PG Music Home
Posted By: floyd jane One More Star - 07/18/14 04:27 PM
There are a number of stories I could tell about this song.
But, in this case, I think I'll let the song speak for itself...

Hope you enjoy it.


ONE MORE STAR


i know you'd call me crazy... sitting here with this gun
watching the horizon for the setting of the sun
i'm here because of you... it's killing me you're gone
but i know just what i've got to do as soon as nightfall comes

you see, years ago, out walking with my dad one moonless night
i looked up in amazement when i saw this falling light
and dad said "quick, make a wish...a shooting star will make it true"
so, now, i'm sitting on this hilltop..i'm gonna bring one down for you

   i'll shoot at one more star
   take aim and pull off one more round
   do wishes go that far
   or just fall back to the ground
   now and then, one goes out, i swear
   so, i keep loading up the chamber
   and sending up this prayer
   please come back
   baby, wherever you are
   then i close my eyes
   and shot at one more star

my broken heart keeps begging me to somehow bring you back
it made me grab a box of shells and this rifle off the rack
it still believes every time it hears somebody say
shoot for the highest star...you'll reach your dream one day

   i'll shoot at one more star
   take aim and pull off one more round
   do wishes go that far
   or just fall back to the ground
   now and then, one goes out, i swear
   so, i keep loading up the chamber
   and sending up this prayer
   please come back
   baby, wherever you are
   then i close my eyes
   and shot at one more star

please come back
baby, wherever you are
i close my eyes
and shot at one more star


the band...
RealTracks in song: ~1846:Bass, Electric, CountryBoogieRootFive Sw 140
RealTracks in song: 1524:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopPowerPushClean Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 633:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopAmericanMuted Ev 120 (A:sync)
RealTracks in song: 1707:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryBrent Ev 165
RealTracks in song: 795:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernCountrySync Ev 100 (A:strum)
RealTracks in song: 620:Pedal Steel, Background Cowboy Ev 165
RealTracks in song: ~618:Fiddle, Background Allis Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 2030:Fiddle, Soloist CountryAndy Ev 165
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

I played the acoustic guitars
The harmonies are me and the BIABettes

Comments welcomed.

floyd
Posted By: Greg Johnson Re: One More Star - 07/18/14 05:41 PM
Great tune--great write, great arrangement/production, great vocal!! I really like a well delivered romantic notion and you nailed it here. I wouldn't change a thing. Great work. Take care. Greg

PS Thanks for your input on my blues tune. I think your absolutely right about the horns. I like horns and I guess I was trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Always appreciate your insights. Thanks again!
Posted By: PatrickH Re: One More Star - 07/18/14 10:26 PM
Good write. Nice vocal mix and I like the build of the tune with the drums coming in as it progresses and the steel guitar answering one of your vocal phrases early on and setting the tune on its way.
Posted By: PgFantastic Re: One More Star - 07/18/14 10:35 PM
Wow this is great lyrics!!! Your vocal is excellent and the master is outstanding; thanks for sharing!
Posted By: Frankp Re: One More Star - 07/18/14 10:44 PM
Interesting take on the lyrics, a gun and yearning for your love to come back... who would have thought you can make those two work together. Nice surprise that you're not fixin' on shooting anyone. Really catchy and memorable lyrics.

Your use of BIAB here is exceptional, really top shelf. It all comes together like a well oiled machine.

Right on!
Posted By: Charlie Fogle Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 04:16 AM
Good song. I liked the acoustic guitars on this.

Charlie
Posted By: gibson Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 06:35 AM
floyd,

outstanding!
3 listens already and still I can't think of anything else to say! I'll try a 4th and maybe that'll force my synapses to work.
nope LOL
Quote:
Great tune--great write, great arrangement/production, great vocal!! I really like a well delivered romantic notion and you nailed it here. I wouldn't change a thing. Great work. Take care. Greg

Greg said it all for me.

An excellent way to start my day

Alyn
Posted By: RichMac Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 09:14 AM
Hi Floyd. Very whimsical. Thought the fiddles sound fabulous. Beautifully polished production. Very nice. Cheers.
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 01:13 PM
Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Great tune--great write, great arrangement/production, great vocal!! I really like a well delivered romantic notion and you nailed it here. I wouldn't change a thing. Great work. Take care. Greg

Greg - Guess I could not ask for more...You are must generous with your comment. Thank you.


