https://soundcloud.com/user-564042721/falling-into-the-west

I enjoy all things Western - movies, history & stories. This song is my first entry in the genre. More folk-rock than country, I think- it was fun to try and give a nod to the Irish heritage of the protagonist.(New Caledonia was the name for British Columbia in the early 1800`s).
I`m learning alot from all the comments and feedback; please don`t hold back!

Robert

RStyle is _12STACM.STY (Medium Country Boogie w/ Pedal S)

RealTracks in style: ~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1295:Banjo, Rhythm, ModernCountrySync Ev16 100
RealTracks in song: 2499:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm PopCountryBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: ~1119:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1878:Fiddle, Soloist CountryRob Ev 120 (Bluesy)
RealDrums in style: RockHardEven8^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride
ZeroG: Uillean Pipes loop


Falling Into The West
( Robert Cordrey, March 2016)


in a land that only borrows the sun
from under your pillow
from the gulls and the plough
on your dream`s horizon

in New Caledonia this myth of forever
I see your green eyes
in the high sighing pines
and the wild singing river

falling falling
falling into the west

I ran from the fever on a deadman`s horse
they say fortune favours a fool
paid insult with blood
saved a preacher from remorse

but the wrong upon wrong that led me to sail
still burns like the lightning
drunk under a moon
as red as your veil

falling falling
falling into the west

in a land that only borrows the sun
from under your pillow
I sleep fenced with fire
lie awake with a gun

oh once we questioned the stars
now new stars interrogate me
did we do right to promise?
and I stumble on this trail
snaking down to the sea

falling falling
falling into the west

This is a very strong and solid performance. Loved it.

Robert,

I really like the backing you've created for this. As the song developed, your performance got stronger and stronger. By the end of the song, I found myself really immersed in the sound and your singing.

For what they're worth, and because you asked for critical comments, here are some thoughts that occurred to me as I listened....

The first time through, I thought the vocals sounded slightly too out front. The second time through, though, I didn't hear this. I like the way you've set the refrain "Falling, Falling, Falling into the west" against the music.

While I wasn't quite sure how to make sense of the lyrics, from the prosody perspective of word-syllable strength being aligned to music-rhythm strength, your setting is first class. Your lyric imagery is really excellent and the words have some very strong internal sonic links (for example: the long 'i' sound in "high sighing pines"; the alliteration in "fortune favours a fool" - just to name two of the many). Your consideration of the juncture between words is also top notch. From what I can see, there are no consecutive words where the end consonant on the first word is the beginning consonant of the second word (such lyric events can sometimes be a challenge for singers to sing properly). Your attention to poetic detail is outstanding. I get the impression that you're very experienced at writing poetry and setting words to music.

All in all, I really enjoyed the musical journey you took me on!

Regards,
Noel

Hi Noel,

I`m a lover of words from childhood with some, but not much, poetry writing experience. Enjoying the sound of words and having things bounce around for days in the head can make it difficult to pare things down in a song; I think a little more nipping here and there in this song might improve it.
Really glad you enjoyed the imagery and felt the setting fit. I much prefer songs which are more impression than narrative, but have to remind myself that the impression has to make some sense to the listener without the "back story" they came from.
I appreciate the time you`ve taken to listen and thoughfulness of your comments.

Robert

Thank you!

Hi Robert,

very poetic. I enjoyed listening.

Guenter

hi Robert,

I love the concept of this song, and your lyrics are really interesting... full of visual images. The fiddle is used in a novel way, different than we normally hear it in contemporary music.

Of all the instruments in your mix I think the electric guitar matches the mood of the song best. It really shines in the mix.

There are times in the song where it sounds like the song has lost its key. I can't describe it better than that... maybe the chord progression forces notes that don't fit the key of the song, or maybe simply regenerating the real tracks until something more natural is played would be all it takes. I only mention it because I liked the song, but it was a little disconcerting to resolve the uncertain key as I listened.

Another nit is that the fiddle ended kind of abruptly. Again, the simplest fix would be to highlight the passage and regenerate until it ends a little more logically.

having said all that, I thought this was a very cool song, highly original and full of potential.

Robert you are a word master for sure! That in its self can make a song but your vocals and backing track take it over the top for me.

I also think the ending should be worked on, maybe fade the fiddle?
I did do not have any other suggestions as I think the rest of the song is A OK.

Great job on this one.

Hi Guenter,
I`m glad you enjoyed listening and liked the lyrics.

Robert

Hi Pat,
I really appreciate you taking the time to share your impressions of the song. I haven`t yet tried going back to basics with the song`s chord progression to see if I can hear something amiss there (could be as I did change a chord or two in the verses a few times).
Regenerating the Realtracks doesn`t seem to do much to produce a more comfortable fit to the vocals ( it does remove all my carefully toiled over volume nodes though, so I`m glad I have the original version saved !).
I tried many instrument combos before settling on the baritone guitar with fiddle & banjo - glad the sound is unusual.
I agree the fiddle ending is off- creating good intros & endings is part of the learning I`ve yet to get to grips with.

Many thanks again for your feedback,

Robert

That`s very kind, Thank you!
As said in my intro, this song is a venture into new lyrical territory so I`m happy the images worked.
Yes, need to rework that ending.

Robert

Nice and folkie Robert!

Robert,

A lot of interesting lines in this...like Pat, I liked the baritone guitar... the reverb seems a bit heavy - did you apply one to the whole mix or just the vocal? I works well for the chorus ("falling...") - I think if you pull it back on the verses, it would be a cool effect for the chorus, in contrast.

fj

Thanks for listening... I guess I am a folkie & will keep them coming!

Robert

Hi Floyd,
The reverb was only applied to the vocals, yes,to the whole track.
Your ear is infallible! I thought when I`d done the reverb "wish I could just use that on the chorus" & didn`t know how; thanks to your comment I`ve now figured it out, so your taking the time to give feedback is appreciated.

Robert

I really enjoyed it...thematically, melodically, vocally and lyrically. All of that

I do think the reverb (that appears to be on the entire mix) could be significantly reduced.


Nice!


J&B

Excellent tune. Loved the lyric. Great story. Well done

J&B,
Great that you enjoyed it!
I`ve put up a remix now with reverb only on choruses & bridge ( also had a stab at improving the ending).

Robert

Thank you Scott - especially that you heard a story in the lyrics.

Robert

Very cool song!! I think the arrangement and particularly the fiddle worked perfectly. Although the lyrics are quite abstract, there are some wonderful images. Nicely done! Take care. Greg

Thank you, Greg!

Robert, There are some interesting lyrics throughout this. You did manage to capture a western feel with the arrangement. I enjoyed it. Tom

Robert
I agree with Tom - very good imagery here.

Peter and Tom :

Thanks!
I`m glad the Western feel comes through.