Last stand? or last straw?...

The Band:
Style is _FSPWLZ4.STY (Uptempo PopWaltz PnoMando[180RS])
RealTracks in style: ~~1178:Bass, Electric, PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1188:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1182:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~1186:Mandolin, Rhythm PopWaltz Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1105:Banjo, Rhythm BluegrassWaltz Ev 140
RealDrums in Song: PopRockWaltzBrushesEv: a: Brushes b: PopRockWaltzBrushesEv

I played an acoustic guitar track and the leads.


SHE'S TRIED EVERYTHING

if she had a good reason she could make her last stand
a last ditch attempt to keep that ring on her hand
but his love's grown cold....she can't understand
she's tried everything

she promised to honor, trust, and obey
but they gave her no rules for when love slips away
alone at the crossroads.... not sure of her way
she's tried everything

   she's tried to be more than a friend
   a lover, a mother, the rock where he stands
   holding on, holding out, hoping he'll love her again
   she's tried to bring back the romance
   and time after time given him one last chance
   how could they let what they had slip right thru their hands
   but she's tried everything

she leaves her key in the kitchen, and a note on the mirror
as she closes the front gate, her conscience is clear
she hesitates for a moment, but all doubt's disappeared
cause she knows she's tried everything
she's tried everything... oh... everything

if she had a good reason she could make her last stand
but she drives away.... no ring on her hand



Thanks for listening.
Comments encouraged.

floyd

Hi Floyd

Great song, as usual. I particularly enjoyed this couplet:

she promised to honor, trust, and obey
but they gave her no rules for when love slips away

Your vocals always impress us, as well as your arrangements. No exception here.

What was that high-frequency XF? not something I would have expected in this song, but it works perfectly. Thanks for a real sweet listen! Our ears are always smiling after listening to one of your songs.

Best to you,

Alan & Di

Thanks, Alan! What you are hearing is guitar (my Strat) with 2 different types of delay really pounding it....

Hey floyd!

Another mighty fine work to add to the fj songbook. I'm going to pop back a little later to talk about the lyrics. At the moment, though, I wanted to feel the thrill of posting early in a thread It's such a rare event for me!

I love the way you've used waltz RTs and have turned out something that has the rhythmical lilt I associate with 6/8 rather than a waltz.

Really enjoyable music!

All the best,
Noel

Hi Floyd,

We tried to post this earlier (we would have been the first to react) but couldn't log in.

We like this one very much, both the lyrics and musical arrangement.
That style you are using is quite similar to the one I used in Amanda.
The lead guitar also sounds very nice, particularly those high-pitched notes, they do create a very nice atmosphere in the song.
The lyrics then: quite a complete story we think. The reasons why she's leaving become quite clear throughout the song.

Very well done!
Rob & Anne-Marie

Beautiful job Floyd!! I tried to comment earlier but the site was down. Great combination of music and lyrics that perfectly delivers the melancholy emotion. One of my favorites of yours (although it is a pretty big list)!! Take care. Greg

Hi Floyd.

First thing I thought when I put this track on was "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers. So much so, that when the track finished I put Golden Brown on, but strangely it didn't sound at all like your song. Weird.

But hey, what another masterpiece you've crafted.

I always find it difficult to get a groove going in waltz time, but you seem to have managed it without any trouble. Listened to it twice now and still can't find even the smallest thing to criticize this time.

Going back for another try.

ROG.

Nice Song/Vocals, easy feel and well put together

Hi, Floyd !:))

One of your best, without doubt !:))
It is so good that I can leave
for Stockholm in a very fine mood !:))

Cheers
Dani

Another fj goodie. Keep 'em comin'!


Regards,

Bob

I thought I already commented on this song, but I don't see it.. so here goes again:

1) for some reason I PARTICULARLY like your lyrics to this song! I mean, I ALWAYS like your lyrics, but the rhyme and meter of these words works very well for me. And the story is very simply stated and masterfully delivered. Also, the alliteration was very effective as used. By that I mean that it ADDED to the mood of the song, it didn't come across as just as a song-writing device you read about and wanted to use in a project.