Originally Posted By: nobilis
Good write. Nice vocal mix and I like the build of the tune with the drums coming in as it progresses and the steel guitar answering one of your vocal phrases early on and setting the tune on its way.

Patrick - Appreciate that. Thanks for the careful listen...


Originally Posted By: PgFantastic
Wow this is great lyrics!!! Your vocal is excellent and the master is outstanding; thanks for sharing!

Robert - Music to my ears... thanks!
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 01:17 PM
Originally Posted By: Frankp
Interesting take on the lyrics, a gun and yearning for your love to come back... who would have thought you can make those two work together. Nice surprise that you're not fixin' on shooting anyone. Really catchy and memorable lyrics.

Your use of BIAB here is exceptional, really top shelf. It all comes together like a well oiled machine.

Right on!

Frank - So nice to see you back around. Yeah..no harm comes to anyone - I don't even own a gun... just kinda shootin' from the hip for this, so to speak...appreciate the kind words...


Originally Posted By: c_fogle
Good song. I liked the acoustic guitars on this.

Charlie

Thanks, Charlie...
Posted By: boehm Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 01:26 PM
Hi Floyd,

this is another one of the stories you can tell so
beautifully and that I like so much.
Details on the production can be found in Greg's post.
He forgot the wonderful Biabettes though.

Guenter
Posted By: JoanneCooper Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 04:52 PM
Excellent! Excellent on absolutely all fronts Floyd
Posted By: Janice & Bud Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 09:16 PM
We'd pick our favorite line and quote it here....but given that it would be the whole song it would be long and redundant to do that!

This one is extraordinary even given the context of your "high bar." I'd love to visit the top of that bar for a few minutes and see what it's like :-)

There's not a slack nano second in this song -- not in the lyric, not in the melody, not in the vocals, not in the RT choices and not in the mix or the mastering. Magnificent!!

Janice and Bud
Posted By: tommyad Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 11:03 PM
floyd, Let me start with what I don't like about this song. Nothing. From back to front -super ending. I still have trouble with that. Loved the oohs. Ooh yeah! Nice editing on the steel and Brent Mason. The vocal and the write are top notch as always. That acoustic sounds killer. What kind of a guitar and are you using the AT mic? The mix is great. Only someone who has devoted the better part of his life doing this could come up with the little tricks in the beginning to grab ahold of the listener. The extra beat on the hold before the singing and the way the bass enters along with the kick are nuances that come with experience. Always a pleasure to see what the mind of floyd jane comes up with next. I'm convinced this is the best place to find fresh and interesting music. Much better than the radio. Tom
Posted By: gruverider Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 11:05 PM
Super lyrics! Just love 'em! Great imagery, and story-telling.

And I enjoy the changes in the chord progression and melody.

much enjoyed!
Posted By: gruverider Re: One More Star - 07/19/14 11:10 PM
Oh yeah, I love the intro too!
Posted By: robsmusic Re: One More Star - 07/20/14 01:37 AM
Another great song and great recording!
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/20/14 07:59 PM
Originally Posted By: gibson
floyd,

outstanding!
3 listens already and still I can't think of anything else to say! I'll try a 4th and maybe that'll force my synapses to work.
nope LOL
Quote:
Great tune--great write, great arrangement/production, great vocal!! I really like a well delivered romantic notion and you nailed it here. I wouldn't change a thing. Great work. Take care. Greg

Greg said it all for me.

An excellent way to start my day

Alyn

Thanks Alyn. That seems to say it fine...


Originally Posted By: RichMac
Hi Floyd. Very whimsical. Thought the fiddles sound fabulous. Beautifully polished production. Very nice. Cheers.

Richard - Appreciate all of that...
Posted By: dani48 Re: One More Star - 07/21/14 12:37 PM
Hi, Floyd !:))


I do not find words for this !
Somehow there´s not enough
superlatives for this !!!

Your number one for the moment !

Cheers
Dani
Posted By: Guitarhacker Re: One More Star - 07/21/14 12:53 PM
Great country song. Nice job too on the recording and production.

I hope that guy lives out....way out in the country since he's shooting into the sky...... ;-)
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/21/14 05:27 PM
Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Floyd,

this is another one of the stories you can tell so
beautifully and that I like so much.
Details on the production can be found in Greg's post.
He forgot the wonderful Biabettes though.

