Hi everyone!

I am only new to this forum and relatively new to song writing and recording. I have recently uploaded my very first original song to soundcloud and I am looking for some feedback on it. If anyone has 3 minutes of free time, I would love to hear what you think!

Here is the link: https://soundcloud.com/ptcruiser1801/are-you-proud-of-me

Here is more information about the song:

I wrote this song a little while ago in response to seeing people around me going through some tough times with anxiety and depression and the struggle that they faced on a daily basis. Some of these friends I saw overcome their struggles and some didn't. The song hopefully reflects the persistent nature of mental illness. The 'Are you proud of me?' line reflects one particular person I know whose personal struggles related to never feeling good enough for anyone.

Here are the lyrics:

I see the road,
Narrow right before my eyes,
And in the dark,
The fading light is my disguise.

I hear a voice,
That familiar haunting sound,
It follows me,
I know no place it cant be found.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

I stand and wait,
To watch you walking right by me,
You think I'm gone,
My shadow isn't there to see.

I keep the faith,
My will is strong if I believe,
In time I'll know,
What I can and can't achieve.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Focus now,
You're reflecting your own dreams,
Broken Down,
Everything's not as it seems.

Weary eyes,
They've seen too much but cannot close,
Sunken Heart,
A lier reaps just what he sows.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

First song, eh? OK. If you say so.


Very sophisticated for a 1st song. Very nice. Looking forward to more!


Regards,

Bob

So.... what are the tracks used in this project?


Curiosity has me wondering.

Hi guys,
Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback!

90dB- Thanks so much for your comments! I will take your surprise and disbelief as a huge compliment! I appreciate you calling it a very sophisticated song...I have spent a good while fine-tuning each individual part recently so I really appreciate that. I have a few more songs I plan on recording and uploading soon. Thanks again

Guitarhacker- Are you curious about how I recorded the song? It was on garageband on an iPad 1st generation. There are 7 tracks in the recording- 2 guitar tracks, bass, drum track, vocal track and strings. Thanks for taking the time to write!

This was nice and a good first effort. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you soon. Welcome to the forum.


Charlie

Great style and i like the overall sound. Much too good for a first song. Cheers.

Very nice but from your response it's a Garage Band song not Band In A Box?

Outstanding work, outstanding lyrics; thanks for sharing!

Hi c_fogle,

Thanks for taking the time to comment...I really do appreciate it! I have a few more songs half finished at the moment and I will be sure to post them once I am happy with them! Thanks

Thanks Rickmac...I appreciate the compliment of you saying it is much too good for a first song...that means a lot to me! Thank you very much!

PeterF- Oh god i'm very sorry...I didnt realise this forum was for band-in-a-box only? Sorry about that...completely unintentional. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

PgFantastic- For anyone to say my work is good, I am delighted, but for you to say it is outstanding I am blown away! Thank you so much...I am lost for words (for once!!)