2) your use of the strat with very wet effects created a haunting and powerful motif in the background. I can see that being the identifying signature sound in the song when radio stations ask their listeners to identify your song from a sound byte.

3) Also by using something of your own as a key element in the composition, you instantly plow a whole new field . It is clearly NOT a combination of the same RTs the rest of us are using. It's new, different and therefore especially exciting.

4) in fact, I think the most original-sounding songs use BIAB for the rhythm parts (which always tend to be generic, even on pro songs... there are only so many ways you can strum a chord) then use your own signature passages for solos and decorations. Surprising how a few played tracks can make the whole song your own.

5) as far as the "sounds like" factor is concerned: the song that kept popping into my mind was Seger's MAIN STREET

6) The whole song developed a situation of futility which introduced tension, and subsequently the urge to "do something, anything, just fix this mess of a life"; but for me, the song progressed faster than my emotions could keep up. The strategic pause at the end provided just enough time for the emotional payload to finish "downloading"... then you provided the resolution. If that was your plan, it worked nicely. (Even if it WASN'T your plan, it worked nicely.)

7) I sincerely hope that the devil never approaches me with a deal in which he gets my soul in exchange for a few months of being able to do what you do.. because I'd probably go for it.

floyd, by now it is clear to all of us that you take great care in crafting your lyrics. This is another fine example of the high level of craftsmanship in your songwriting. Good choice of real tracks to set the wistful mood. Well sung and OH YEAH- live guitar. That helps to bring things to the next level. I am a big believer in signature licks. I believe it helps to identify a song quickly in the intro and can make an imprint in the listener's mind that makes it familiar and more friendly. Great production and mix as usual. The quality and quantity of your work never fails to astound me. Tom

hi Floyd great lyrics this is awesome tune love the guitar work very engaging the mix is clear nice work thanks for sharing eric

Floyd, great piece! I guess this is the song you mentioned in your comment on my recent post that you were working on incorporating the mandolin and style I used on my song. Even if not, it is a good example for me to study and absorb how you 'see' and incorporate it.

At the risk of going solo out on a limb here, in my opinion, I think this is your most original song you've posted since I have been on the forum. ROG says, "First thing I thought when I put this track on was "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers. So much so, that when the track finished I put Golden Brown on, but strangely it didn't sound at all like your song." One may feel elements of other artists influences in your work but in the end, it is uniquely you.

I really enjoyed the song and production. My thoughts on this particular song is the sum of all the previous posts made before I was able to get back on line. (thought PGMusic put me in time-out for being off key on my last submission)

This is one of my favorites.

Charlie

Hi Floyd,

great lyrics as always.
Good choice of real tracks as always.
Great vocals as always.
A live guitar which is capturing your attention: that's new.
Great mix as always.
Several enjoyable listens as always.
I've been a fan since September 2012 when I first heard one of your songs.

Guenter

Hey Floyd,

Loved the Bob Seger Main Street sound on the guitar and the intimate vocal was right in the pocket. Good write. AABA is such a great form when done well as it is here.

Josie

After listening several more times, I have two more observations to make:

1) at the 1:37 marker, you introduce another guitar briefly. It's the only place in the song you use it, and IMO, it isn't necessary. What you're already doing at that part is working very well, and after a few listens the changeup instrument started to become distracting, diverting my attention away from the interesting state of melancholy you had been luring my mind into.

2) at the end of the song, It might be interesting to hear a version in which you simply end the instrumental accompaniment when the final words are spoken (as opposed to coming back in to complete the logical progression.)

I think that would have the effect of leaving the song unresolved, which ending would be consistent with the disconcerting mood of the rest of the song.

(hey, you said comments are welcome... you never said they had to be any good)
;-)

Noel - I have to admit... most music terminology escapes me... I have no idea what 6/8 might sounds like...



Rob & Anne-Marie - thanks! I do appreciate that. I've started using Styles a bit more lately - I just poked around until I found something that seemed to fit this song as I play it on guitar and this was the result...



Greg - Thank you! (time for your next one, too....)

Hi Floyd,

I really like this song....it has a good flow to it and good lyrics....

Sometimes less is better....I heard a very high lead or backing track with tons of reverb that in my humble opinion didn't seem to fit the rest of the song....

