Lay him in the ground.

Hi all.
Wrote this about four years ago.

I decided to have another go at improving it.
Ive added an extra verse.

You often hear country songs where a man kills his wife or girl friend.
So decided to write it from the reverse prospective.

I'm not sure if the Oohs and the gunshot at the beginning work?

https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob/lay-him-in-the-ground-1



She came along one evening from the southern part of town.
She seemed quite unsettles as her eyes kept darting round.
Mascara flooded from her cheeks onto her wedding gown.
She came to lay him in the ground.

She fell down onto her knees and looked towards the sky.
Then called towards the heavens oh! why my god oh! why?
Her grief was inconsolable her fists beat up and down.
She's sworn to lay him in the ground.

Bridge

At times it seems impossible when you've been dealt a hand.
Your grief can not be satisfied its like some twisted plan.
Begging of a journey that seems to know no bounds.
Today she'll lay him in the ground.

Fill

She found him in some tavern he was laying money down.
Then she produced a pistol from beneath her wedding gown.
It may seem impossible sordid and profound.
She's here to lay him in the ground.

The bullet met its target, straight through the ace of hearts.
He staggered straight toward as blood stained all the cards.
He tumbled like big oak tree as people stared and frowned.
Its time to lay him in the ground


At times it seems impossible when you've been dealt a hand.
Your grief can not be satisfied its like some twisted plan.
Begging of a journey that seems to know no bounds.
She came to lay him in the ground.
This day she'll lay him in the ground.
She came to lay him in the ground.

Title: Lay him in the ground1
File:Lay him in the ground.SGU
Key=C , Tempo 100, Length (m:s)=2:38
2 bar intro, 60 bar chorus, from bar 3 to bar 62. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Style is _RCKBLLY.STY (Rockabilly Band w BariGtr[100RS])

RealTracks in style: 2421:Bass, Acoustic, RockabillySlapBoomChicka Ev16 100
RealTracks in style: 2424:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm RockabillyBoomChickaKevin Ev 100
RealTracks in style: 2423:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockabillyBoomChickaBrent Ev 100
RealTracks in style: 2422:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm BoomChickaRootFiveBrent Ev16 100
RealTracks in song: 2008:Fiddle, Soloist CountryWorkinRob Ev16 090
RealDrums in style: BoomChickaEv16^01-a: Brush, Train, b: Rods, Train

Written BB and RB.
Mixed in reaper. Vocals my self

Hey Rob,

Everything about this song works for me - very cool Elvis meets Johnny Cash vibe. Great stuff!

Bob

Well done!!

The bullet met its target, straight through the ace of hearts.
He staggered straight toward as blood stained all the cards.
He tumbled like big oak tree as people stared and frowned.
Its time to lay him in the ground

Very strong verse! The gunshots were a plus!! Fun song. Take care. Greg

Thanks Bob.
Always appreciate your comments.
Rob.

Good write, Rob. I liked the oohs and the shot...

Good vocals. Sounds like Marty Robbins backed by the Statlers...

Nice instrument choices. I thought the panning was wider than it needed to be. The piano sounds hard panned to the left and guitar hard to the right. Pulling those in some would give you a "better bed" for your vocals (but that is simply an opinion...)

The overall sound is perfect for the song...

floyd

Rob,

A great country song!! Good beginning!

Thoroughly enjoyed that.

ALyn

Great story. This is a well written and performed song. It has a 1960's spaghetti western feel about it. I can easily imagine Roger Whittaker performing this one.


Enjoyed it.


Charlie

It's all already been said.
- well written
- cool vocal
- good use of sound effects
- nice selection of RT's

I agree with floyd that
narrowing the pan would
better showcase the vocal.
However, the wide pan does
fit right in with 60's mix
styles and that might be what
your are "shooting" at.

Enjoyed it!

J&B

Nailed it - the sound, vocal and lyric.

I'll agree with J&B that the wide pan has a certain "dated" quality to it, but it fits.

Hey Rob,

I liked this a lot.. I thought it contained a lot of cohesion throughout, and some interesting word play. I don't know if it was intentional to describe the woman's angst as her response to being "dealt a hand" as a parallel to shooting the man as he played a game of cards. Whether or not you intended it that way, it works.

I also liked the way you arranged each verse to logically end with some variation of the song's title. In order to do that you needed a LOT of words that rhyme with GROUND, and it would have been very easy to introduce awkward sentences in order to get the rhyme. I thought you did a remarkable job of keeping it natural and avoiding any combination that sounded contrived.

I liked the shots... it added some shock factor to what might otherwise have just come across as a story. But, in that context, the shot could have been louder.

The photo to the right of the song is perfect!

Although songs like this don't show up on the radio much anymore, there seems to be a resurgence of songs like this at music festivals... but in that context there tends to be a lot more soloing of various instruments.

All in all, I'm very impressed with this song! Good job all 'round!
You should be playing live.

Hey floyd.
Thanks for your comments.
I played around with the pan settings just for something
different.
I will most likely correct that.
Thanks again.
Rob.

Thank you for your support and comments Greg.
Rob.

Hello Gibson.
Glad you enjoyed the song.
Rob.

Thanks Charlie.
Rob.

I liked it. I think I'd like to hear the lyrics a little more in the foreground of the mix.

Hi Rob. Really great voice you have for this type of song. I enjoyed the listen very much. Good job!

Rob,

I really like your story-telling abilities. Strong write, and your voice really fits this one. Thanks for sharing it!

Steve

Hello Janice and Bud.
Many thanks for your helpful comments.
Rob.

Hi David.
Thank you for commenting.
Rob.

Hello Pat.
Thank you for another in depth observation.
I always find your comments very encouraging.
Thank you my friend.
Rob.

Ahhh yes! Marty Robbins vibe.
Very very well done.
I love this stuff.
A minor niggle.
Frowned seems a bit of an understatement to me.
Cheers.

This is superb work in every way; thanks for sharing!

Thank you for the suggestion Lambada.
Rob.

Indeed, a very good voice. You know how to produce them country songs.

Good listen!

Fred

Just a fun write all around! Love that Boomchicka beat. Great song!

Hello Josie.
Thank you listening.
Rob.

Hello Steve.
Thank you for your encouraging comments.
Rob.

Hello RichMac.
I think I almost run out of wind when I got to "Frowned".
Appreciate you pointing it out just the same.
Rob.

Cool story song and like that vintage vibe - well written and very nicely produced.

Enjoyed it very much.

Josie

Thank you PgFantastic.
Rob.

Hey Fred very encouraging comment thank you.
Rob

hello Gruverider.
I love the Boomchicka beat also.
Tempted to write every song in that style.
Hope PG bring out some more variations of that style.
Rob

Hi Josie.
Thanks for listening.
Rob.