Guenter

Thanks, Guenter - appreciate your support, as always. I don't use the BIABettes as much as I used to, but they do a great job on Oooohs...


Originally Posted By: JosieC
Excellent! Excellent on absolutely all fronts Floyd

Joanne - appreciate that...
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/21/14 05:35 PM
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
We'd pick our favorite line and quote it here....but given that it would be the whole song it would be long and redundant to do that!

This one is extraordinary even given the context of your "high bar." I'd love to visit the top of that bar for a few minutes and see what it's like :-)

There's not a slack nano second in this song -- not in the lyric, not in the melody, not in the vocals, not in the RT choices and not in the mix or the mastering. Magnificent!!

Janice and Bud

Geez, guys... what can I say to that? You are most kind!


Originally Posted By: tommyad
floyd, Let me start with what I don't like about this song. Nothing. From back to front -super ending. I still have trouble with that. Loved the oohs. Ooh yeah! Nice editing on the steel and Brent Mason. The vocal and the write are top notch as always. That acoustic sounds killer. What kind of a guitar and are you using the AT mic? The mix is great. Only someone who has devoted the better part of his life doing this could come up with the little tricks in the beginning to grab ahold of the listener. The extra beat on the hold before the singing and the way the bass enters along with the kick are nuances that come with experience. Always a pleasure to see what the mind of floyd jane comes up with next. I'm convinced this is the best place to find fresh and interesting music. Much better than the radio. Tom

Tom - I do appreciate all the nice comments. The guitar is the one you see to the left in my avatar. A Yamaha FG-500. Had it since '73 - 40 years... Yamaha only made them for a couple of years - their attempt to compete with Martin - which they could not, so they gave it up. I would NEVER give it up. I have a Takamine, too - but I never play it. It is, in fact, recorded thru the AT4033a (20 years old - a workhorse)..
Posted By: Jim Fogle Re: One More Star - 07/22/14 12:14 AM
Floyd,

Good story and story telling. Your production is top notch.
Posted By: SpaceDog Re: One More Star - 07/22/14 02:07 AM
Floyd,
Loved it. Great song.
SD
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/22/14 10:19 PM
Originally Posted By: gruverider
Super lyrics! Just love 'em! Great imagery, and story-telling.

And I enjoy the changes in the chord progression and melody.

much enjoyed!

Oh yeah, I love the intro too!

Lawrence - I appreciate the nice comments. Thanks....


Originally Posted By: robsmusic
Another great song and great recording!

Thanks, Rob...
Originally Posted By: dani48
Hi, Floyd !:))


I do not find words for this !
Somehow there´s not enough
superlatives for this !!!

Your number one for the moment !

Cheers
Dani

LOL - appreciate it, Dani...
Posted By: Al-David Re: One More Star - 07/22/14 11:19 PM
Hi Floy..

We started listing what we liked about this song. We quickly realized we were bankrupted the English language of its superlative adjectives. We think the last time you posted a less than stellar song ... Jesus was still a carpenter!

As everyone has already said ...everything about this is top shelf. And what a great lyrical concept! You never fail to amaze us in the most pleasant ways!

SPLENDID!!!

Alan & Di
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/23/14 02:37 PM
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Great country song. Nice job too on the recording and production.

I hope that guy lives out....way out in the country since he's shooting into the sky...... ;-)

Herb - Appreciate that. Thanks. Well, yeah...way out...it is country, after all...

Originally Posted By: JimFogle
Floyd,

Good story and story telling. Your production is top notch.

Jim - Thanks for taking the time to drop in for a listen...

Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Floyd,
Loved it. Great song.
SD

SD - appreciate that.
Posted By: sixchannel Re: One More Star - 07/25/14 07:03 PM
Hi Floyd
Not around much at the moment - so much "stuff" going on here that my head is swimming.
However, every time I get 5 minutes and manage to drop by and listen, there you are with yet another Masterpiece.
Excellent lyrics - I love the concept of it - and another great tune to go with it. Neat chords from you, as always.
Totally stunning BT from BIAB, this system was just made for you. And that Yammy is sounding so crisp and beautifully resonant.
Awesome, my friend.
Cheers
ian

Posted By: SpaceDog Re: One More Star - 07/25/14 07:47 PM
Floyd,
This is a great piece. I Loved every aspect of it.
SD
Posted By: F.M.M. Re: One More Star - 07/25/14 09:18 PM
hi Floyd awesome love all your stuff great lyric thanks eric
Posted By: RnAM Re: One More Star - 07/25/14 09:18 PM
Hi Floyd,

that's another very nice country song!
We like the subtle arrangement change in the second verse, the professional use of pedal steel guitar and fiddle.
The acoustic guitar you played yourself sounds very clear through our speakers.
You definitely know how to use the TC Helicon to the max!