This song has a country feel to it and I think you should strip it down a bit and give it a more natural or earthy sound...

Just trying to help...

Horst

Lots of good comments and observations already so I'll pretty much leave it at that.

I found myself wondering what, exactly, "He" was doing or not doing. I thought you could have put several lines in there describing somewhat of his behavior that lead her to that place and time. Just a thought for the future because I know you're not going to go back and rewrite a verse just for this.

Yes, I especially like the way you craft the meter of the melody in the lines.

The guitar at the beginning is off to a good start.... (talking about your live one) Not what I'd call a signature lick, but certainly a really appropriate intro fill. I tend to use fills a lot. Someone mentioned Bob Segar's Main Street.... Yes, now that's a superb example of a signature lick, it starts the song and shows up throughout the song. Toward the end it starts to variate a bit but keeps the overall feel and tone regardless. Wonderful Tonight is another great classic signature lick that plays throughout the song by Clapton.
On the lead in your song, as the song rolled on, however, I found the lead to be a bit distracting as it played behind the other tracks in a few places. It wasn't in too many places so it's not a big deal. It was more like a meandering series of notes relying on the FX for it's dramatic effect. The easy solution is to mute it in the balance of the song. However, I do think that a proper, nicely crafted signature lick for this song would really set it off nicely. Signature licks tend to be pretty simple melodic riffs that will fit well in numerous places in the song and gives it a musical cohesion apart from the lyrics or anything else.

As always, I'm picking out the really small details because everything else on this song is so well crafted.

Well done my friend.

ROG - Had to go find "Golden Brown", having never heard it. Towards the end of it I got the same type "feel" - so I see what you getting at... Thanks for the listen...



roy - thanks for the spin...



Now...where have I heard that before??? Have a great trip, Dani!

Hi Floyd
been a while -.
Another superb song. The lyrics are brilliantly incisive and they go so well with the tune, which has a slightly "jerky" sort of feel to the meter (dunno what you'd call it), as if she is feeling the hesitation.
cheers
Ian

Hey Floyd,

This is my favorite of all your songs... Sounds like something The Band could have recorded in the late 60s. Just great!

Bob

Tag! You're it! (BOB-song!!!)



Tom - Thanks for all that. All very nice. I appreciate it.



Thanks, eric!



Charlie - actually, this is not the one I was talking about. The other one uses the exact same style you were using. It will come later. Thanks for all the fine comments. Appreciate that.


Pat - I'll get to you...when I'm less tired - been a long day...

Floyd,

Please don't feel like you have to reply to my observations... that kinda turns what should be fun into a job, and I would hate for anyone to make THAT trade on my account!

I see and appreciate how respectful you are toward the people on the forum, addressing everyone as if they were the only one. That kind of interaction says as much about your humanity as your songs say about your creativity. You've set a very high bar in both arenas.


So let yourself off the hook... chill with the wife... relax... There's nothing you could say anyway that could possibly make me think more highly of you than I already do.

And now from the palatial Jane Studios comes another stellar production
by singer/songwriter, producer, arranger and engineer floyd jane.

Your songs have officially replaced my reference CD when I'm working
on a production. Heck, if I can't achieve what I'm referencing it might
as well be by somebody that I can ask a question

It's all been said in the many posts above. It's the real deal.

It got Janice waltzing around the room!

Bud

Hi, Pat! I know I speak for everyone when I say "It is SO nice to have you back in the Showcase on a regular basis!" Your song/performance assessments are interesting, insightful and thought provoking.


Thanks for all that. All of these things are important to me. And it is very important to be able to do them without the "effort" being obvious. A lot of what passes for "clever songwriting" is too obvoius - meaning, you "see the writer writing". That should not happen (unless you are writing those overly-clever songs intentionally - Tom Lehrer, for example).


You can find phrases within the RTs that you can use throughtout a song as a signature lick but you have to "do the work required" to paste it in appropriate places (and dig it out in the first place). So it is easier if you can play something. In this case, I wasn't going for a "lick" as much as a "sound". I am a big fan of Lee Brice's "Hard2Love" CD - both the songwriting and the production - and they use delayed guitars in this manner in several songs. I've been wanting to try that and this seemed like a good song for it.


