Hello folks,

Here is a country rock type song I just finished,

I just wonder

www.youtube.com/watch?v=duySFor8dyY]I just wonder remix (link no longer valid)

Took Floyds advice and told the band to play louder, Thanks Floyd

I just wonder

I’m looking for the sun but the sun’s gone down,
I’m looking for my lover but she’s not around,
What can I do I don’t know I just wonder,
I’m looking for someone to hold my hand,
But they don’t seem to understand,
What can I do I don’t know I just wonder.
Chorus 1
I wonder if there’s life on mars,
I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer,
To the things I need to know,
To show me the way to go
Oh I don’t know Oh I don’t know,
I just wonder.

I wonder if my world would come tumbling down,
If you didn’t come around what can I do,
I don’t know I just wonder,
I tried to call you at the midnight hour,
But you were busy in your ivory tower,
What can I do I don’t know,
I just wonder.
Chorus 2
They say there’s a God up above,
And he’s looking down on me with love,
But there’s a devil and she’s down here below,
She’s showing me a new and a different way to go,
How can I choose well I don’t know,
I just wonder.

Guitar solo

I’m waiting by the phone that never rings,
Am I just another one of your flings,
What can I do I don’t know I just wonder,
Starring into these empty walls,
Trying to make some sense of it all,
What can I do I don’t know,
I just wonder.

I wonder if there’s life on mars,
I wonder if somewhere amongst the stars there’s an answer,
To the things I need to know,
To show me the way to go
Oh I don’t know Oh I don’t know,
I just wonder.

Oh I don’t know,
What can I do,
I just wonder.


Style is =DARRL_E.STY (D.Ctry Rock, el.guit (120 RT))
Style MIDI Instruments are : Acoustic String Bass (33), Acoustic Piano (1), Acoustic Guitar (26),
RealTracks in style: 384:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Rock Southern Ev 120
RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^7-a,b:Snare, HiHat
realtrack 1515 brent .

Wish I had a better voice for this ...
All comments very welcome if you have time to take a listen.

Thanks
Musiclover

I enjoyed my listen of your song. Good choice of Realtracks and the vocals fit very well in the mix. Good job all around.


Charlie

They say there’s a God up above,
And he’s looking down on me with love,
But there’s a devil and she’s down here below,
She’s showing me a new and a different way to go

That verse could get you in a lot of trouble with the feminists. For my part, I very much enjoyed the song!! I feel it is very natural sounding with some nice heartfelt stuff in it. I like the feel of the vocal and the mix in general, although a little reverb on the vocal might be nice. This has a cool feel. Keep posting!! Take care. Greg

I enjoyed that a lot, it was almost hypnotic, in a nice way.

great rts and what sounded like the occasional doubling of the vocal was great.

Good to hear your accent shine through

A good listen

Alyn

Hello musiclover.
Found this an interesting write.
Great lyrics.
I feel you may need to try this in another key.
Over all very well done.
Rob

Hi Musiclover. I enjoyed the listen and the video. Well done.

Musiclover,

This is great! My favourite lines are...


That's a very sophisticated rhyme pattern you've used there. When 'stars' completes the rhyme with 'mars', you sail on past the natural close that rhyme brings and you complete the line with an additional phrase. Awesome! I've tried to accomplish this a couple of times in my lyrics but I haven't yet been as successful as I'd like. This type of rhyming puts you in the company of people like Paul Simon and Neil Diamond (see the choruses from "Homeward Bound" and "Solitary Man" below).



It's good to see you back in the forum.

All the best,
Noel

• latest song, I Can See Tomorrow

Thanks Charlie for having a listen and your kind comments, wanted a gritty rock vocal for this one and to be honest I feel mine doesn't do the job.
Thanks again.



Hey Greg thanks for listening, trouble from a feminists lobby is last thing I need, good job its not going to get many views on youtube probably would tell them to substitute a he for a she in that section.

As you say probably better to have more reverb on the vocals.