Regards,
R & AM
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/26/14 03:56 PM
Originally Posted By: Al-David
Hi Floy..

We started listing what we liked about this song. We quickly realized we were bankrupted the English language of its superlative adjectives. We think the last time you posted a less than stellar song ... Jesus was still a carpenter!

As everyone has already said ...everything about this is top shelf. And what a great lyrical concept! You never fail to amaze us in the most pleasant ways!

SPLENDID!!!

Alan & Di

Alan & Di - thanks, guys. I do appreciate such kind words.


Originally Posted By: sixchannel
Hi Floyd
Not around much at the moment - so much "stuff" going on here that my head is swimming.
However, every time I get 5 minutes and manage to drop by and listen, there you are with yet another Masterpiece.
Excellent lyrics - I love the concept of it - and another great tune to go with it. Neat chords from you, as always.
Totally stunning BT from BIAB, this system was just made for you. And that Yammy is sounding so crisp and beautifully resonant.
Awesome, my friend.
Cheers
ian

Ian - good to see you pop in for a listen! PGMusic has, in fact, given me exactly what I've wanted for most of my life... I'm in hog heaven...Thanks. My guitar thanks you, too... smile
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/26/14 03:58 PM
Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Floyd,
This is a great piece. I Loved every aspect of it.
SD

SD - thanks.... again.


Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
hi Floyd awesome love all your stuff great lyric thanks eric

Appreciate that, eric


Originally Posted By: R & AM
Hi Floyd,

that's another very nice country song!
We like the subtle arrangement change in the second verse, the professional use of pedal steel guitar and fiddle.
The acoustic guitar you played yourself sounds very clear through our speakers.
You definitely know how to use the TC Helicon to the max!

Regards,
R & AM


R & AM - thanks, guys... appreciate the listen.
Posted By: Al-David Re: One More Star - 07/26/14 06:41 PM
Hi Floyd,

Simple wonderful! We can think of nothing more say that's not already been said. Only that we're as impressed with your work on this one as we are on all your work. If it gets any better than this, it would musical magic. Damn near is already! Best to ya ...

Alan & Di
Posted By: Noel96 Re: One More Star - 07/26/14 11:40 PM
Hi floyd!

As Inspector Gadget says, “Wowsers!” This is song-writing, -recording, -mixing, -producing, -performing at their stellar best. Every time I listen to a song from your catalogue, my eyes glaze over with awe – no joking!

I love the implicit pun that these lyrics are based around: 'shooting stars' (the word-pair describing the stars falling from the sky) and 'shooting stars' (the word-pair describing the act of aiming and firing at the twinkling lights). How cool is that! The inventiveness of your imagination always impresses. It doesn't stop there, though. You then take the concept of 'aiming and shooting at stars' and paint it with the colours of metaphor so that it embodies the notion of 'striving for success'.

The emotional development of these lyrics is perfect and, to my mind, is a great model for anyone wanting to get an added insight into how to develop lyrics. Verse 1 is grounded in the present and uses strong imagery to create a 'mini-movie' in the listener's mind. Verse 2 then moves to the past and offers an explanation as to why the song's character is 'watching the horizon'. The imagery within Verse 2 also continues to unroll as a 'mini-movie'. With the song's concept, and the lead character, firmly established in the listener's mind by verses 1 and 2, the first chorus then ties everything together by telling the listener about the motive behind the details established in the verses. Your beginning lyrical content wrapped in a verse-verse-chorus structure is what Pat Pattision would call a very effective use of “show and tell”.


Originally Posted By: Noel
In case you haven't read it, here's a link to a short article that explains what Pattison means by “show and tell” if you are interested in having a read.


Now comes Verse 3. To develop the lyrics further, you come back to the present and include personal detail (i.e. 'broken heart') about the song's lead character. You then add to this development by utilising concepts that are philosophical and metaphorical. One such lyric tool is to personify the character's 'broken heart' so that it becomes the driving force behind the lead character's actions.