Age-old formula. Problem-tension/chaos-resolution. Short stories, novels, TV show, song...


Pssst....hey...buddy...got a deal for ya...




I don't generally "plan" a lead section (just find a flashy Brent part!), but here, I sort of did. I wanted it to reflect the overall theme problem-tension-resolution. So I began it with the "sound" - similar to the opening (things as they had been) - brought in the banjo (tension developing) and finished with a "strong" guitar (the distorted one - I played that as well) as the "resolution" (it is intended to fit over the "sound"). I liked the result. And I'm fine with opposing views... I think the section with the 2nd guitar part removed is boring - see for yourself (below)....


I had that thought at one point, but rejected it (quickly). It is a very effective technique, but can easily sound "gimmicky" - and I think in this case it would. Her "drive away" is not just an end. It is a new beginning...

Just for you... I have done another mix - it's at the bottom of the song page below the lyric. I removed the second guitar in the lead section and removed all the instruments at the end. It's not a "careful" mix (there ought to be some "instrument ring" if it were done right) but it gives the idea... a bit over-dramatic, I think, and, therefore...gimmicky...
http://floydjane.com/Songs/Everything.htm

Very nice tune Floyd. Your lyrics pulled me right in. Excellent singing and playing..

this is the sort of thing that separates the pros from everybody else. I would make all the corny newbie mistakes. Thanks for taking time to explain why you made the choices you did... it really does help me to hear the song you hope we will hear instead of hearing some other song that yours reminds us of.

Also thanks for taking time to post the version I asked for! That's way above the call of duty~!

I have to admit, my Philistine sensibilities liked the second version. But, after hearing your explanations, I have a whole new appreciation for the first version.


well, that's a very kind thing to say, but... if anything, the past 3 weeks in this forum have pretty much reinforced what I already suspected. I'm no song writer, and I have no business offering my opinion on the creative efforts of others. Because all of my experience with BIAB/RB involves imitating existing works, I automatically gravitate toward ideas that are "old news", whereas the original song writer needs to resist that urge and do something recognizable, but new. My comments on this song illustrate the incompatibility of both perspectives. As long as everybody understands where my observations originate, maybe my reviews won't come across as being judgmental.

Floyd,

Good tune, good changes and the usual collar-grabbing lyrics. I'm just amazed by the studio-quality sound that you get. One day you'll have to give some details on your setup.

Dean

Guenter - I appreciate all those very nice comments. We sort of "got started" around here about the same time. It has been a fun, musical time. (I look forward to your next post...I've learned a lot from you).



Thanks, Josie.. as I worked on this, the "Main Street" thing had not occurred to me. It was more modeled on several current Country productions... it's all one big circle...



Horst - thanks for the listen. "Natural and earthy" is more of an old sound as far as country goes... I was after something a bit more ethereal..

floyd,

What can I say about your songs and production that I haven't said before?
Such a sad song but beautifully done, as usual.

Alyn

It's okay to wonder that, but the song is not about "what He was doing....".
(He's not abusing her.)
It is about a love that has faded and her reaction to that. Here are "clues"...
"but his love's grown cold....she can't understand"
"...they gave her no rules for when love slips away"
"...hoping he'll love her again"
"she's tried to bring back the romance"
"how could they let what they had slip right thru their hands"

If you spend "several lines" focusing the song in a different direction, you end up with an unfocused song. And probably too many verses and too long to keep your listener's attention.
The kinds of things that require rewrites to remove.
So, I doubt I will be doing that in the future, either...



This was not intended to be a "signature lick", but in fact, a sound (or FX as you noted) "...for it's dramatic effect" (as you also noted). The "signature" part of the production is the overall feel which has been noted by others. I understand your penchant for we-only-put-fills-in-the-holes production. But productions have evolved dramatically in the last 15 years (especially Country). Here is just one example (you will find similar "behind the other tracks" leads in a number of places throughout the song) :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN1jZaZbBhw


Thanks for the spin. And the thoughts.

Ian - thanks for dropping by for a listen...appreciate it!




HA! Thanks Bob... I never listened to The Band much (didn't much care for them - LOL)..



