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Posted By: David Snyder Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 04:32 PM
So Floyd Jane posted the first song he wrote, I think, in the Vietnam song, Unpopular Hero.

I found the first song I wrote, I think, when I was a teenager, called Out On the Lawn. It was about all the hurt and pain and I saw caused by people runnin’ around on their husbands and wives, lyin', cheatin’, gettin’ trashy and breaking up.

https://soundcloud.com/davidsnyderchannel/out-on-the-lawn


Floyd and I have the same old Yamaha acoustic from our childhoods, and I used mine to record this. It took me almost an entire summer cropping tobacco to pay for it. It is mic’ed with a Shure SM-81.

I remember when I saw that SM-81 propped in front of that old guitfiddle. I said to myself: Now this changes everything. And I haven't changed my mind.


Out on the Lawn

By David Snyder

V1

Tonight out on the lawn
The moon was on, sharp as a knife
And when it was gone
He wrote a song about the woman
In his life

V2

When the magic combination
Is beyond your fingertips
You break into hearts left open
And you take what you can get

CH

If there ever was a thief
This was him
If there ever was a fool
She took him in

V3

Tonight out on the lawn
He stands alone
A new face on
That young girl he was counting on
Has found someone new
Someone young and strong
Someone young and strong

CH

If there ever was a thief
This was him
If there ever was a fool
She took him in

V4

Tonight he’s all alone
In his big house
Without a wife
And that young girl he was counting on
Is moving on at the speed of light

CH

If there ever was a fool
This was him
If there ever was a thief
She took him in

V5

Tonight out on the lawn
The moon was on, sharp as a knife
And when it was gone
He wrote a song about the woman
In his life

All Music and Lyrics copyright David Snyder, ASCAP/Day of Faith Records.

David Snyder: Acoustic guitar and vocals.

RealTracks in style: ~2479:Bass, Acoustic, HeldSimple Ev 110
RealTracks in style: 1408:Piano, SynthLayer, Rhythm Soul70sHeld Ev16 100
RealTracks in song: 2509:Cello, Background PopEven Ev 120 (1TrackStringQuartet)
RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
RealDrums in style: CongasEv8[single]: a: More High Congab: More Low Conga

Posted By: BlueAttitude Re: Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 05:12 PM
Man! Good song, David, especially for the first one you ever wrote!

Guys like you and Floyd and a few others always blow me away with your songwriting skills.

The first semi decent acoustic guitar I ever owned was also a Yamaha BTW. I gave it to a friend of my daughters who was really into music but couldn’t afford a guitar, probably 30 years ago. (Still own my first decent electric though, ‘74 Strat smile

Good stuff, man! You are the real deal and I always enjoy hearing your work.
Posted By: floyd jane Re: Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 05:31 PM
Well. This is cool.

First song? How old were you? This is a pretty sophisticated first write.
(Unpopular Hero was far from my first. I wrote my first song at 14. It sucked.)

This has a real Neil Young flavor. Heady. You seemed headed to that Neil falsetto thing a couple of times...and it works. The melody is really nice!

That old Yamaha works nicely for this, too...

fj
Posted By: rsdean Re: Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 06:44 PM
David,

This is very cool for sure! Love the melody and lyric. I also really like the voice you are bringing out on this one - agree with Floyd on the Neil Young vibe.

Very much enjoyed!

Bob
Posted By: PeterF Re: Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 07:42 PM
David

Agree with the others a Neil Young feel to this one. Nicely done.
Very pretty melody and a nice choice of backing musicians.

Peter
Posted By: Scott C Re: Out On the Lawn - 05/31/18 10:46 PM
Lovely song David. Super vocal on this one. Loved the sound of your acoustic. Lyrics were very cool as well....
Posted By: Sundance Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 12:59 AM
Originally Posted By: rsdean
David,

This is very cool for sure! Love the melody and lyric. I also really like the voice you are bringing out on this one - agree with Floyd on the Neil Young vibe.

Very much enjoyed!

Bob


+1 - my thoughts exactly.

A Yamaha was my first guitar too. The first song I ever wrote was a stinker.
Posted By: Noel96 Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 07:45 AM
David,

I echo what's already been said. This is a pretty amazing first song. The meter of the lines is short (most of them seem to be 2 feet) and I know from experience that getting the right words to fit into such a small region of sound takes its toll on brain power.

If I were to write lyrics using your metric scheme, I'd be pulling my hair out by the end of the first chorus. What looks simple and straightforward is often a major challenge. For this reason, I get the impression, rightly or wrongly, that you spent quite a bit of time on these lyrics and massaging them into the poetic meter.

I enjoyed the listen.

All the best,
Noel

P.S. I didn't try writing lyrics until mid-2000 so I was pretty late when it came to writing songs (other than instrumentals).
Posted By: Tano Music Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 10:05 AM
Hey David, enjoyed listening to this blast from the past… Showed a lot of insight into the challenges, difficulties, pains of adult life. Thanks for sharing.
Posted By: cliftond Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 11:05 AM
Oh yeah, I love this, true songwriter from the beginning!!!!, that is the way songs should be now. I wish I had my old Montgomery ward acoustic, I had in high school, my treasure, so good you guys still have those early acoustics. I backed over mine one night forgetting to put it in the trunk. Great song David!!!! good memories here
Posted By: Robertkc Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 07:32 PM
David,

Very cool to hear the feeling you put into this- both in the writing back then and your fine vocal now.
Commitment and passion evident from the outset.

Robert
Posted By: rayc Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/01/18 08:35 PM
Vocally rather similar to some of Greendale.
Lyrically closer to Harvest Moon.
A lovely idea to set your history in a modern form for preservation.
Posted By: Janice & Bud Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/04/18 01:00 PM
Cool song and a cool backstory to go with it.

You guys are amazing. I was forty something when I first attempted song writing and it sure as hell wasn't anywhere near as good as this! Light years away.

We like Neal and we like this.

Thanks for bringing it back and sharing.

J&B
Posted By: David Snyder Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/06/18 06:44 PM

Thanks Dave! Yeah you just can't do better than a good old Yamaha and a mic.

Glad you liked it man!
Posted By: David Snyder Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/06/18 06:45 PM
Thanks Floyd, buddy. I was pretty young. Still a teenager.

Got another one of those from that era coming soon.

Don't you love those old Yamahas man.

Really dig your new Montana song by the way.
Posted By: David Snyder Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/06/18 06:46 PM
Thanks Bob!
Posted By: David Snyder Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/06/18 06:46 PM

Hey thanks Josie! That really means a lot. I am very glad you liked it.
Posted By: animarorecords Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/07/18 04:01 AM
Hello, David

This is very precious.
I agree with floyd.
First song? How old were you? This is a pretty sophisticated first write.
I can already feel a glimpse of your stuff.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi
Posted By: Torrey Bliss Re: Out On the Lawn - 06/08/18 08:33 PM
Nice job of reaching into the past a retrieving a gem David! The old acoustic sounds pretty good too! Thanks, Torrey
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