Thanks again



Hey Alyn,

Great to hear that you had a listen, and no doubt the accent brought back some memories from your old haunts when you frequented North London. Still learning this stuff with lots of inspiration from your songs.

Thanks


Hello Rob thanks for listening, Believe me I have tried this in a few different keys, what it really needs is a different singer....:)

Visited your soundcloud page recently and was blown away by how many songs you have there, you sure turn out the hits on a regular basis.
Thanks again




Thanks a lot Josie for taking the time to listen, really enjoy your stuff too especially that "fancy underear" song. Hope everything goes well for you in your "Save the Rhino" campaign.




Noel My friend thank you for having a listen too. Your abilty to analyse lyrics and the dedication you have given to songwriting always amazes me and then to give an example as in above shows yoru wide knowledge of music.

To be hones I though that the line "I wonder if theres life on Mars" was probably weakest line in song, I did try to think of something else but had to use it to link to amongst those stars conecept, but then you have gone and shown me the positive side of it, thank you

-----------------------------

Thanks to everyone for their kind comments, really appreciate all the pointers people gave me on how to improve. I know this song doesn't suit my voice but as Peter Gannon says I am having fun with band in a box.

Musiclover

I don't believe that, your voice will be part of YOUR style!!The "Music lover" style
I vaguely remember some of the early comments about my stuff and if I had taken notice of them I wouldn't have my "gibson" style, so stick at it, it's part of the craic.
ALWAYS read the advice given and ignore what you want, you can always regret it later

Your accent also reminded me that I haven't seen my little mate Tim for a while so will try and find him later. SO that's my evening ruined LOL if I can find him.

keep them coming

Alyn

Hi Musiclover,

this is the first song of yours that I hear.
Good choice of Realtracks. As Rob suggested I would
try it two or three semitones higher.
Enjoyable listen though.
Nice video.

Guenter

Thanks for listener Guenter.

Its in the key B at the moment.

Trouble is the top note in song chorus in Key B is Eflat "Amongst those stars" Eflat,Dflat,B) well over an octave about middle C, and I just about reach it. Another tone or even semi tone no way.

Maybe using Melodyne and pitch shifting a lower note it could somehow work I don't know, but to be honest probably not worth trying.

Glad you enjoyed the listen.
Musiclover

Ah just seen your post Alyn, thanks for coming back with the encouragement, the way I look at it is as someone who has seen the Irish showbands hundreds if not thousands of times, probably have seen them yourself as well, same principle applies to most groups.

The best singer is usually the best singer in band, most of the other members can pass themselves off singing a song, a lot good musicians but falling down a little on the singing side. So I can pass myself singing a song within my comfort zone, but at same time I know my limitations, well usually do when I hear my recorded voice.

But as you say its part of a persons style (wise words) and I enjoy it, its a nice feeling to finish a song.

Wish I could churn the songs out as fast as you Alyn, that creative spirit seems to be working overtime with you these days.

Thanks to everyone for advice.
Musiclover

"but at same time I know my limitations"

And therein lies the key to being a good singer. Every singer
(sans melodyne) has limitations and learning to recognize them
and focus on working within those limits is IMHO what makes
singers interesting. Some of our absolute favorite singers
have funky voices or limited ranges or both but we love
them because they sing with soul and conviction.



Greg pretty much hit right on our feelings. Keep doing what you are
doing and don't sweat the voice. I'd rather hear a "soulful heartfelt
voice" than a gritty rock voice going through the motions. And like
Greg said throw in some reverb on the vocal or better yet get
a vocal effect suite like Nectar 2 and find what works best for you
voice. Not to really change it but enhance what you like about it.

We enjoyed the song!

J&B

Musiclover,

You have a fine singing voice - let us hear more of it...

The backing tracks sound good - especially right at the start... then it seems like you dropped the whole band down considerably - I assume to get the vocal "out front". I would like to hear what it would have sounded like if you didn't do that... I think the vocal would have sat in the mix nicely just adding it in to what you had...