Bud - you are far too nice. But that best part was that Janice was waltzing to it...

Thanks, Scott... nice to see ya back around these here parts...



Appreciate that, Dean... I have given details on my setup in various threads... perhaps I'll collect them all sometime into a single thread... Thanks, again.

Hi floyd,

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to this! I promised I'd return but I didn't anticipate it taking quite so long.

Wow this is good! Incredibly good. You've pulled out all the songwriting tools with this one and you've crafted an outstanding work. The lyric, the melody, the harmony, the production, every aspect of this song focuses and magnifies the emotional intensity of the situation the poor woman finds herself in.

The fact that you don't finish melodic sections on the tonic note leaves the music dangling unresolved, like it's ended but not ended. What perfect prosody for the lyric!

As I mentioned in my original post, the lilt of this music has a 6/8 feel rather than a waltz feel (to me, at least). I've puzzled over that a great deal. A number of mornings as I've driven to work, I've found myself wondering, "When does 3/4 sound more like 6/8?" I've even taken some Strauss waltzes along with me to help me answer the question.

If you have a listen to the "Danube Waltz" at the below link, it's so easy to hear 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2-3 where each beat "1" is a strong beat. (After the introduction, you'll hear what I mean at around 1:30.)

• Blue Danube Waltz - Johann Strauss

Now when I put your song on, I sometimes hear 1-2-3 1-2-3, just like a waltz, but mostly I hear 1-2-3-4-5-6. The difference between these two time signatures is that in 6/8, beat 1 is strong and beat 4 is less strong. The other beats are all weak. The net result is that this time signatures goes "STRONG weak weak MEDIUM weak weak" at slower tempos. This alternating between STRONG and MEDIUM with a pair of 'weak' beats between gives me a kind of to-and-fro feeling, like swinging. This is what I call the 6/8 lilt (my terminology).

If you have a listen to the following 6/8 song sung by Il Divo, I think you'll hear the slow 6/8 feel as I hear it.

• O Holy Night - Il Divo

At it's faster tempos, 6/8 has a kind of swinging march feel. Sousa often used this (like below).

• Washington Post March - United States Marine Band

As you can see, there's been a lot of action on my car stereo

At the end of the day, the reason that I hear your song as 6/8 is mostly to do with the lyrics, I think. I'm still pondering this but it seems to my ears that your lyrics tend to have a word that attracts stronger stress on the first beat 1 and a word that attracts lesser stress on the second beat 1. In other words (no pun intended), your lyrics are following the "STRONG weak weak MEDIUM weak weak" pattern. While the accompaniment kind of alternates between a "Strong Bar" and a "Less Strong Bar", your lyrics definitely capitalise on this. The net effect of these lyrical and musical interactions is that the song sounds more 6/8 to me than 3/4. It's a great feel.

Phew! I'll be able to go back to listening to other stuff now! My car stereo will be thankful.

I learn so very much from your songs because you force me to think outside the proverbial box and that is incredibly valuable for me. Thank you!

All the best,
Noel

Floyd... if/when you do that, please put it in the next forum down from the user showcase.. the one named "RECORDING MIXING PERFORMANCE AND PRODUCTION" That way it won't scroll away so fast, and it will be located where people tend to go for that kind of information



EXCELLENT distinction, Noel! That's the most functional description I've ever heard! Thanks!

Floyd,

Country music is often about the tragedy of love lost. I've come to think of you as the ambassador and spokesperson for those emotions.

You are able to write at the "gut level", rip hearts out by the roots, then have the listeners thank you for the emotional ride...the wonderful experience.

I thank you for the fabulous "ride" of this and all of your songs.

If men "ain't supposed to cry!" then why do we have tear-ducts? You have frequently flushed mine. Thank you.

Lyrics move me so I'll reserve my comments on the melody.

Another FJ keeper.

Regards,

Your old, badly bent Irish friend, Don

Yes indeed, another hit. I found myself focusing on the tension between the vocal melody and what was happening with the chord changes. Like they didn't quite resolve the way I was expecting. It sure works. It happens in the verse at "She's 'tried' everything." That and the big full sound.


When those guitars kicked in, my first thought was REO Speedwagon:)