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Posted By: olemon Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/25/15 09:42 AM

https://youtu.be/4fcpchmUmVM

Sharing this rough cut of the second song I ever completed. At the time of writing, the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial was being completed/dedicated/opened to the public.

I hoped to have a BiaB version last year, but never got to it. I've tried various RT's, but nothing seems to fit. Yes, it could use bass, maybe a violin, and I've always wanted military style snare drums during the bridge.... I'm open to suggestions.

But, this is just me, a two-take with little processing in all its imperfection. I did sprinkle in some harmonies with Nectar 2. The ending is too brief, my fault for not letting the guitar note sustain.



MONUMENT

Copyright © 1986
By Scott H. Olson

Chorus

THERE’S A MONUMENT IN THE CENTER OF OUR TOWN
PEOPLE TALK IN WHISPERS THERE, WALK SOFTLY ON THE GROUND
UNDER THE PEACE OF THE OAKS AND SYCAMORE
IT CARRIES THE NAMES OF THE ONES WHO FELL IN WAR


WHEN HE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, TIMMY STOOD WITH THE REST
WATCHED AS THEY UNVEILED OUR MONUMENT
THERE NEAR THE TOP OF THAT POLISHED MARBLE STONE
WAS THE NAME OF HIS FATHER, TIM HAD NEVER KNOWN

Release

TEARS FELL ON THAT DAY, AS A HUSH WENT THROUGH THE CROWD
WHEN THE TEARS DRIED AWAY, THERE WAS TIMMY STANDING PROUD

LIFE IS HARD FOR A BOY WITHOUT A DAD
WHO’S TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, YOUNG BOYS ALWAYS HAVE
MANY A NIGHT TIMMY CRIED HIMSELF TO SLEEP
WHILE HIS MOTHER PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD EASE
THE PAIN HE FELT SO DEEP

AS HE GREW TO BE A MAN, TIM BEGAN TO REALIZE
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN FREEDOM, WHY IT’S WORTH THE FIGHT
HE UNDERSTOOD THE REASONS FOR HIS FATHERS LIFE LAID DOWN
AND HE WEPT AT THE MONUMENT IN THE CENTER OF OUR TOWN

Bridge

FAR AWAY ANOTHER WAR RAGED ON
ANOTHER FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
TIMMY KISSED HIS MOTHER’S CHEEK, GOODBYE
A TEAR ROLLED DOWN HER FACE, HIS BUS ROLLED OUT OF SIGHT

Repeat Chorus
Posted By: PRADON Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/25/15 10:02 AM
Hello Olemon,

a real moving song, of remembrance

Regards
Posted By: Janice & Bud Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/25/15 11:20 AM
Great tribute! Don't worry about the nits.

My best friend's name
is finally on that monument. His remains
were IDed many years after his helicopter
went down.

Thanks for posting this.

J&B
Posted By: boehm Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/25/15 01:45 PM
Hi Olemon,

great tribute. There is nothing in the song
that really disturbs.
Enjoyable listen.

Guenter
Posted By: Greg Johnson Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/25/15 05:07 PM
Very nicely written song, Scott!! I like the way the melody climbs through the first 3 lines of the verses-interesting idea. The simple arrangement works very well. When this track ended, another one of yours began and had a mandolin. It occurred to me that mandolin might work very well in Monument. Just a thought. Nice work! Take care. Greg
Posted By: gibson Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/26/15 03:46 AM
Good tribute to the fallen.

In 1966 when I was a kid at a private boarding school in the UK we had an American exchange student, Doug Hamlyn, who after a year went back to the US because we were told that he had been called up to fight in Vietnam and we heard no more.
I have often wondered what happened and this Remembrance Day reminded me of him.

And as Janice and Bud said
Quote:
Great tribute! Don't worry about the nits.


Alyn
Posted By: Charlie Fogle Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/26/15 09:11 AM
A moving tribute. Very nicely done- a simple message presented in a simple arrangement. Powerful result.


Charlie
Posted By: tommyad Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/26/15 09:51 AM
Scott, This is a very good write. Perfect contribution to Memorial Day. Nice tribute. Tom
Posted By: olemon Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 05/26/15 11:36 AM
Originally Posted By: PRADON
Hello Olemon,

a real moving song, of remembrance

Regards


I appreciate that. Thank you.

Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Great tribute! Don't worry about the nits.

My best friend's name
is finally on that monument. His remains
were IDed many years after his helicopter
went down.

Thanks for posting this.

J&B


Thank you. The Vietnam Memorial was in the news regularly back then, but from Hawaii to Maine, monuments or memorial parks can be found in nearly every community honoring the fallen, like your friend. So much to endure, past, present, and future.

Originally Posted By: boehm
Hi Olemon,

great tribute. There is nothing in the song
that really disturbs.
Enjoyable listen.

Guenter


Thank you.

Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Very nicely written song, Scott!! I like the way the melody climbs through the first 3 lines of the verses-interesting idea. The simple arrangement works very well. When this track ended, another one of yours began and had a mandolin. It occurred to me that mandolin might work very well in Monument. Just a thought. Nice work! Take care. Greg


I experimented with mandolin and nearly went with that and/or rhythm and solo violins. One day I'll try again. Thank you for listening, Greg, and for those nice compliments:)

Originally Posted By: gibson
Good tribute to the fallen.

In 1966 when I was a kid at a private boarding school in the UK we had an American exchange student, Doug Hamlyn, who after a year went back to the US because we were told that he had been called up to fight in Vietnam and we heard no more.
I have often wondered what happened and this Remembrance Day reminded me of him.

And as Janice and Bud said
Quote:
Great tribute! Don't worry about the nits.


Alyn


Thank you for listening, Alyn, and for that personal story.

Originally Posted By: c_fogle
A moving tribute. Very nicely done- a simple message presented in a simple arrangement. Powerful result.


Charlie


Thanks, Charlie. I was trying to keep it simple. I'm glad that resonated with you.


Originally Posted By: tommyad
Scott, This is a very good write. Perfect contribution to Memorial Day. Nice tribute. Tom


With humility, thank you, Tom.
Posted By: Jim Fogle Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/03/15 09:23 PM
Wonderful tribute.

Most people do not remember, or are not aware, how controversial and divisive "The Wall" was in the beginning. The story you told in your song happens during every war and is still happening today.
Posted By: SpaceDog Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/03/15 10:48 PM
Hi Oleman,
First off, thanks for writing and posting such a wonderful tribute. They say patriot songs are difficult to write. I have a feeling this came to you pretty naturally. You and hear the truth and sincerity in your voice.
Lots of differebt ways you can go with an arrangement but I'd suggest keeping it simple so people focus on the lyrics. I've got a couple of patriotic songs on my website. I was going for a different feel so the arrangements are rather lavish.
By the way, I frequently visit the Viet Nam memorial in DC since I live nearby. You nailed the feeling in your first verse.
"PEOPLE TALK IN WHISPERS THERE, WALK SOFTLY ON THE GROUND"
Please let me know when you post your final mix.

DC SpaceDog

www.soundclick.com/dcspaceog
Posted By: dcuny Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/04/15 02:36 AM
I agree with Charlie - this simple arrangement serves the song well.

While I could easily imagine many things that you could do the polish it: a swell of strings, fife and drums, a lonesome fiddle at the break, a bugle call at the fade.

But none of that's really necessary.
Posted By: PatrickH Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/04/15 05:32 AM
Oleman,

I enjoyed this very much. I understand there is a traveling wall now that tours the nation. Like some others i liked the simple instrumental arrangements and the vocal/harmonies. Thanks for posting it for us.
Posted By: chulaivet1966 Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/04/15 11:08 AM
Originally Posted By: olemon
Sharing this rough cut of the second song I ever completed. At the time of writing, the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial was being completed/dedicated/opened to the public.


A sincerely delivered tribute.
The vocal is up front and personal and works well with the acoustic axe.
Well done.

Gibson:
I checked The Wall for Doug (and Douglas) Hamlyn and his name did not come up.

Carry on....
Posted By: Guitarhacker Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/04/15 12:46 PM
Nice
Posted By: dani48 Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/04/15 03:42 PM
Scott, This is a very good write. Perfect contribution to Memorial Day. Nice tribute. Tom


Hi, Scott !

Tommy said this better than I could do !


Cheers
Dani
Posted By: olemon Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/11/15 09:53 AM
I'm catching up and didn't realize there were more comments on this. Apologies.

Originally Posted By: JimFogle
Wonderful tribute.

Most people do not remember, or are not aware, how controversial and divisive "The Wall" was in the beginning. The story you told in your song happens during every war and is still happening today.


Thank you, Jim. It was my intent that the song be about more than one place or one event. I'm glad you made that connection.

Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Hi Oleman,
First off, thanks for writing and posting such a wonderful tribute. They say patriot songs are difficult to write. I have a feeling this came to you pretty naturally. You and hear the truth and sincerity in your voice.
Lots of differebt ways you can go with an arrangement but I'd suggest keeping it simple so people focus on the lyrics. I've got a couple of patriotic songs on my website. I was going for a different feel so the arrangements are rather lavish.
By the way, I frequently visit the Viet Nam memorial in DC since I live nearby. You nailed the feeling in your first verse.
"PEOPLE TALK IN WHISPERS THERE, WALK SOFTLY ON THE GROUND"
Please let me know when you post your final mix.

DC SpaceDog

www.soundclick.com/dcspaceog


Wow. Thank you. I always pictured the song's setting as Central Park in Small Town, USA, but I whispered and walked softly too, when I visited the Memorial Wall.

Originally Posted By: dcuny
I agree with Charlie - this simple arrangement serves the song well.

While I could easily imagine many things that you could do the polish it: a swell of strings, fife and drums, a lonesome fiddle at the break, a bugle call at the fade.

But none of that's really necessary.


Thank you, David.

Originally Posted By: PatrickH
Oleman,

I enjoyed this very much. I understand there is a traveling wall now that tours the nation. Like some others i liked the simple instrumental arrangements and the vocal/harmonies. Thanks for posting it for us.


