Richard,

this could be a cool song if you take
the above advice. Then this would be
an enjoyable listen.
Neat lyrics.

Guenter

like the line gun metal steed, Like the motorcycle sound effect at the end; thanks for sharing!

PGfantastic. Thanks for listening and the comment Robert. Cheers.

"I float through the night on this gun-metal steed
I cant see around corners but I can see all I need"

That alone is worth the listen! You can spend way too much time trying to see around those corners. Cool idea and production. Enjoyed it.

Janice and Bud thanks for listening and for your great comment! Cheers.

There you go... much better since it was edited.

One small suggestion remains. The vox seem to jump in very abruptly. It almost sounds like something was chopped off to my ears. I would add a short acoustic guitar chord turn around before the vox comes in to make it flow more naturally.

It sounds like you're saying "But I don't want a harley or a honda." at the very beginning. Edit/remove the "but" and that may work just fine.

this is just a suggestion, my 2 cents as it were....

The song is definitely getting better with the edits you have made.

Much better!

I agree with Herb about the vocal. I also think that maybe the vocal is a tad too loud, but again that just could be me.

Got a ride and a bright starry sky over-head
I'm a long way from heaven and a long way from dead
I float through the night on this gun-metal steed
I cant see around corners but I can see all I need

Great verse!!! A very cool listen!! Keep it up. Take care. Greg

Thanks Greg. This turned into quite a community effort. Have incorporated all the suggestions I could and am pleased with the result. Cheers.

Richard, I like the lyrics. The suggestions are definitely making it a better song. Thanks for posting and listening to some of the comments and then taking the time to make the changes. Well done. Tom

Yup... the beginning is better now.

It's amazing how a few simple fixes can improve the song so much.

Good job.

Hey Richard,

This is absolutely terrific. It's inventive, incredibly involving and the uniqueness of the lyrics really make it stand out. Like Greg, the verse about the "gun metal steed" appealed to me.

If you ever you revisit the lyrics, one thing that I'd try is to put them into first person narrative. Change the "you" to "her" and "she". It would be interesting to hear how it sounds.

I'm heading back for another listen now. Great stuff!!!

All the best,
Noel

Thanks Noel your comments are appreciated. And anyone who took the time to listen and or comment. I have enjoyed the interaction. Cheers.

Hi Richard...

We're listening to this after all the edits. As is, sounds pretty danged good to us. We're not bikers, never were...but we really enjoyed the song!

We think it's fabulous when the community comes together to offer suggestions that might make a song even better...but it only works when the composer acts on the ideas he'she thinks would improve the song. It seems you have done just that. Congrats on a great song and a great attitude about the process. best to you.

Al & Di

+1 on that, which is just one example of the golden lyrical nuggets in this song.