The Bridge further develops the lyric's emotional ooomff by becoming intensely personal and we can feel the character's anguish.

In addition to the above, these lyrics caused me to reflect on how they are both simultaneously general and specific. The word “Awesome” springs to mind! It may be me, and because of the circumstances that have surrounded me in the last few months, but these lyrics could apply to a large number of different situations. Most people would probably hear the words as referring to a broken relationship. To my mind, the lyrical use of “baby” amplifies this concept. At one point, I found myself reading through and leaving out the instances of “baby”. Many possibilities unfolded. The lyrics could be about a close friend, lover or family member who is in a coma, who has died, who has dementia, who is lost, etc. I have to say that your ability to write lyrics that address the states of mind of so many individual listener's circumstances is incredibly impressive. A great deal of thought and planning has clearly gone into the crafting of these words.

I don't know how many times I've listened to “One More Star” but I'm now heading back for another one! It's great smile

All the best,
Noel
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 07/29/14 03:01 PM
Noel...

Thank you - a bunch - for your kind words... and that delightful review....

I sometimes wonder if the nuances in this song are caught by the typical listener (you, of course, are not the typical listener). You pretty much covered it. Warms my (broken) heart.

I'm glad that you were able to take the song past it's literal meaning to something more...

(I was surprised the you did not mention the alliteration in the broken heart line - I know you always like that aspect... smile )

I always so enjoy reading your thought on the writing aspect of a song. And the feelings it conveys. Especially enjoyed this one.

Thanks, again. I do appreciate it!

floyd
Posted By: MarioD Re: One More Star - 08/01/14 12:22 AM
I'm late to the party so everything that I would have said has already been said. All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?
Posted By: Noel96 Re: One More Star - 08/01/14 08:14 AM
Hi floyd,

Quote:
I was surprised the you did not mention the alliteration in the broken heart line - I know you always like that aspect... smile


It's true! The clever use of alliteration always makes me feel good inside! The broken heart line is one such line. When I first read through the lyrics, I smiled after reading that line. Then I became so focused on what I was writing that I forgot to comment about it! Must be old age settling in.

CORRECTION: In my previous post, I referred to a "Bridge". That was incorrect. It's a repetition of a section of the chorus. The effect of this repetition is that the lyrics' meaning is amplified and it acts to increase the angst.

All the best,
Noel
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 08/03/14 01:26 PM
Originally Posted By: MarioD
I'm late to the party so everything that I would have said has already been said. All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?

Mario - Thanks for saying that. There was a possibility...35 years ago smile ....


Noel - smile
Posted By: sixchannel Re: One More Star - 08/03/14 01:39 PM
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Originally Posted By: MarioD
All I can add is I wonder why you haven't been signed by a major recording company yet?

Mario - There was a possibility...35 years ago smile ....
Noel - smile


The World of Musics great loss!!
Ian
Posted By: ROG Re: One More Star - 08/03/14 04:06 PM
Hi Floyd.

Playing catch-up as usual, I just managed to sneak in here to say that I did get to listen to it and like all your other tracks, I'm in awe of the total professionalism of the whole thing.

Sounds like straight off country radio.

ROG.
Posted By: Sonny Ray Re: One More Star - 08/05/14 11:45 PM
Another great song - sounds like a hit. Wonderful lyric idea and well-realized. Thanks for sharing!
Posted By: floyd jane Re: One More Star - 08/07/14 01:33 PM
Originally Posted By: sixchannel
The World of Musics great loss!!
Ian

smile - Thanks, Ian...

Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd.
...and like all your other tracks, I'm in awe of the total professionalism of the whole thing.

Sounds like straight off country radio. ROG.


ROG - always happy to see you drop by... thanks for those nice comments..

Originally Posted By: Sonny Ray
Another great song - sounds like a hit. Wonderful lyric idea and well-realized. Thanks for sharing!


Sonny - So nice to have you take this a spin... Thanks for the kind words...
Posted By: Sundance Re: One More Star - 08/15/14 02:33 AM
A+ ***** Top drawer.

You've outdone yourself on this one Floyd.


Josie
Posted By: cubanpete Re: One More Star - 08/15/14 03:08 AM
Wow, Floyd, almost missed this one. As always great production, even better vocals and harmonies. Excellent!

Mike B.
© PG Music Forums