Thank you for the listen and for those comments, Patrick.

Originally Posted By: chulaivet1966
Originally Posted By: olemon
Sharing this rough cut of the second song I ever completed. At the time of writing, the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial was being completed/dedicated/opened to the public.


A sincerely delivered tribute.
The vocal is up front and personal and works well with the acoustic axe.
Well done.

Carry on....


Thank you, Sir.

Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Nice


Thanks for the listen, Herb:)
Posted By: RnAM Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/11/15 04:52 PM
Hi Scott,

A heartfelt and beautiful song. I am pretty sure that one of the Brent Mason country or fingerpicking RT's will work with this.

Rob
Posted By: Curt Young Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/11/15 11:18 PM
Beautiful song, Scott... A captivating piece.

I agree the military drumbeat would be a great addition. I've looked for that myself for an intro to a song I've not been able to complete a track for, but had no success in finding.

This is certainly worth the effort.
Posted By: olemon Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/11/15 11:30 PM
Originally Posted By: dani48
Scott, This is a very good write. Perfect contribution to Memorial Day. Nice tribute. Tom


Hi, Scott !

Tommy said this better than I could do !


Cheers
Dani


Thanks for the listen, Dani:)

Originally Posted By: RnAM
Hi Scott,

A heartfelt and beautiful song. I am pretty sure that one of the Brent Mason country or fingerpicking RT's will work with this.

Rob


Appreciate that, you two. I've experimented some, have to revisit and see. Thanks for the listen.

Originally Posted By: Curt Young
Beautiful song, Scott... A captivating piece.

I agree the military drumbeat would be a great addition. I've looked for that myself for an intro to a song I've not been able to complete a track for, but had no success in finding.

This is certainly worth the effort.


Thanks, Curt. I was able to create some snare drum rolls with Addictive Drums, and then I was going to borrow a snare from a friend and record myself, not sure what I'll end up doing though. Good luck with your search.
Posted By: RichMac Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/12/15 04:13 AM
Hi Scott. I like it as is.
The minimal accompaniment focuses attention on the vocal and the lyrics.
Good one sincere and universally true. Cheers.
Posted By: floyd jane Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/12/15 09:57 AM
An excellent write, Scott. And a beautiful performance. Seems like a BIAB version would be pretty much a no-brainer - it does this type song easily...
Posted By: Rob4580 Re: Monument - for Memorial Day - 06/12/15 11:46 PM
Originally Posted By: olemon

https://youtu.be/4fcpchmUmVM

Sharing this rough cut of the second song I ever completed. At the time of writing, the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial was being completed/dedicated/opened to the public.

I hoped to have a BiaB version last year, but never got to it. I've tried various RT's, but nothing seems to fit. Yes, it could use bass, maybe a violin, and I've always wanted military style snare drums during the bridge.... I'm open to suggestions.

But, this is just me, a two-take with little processing in all its imperfection. I did sprinkle in some harmonies with Nectar 2. The ending is too brief, my fault for not letting the guitar note sustain.



MONUMENT

Copyright © 1986
By Scott H. Olson

Chorus

THERE’S A MONUMENT IN THE CENTER OF OUR TOWN
PEOPLE TALK IN WHISPERS THERE, WALK SOFTLY ON THE GROUND
UNDER THE PEACE OF THE OAKS AND SYCAMORE
IT CARRIES THE NAMES OF THE ONES WHO FELL IN WAR


WHEN HE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, TIMMY STOOD WITH THE REST
WATCHED AS THEY UNVEILED OUR MONUMENT
THERE NEAR THE TOP OF THAT POLISHED MARBLE STONE
WAS THE NAME OF HIS FATHER, TIM HAD NEVER KNOWN

Release

TEARS FELL ON THAT DAY, AS A HUSH WENT THROUGH THE CROWD
WHEN THE TEARS DRIED AWAY, THERE WAS TIMMY STANDING PROUD

LIFE IS HARD FOR A BOY WITHOUT A DAD
WHO’S TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, YOUNG BOYS ALWAYS HAVE
MANY A NIGHT TIMMY CRIED HIMSELF TO SLEEP
WHILE HIS MOTHER PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD EASE
THE PAIN HE FELT SO DEEP

AS HE GREW TO BE A MAN, TIM BEGAN TO REALIZE
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN FREEDOM, WHY IT’S WORTH THE FIGHT
HE UNDERSTOOD THE REASONS FOR HIS FATHERS LIFE LAID DOWN
AND HE WEPT AT THE MONUMENT IN THE CENTER OF OUR TOWN

Bridge

FAR AWAY ANOTHER WAR RAGED ON
ANOTHER FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
TIMMY KISSED HIS MOTHER’S CHEEK, GOODBYE
A TEAR ROLLED DOWN HER FACE, HIS BUS ROLLED OUT OF SIGHT

Repeat Chorus

Well constructed.
Excellent lyrics. Love your strong vocal.
Great work.
Rob
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