Are You Proud Of Me?

Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 09:05 AM

Hi everyone!

I am only new to this forum and relatively new to song writing and recording. I have recently uploaded my very first original song to soundcloud and I am looking for some feedback on it. If anyone has 3 minutes of free time, I would love to hear what you think!

Here is the link: https://soundcloud.com/ptcruiser1801/are-you-proud-of-me

Here is more information about the song:

I wrote this song a little while ago in response to seeing people around me going through some tough times with anxiety and depression and the struggle that they faced on a daily basis. Some of these friends I saw overcome their struggles and some didn't. The song hopefully reflects the persistent nature of mental illness. The 'Are you proud of me?' line reflects one particular person I know whose personal struggles related to never feeling good enough for anyone.

Here are the lyrics:

I see the road,
Narrow right before my eyes,
And in the dark,
The fading light is my disguise.

I hear a voice,
That familiar haunting sound,
It follows me,
I know no place it cant be found.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

I stand and wait,
To watch you walking right by me,
You think I'm gone,
My shadow isn't there to see.

I keep the faith,
My will is strong if I believe,
In time I'll know,
What I can and can't achieve.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Focus now,
You're reflecting your own dreams,
Broken Down,
Everything's not as it seems.

Weary eyes,
They've seen too much but cannot close,
Sunken Heart,
A lier reaps just what he sows.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?
Posted by: 90 dB

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 11:05 AM

First song, eh? OK. If you say so. wink


Very sophisticated for a 1st song. Very nice. Looking forward to more!


Regards,

Bob
Posted by: Guitarhacker

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 12:23 PM

So.... what are the tracks used in this project?


Curiosity has me wondering.
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 03:27 PM

Hi guys,
Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback!

90dB- Thanks so much for your comments! I will take your surprise and disbelief as a huge compliment! I appreciate you calling it a very sophisticated song...I have spent a good while fine-tuning each individual part recently so I really appreciate that. I have a few more songs I plan on recording and uploading soon. Thanks again smile
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 03:30 PM

Guitarhacker- Are you curious about how I recorded the song? It was on garageband on an iPad 1st generation. There are 7 tracks in the recording- 2 guitar tracks, bass, drum track, vocal track and strings. Thanks for taking the time to write! smile
Posted by: Charlie Fogle

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 04:52 PM

This was nice and a good first effort. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you soon. Welcome to the forum.


Charlie
Posted by: RichMac

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/09/15 11:39 PM

Great style and i like the overall sound. Much too good for a first song. Cheers.
Posted by: PeterF

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 01:30 AM

Very nice but from your response it's a Garage Band song not Band In A Box?
Posted by: PgFantastic

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 10:01 AM

Outstanding work, outstanding lyrics; thanks for sharing!
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 12:15 PM

Hi c_fogle,

Thanks for taking the time to comment...I really do appreciate it! I have a few more songs half finished at the moment and I will be sure to post them once I am happy with them! Thanks
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 12:16 PM

Thanks Rickmac...I appreciate the compliment of you saying it is much too good for a first song...that means a lot to me! Thank you very much! smile
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 12:17 PM

PeterF- Oh god i'm very sorry...I didnt realise this forum was for band-in-a-box only? Sorry about that...completely unintentional. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Posted by: PTCruiser1801

Re: Are You Proud Of Me? - 09/10/15 12:18 PM

PgFantastic- For anyone to say my work is good, I am delighted, but for you to say it is outstanding I am blown away! Thank you so much...I am lost for words (for once!!)