It only took one listen through to get your tune stuck in my head - that's a great thing...

floyd

Thanks Janice and Bud for taking the time to listen and for your advice as regards vocals. I have nectar but going through the presets in the past haven't found anything that made it sound better, maybe its time to have another look, or should that be listen.

This is what makes this forum so worthwhile to get feedback, from people such as yourselves who live and breathe music and to get good advice as regards recording and vocal techniques.

Really appreciate it,
many thanks
Musiclover

Hey thanks Floyd for having a listen, yes you are right I did drop the band down ....probably a bit too much it seems.

Will regroup the band to a group bus in Cubase and do a quick level check against the vocal to see how it goes.

Congrats on your new cd, more excellent songs from the maestro himself.

Thanks again for your advice
musiclover

+1. I agree this is a good write. It is catchy, but I think it needs to be transposed up a bit. I really enjoyed it. Tom

Nice fun song; thanks for sharing!

Thanks Tom for having a listen, pleased you find it a catchy enough tune.

Unfortunately transposing it up is not possible for me (though probably not apparent on first hearing song) as its in Key B and the lyrics in chorus (amongst those stars) have notes Eb Db and b the Eb being an octave + 3 semitones above middle c, just about reach that Eb.

Thanks for having a listen.
Musiclover

Glad you got enjoyed the listen PG, thanks for dropping in.

Musiclover

Very nice tune . Well done

I've found the "soulful and natural" preset to be a great starting point for vocals unless you are really going for a rock sound and then the "rock bite" is a good place to jump off...but I don't know if you are using Nectar 2 or not. And, hey, thanks for the compliment but we really don't spend a lot of time making music. So take any advice from me with the proverbial grain of salt.
Again, nice song!

Hi Musiclover !:))

What a very sweet and nice tune
you´ve written and performed !
I liked it truly much !

Cheers
Dani

Thanks for having a listen Scott and your nice comments.

Take care




Thanks Janice and Bud for the follow up about nectar 2 which I do have, will certainly experiment more with it especially the presets that you mention.

Thank you




Thanks Dani for your comments which are very much appreciated, looking forward as well to your next masterpiece on the user showcase.

Musiclover

Nice song.

Although this stuck out like a sore thumb:

I tried to call you at the midnight hour,
But you were busy in your ivory tower,

You want to avoid cliches like the plague. (See what I did there? I'm a horrible, horrible person. )

I'll join the group in saying not to sweat your voice, but still try to present it in the best light. Pitching the song up a bit forces a bit more breath support and gives clearer pitch. Two birds with one stone! (OK, I'll stop already. )

Seems like I'm spending a disproportionate amount of time whining about a song that's actually rather good.

I really appreciate you taking the time to have a listen David and your comments. I also appreciate someone being totally honest (instead of praise praise its perfect) that is the only way I can improve my writing and recording techniques.

This key b does seem a bit low and you would think I could move it up a tone or so, but highest note in song (amongst those stars) is actually Eb an octave and 3 semitones above middle C just about reach it.

Once again appreciate your listen and honesty.

Musiclover

Music lover,
Very enjoyable. Like other noted, the RT choices fit the song well. Your vocal took me back to the Galtymore.

The remix is great!

Do not worry about your voice as it sounds great to me! Your lyrics are great also and I liked the backing tracks.

This is one good song!

Thanks a lot for taking time to have a listen Patrick and your comments really appreciated.




Hello Mario,

Good to hear from you and thanks for all the nice comments. I always remember that you have given me encouragement with all the songs that I have a go at, Hope everything is well with you.

Musiclover

Musiclover,
I loved the lyrics. It's great when we get passed our inhibitions and write what we really feel. Good job.
SD

What a cool song and video. Some fine lyric writing and a breezy melody sung with feeling. I enjoyed it very much!

Hey SD thanks for taking the time to have a listen, glad you liked the lyrics.

I am always intrigued when I see your name as I believe you have something to do with the space program, another start trek fan here.




Good to see you had a listen Josie. As one of the foremost songwriters and singers on forum I really appreciate your opinions and input.
Many thanks

Musiclover