I put this in the wrong forum....I'm an idiot.

Well....

It's been a while but I've just finished up this one for now.
I've been six weeks on it so I need a break and thought I'd throw this into the forum and see how the mix translates on your system.....even if you think the song sucks. smile
My recording space is small so I only have my Tascam S1010m's near fields....Rockit 8's are in storage.

Subject?....my brief take on no such thing as a perfect world.
Drums - BIAB
Lead Guitar - BIAB....Mark Knopfler style
Congas - Me on Roland MBD-1
Bass - Me on MBD-1
Rhythm guitar - ME on acoustic
Vocals/harmonies - Me (sorry :))

I'm always subconscious about my vocals.....but, we work with what we have (or have not).
I kept it instrumentally lean intentionally....not my normal approach, I might add.
It has this swampy, haunting sort of rhythm to it.
It's too early to say I'm actually done with it.
I always revisit trying to make the vocal performance better.

To any that gave a listen....I thank you and hope it was worthy of your time.
I know....."one best have the skin of a snow tire" if one puts their efforts out for the world to scrutinize".
I'm trying to recall the forum member turkey that always says that. smile

Carry on....
https://soundcloud.com/chulaivet1966/youre-looking-for-a-world
https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13837279

"You're Looking For A World"

Verse 1
Looking for a world without locks or keys.
Looking for a world without cops or thieves.
Realize it’s just a bright illusion.
Verse 2
Looking for a world, no stress and no strain.
You want to know pleasure, you need to feel pain.
Desperate to believe Utopian delusions.
Chorus (music only)
Verse 3
A prisoner needs his bible, the cripple needs his cane.
You’re living in a dream, through a fog in a maze.
Slaved to a fantasy and just can’t escape it.
Lead (verse music & chorus music)
Verse 4
If you're living in the jungle, learn to run and where to hide.
Life is always a struggle to survive or you die.
It’s bitter...it's sweet, accept and embrace it.
Chorus (music only)
Vamp to end

I think it sounds like a finished song and I really like it. It is a very nice chord progression and there's a good overall dynamic between your voice and the instruments.
It wouldn't have hurt if you had continued with the line "You're Looking For A World" a few times more towards the end of the song, because it is a great groove...

Very good job and I'm glad that you chose to share it with us.

Will

NB: You might want to fix the link to SoundCloud as it does not work correctly. Fortunately the link to SoundClick is fine!

Howdy Will...(link fixed in original post...I'm an idiot)

Thanks for chiming in and the kind words.
I know my material is not in the main stream here so I appreciate the listen and commenting.

Funny you say that....I took out two of the "Looking for a world" phrases last night just before I exported to MP3 because I thought I was overstating the lyrical motif.
Plus, I thought it would allow more focus on the lead guitar part.
The 'groove' worked well according to my aural receptors too....I got lucky.

Thanks again Will....

The lyrics seem quite poignant. Thanks for taking the time to share.

You've written a good song here...
Good lyrics...
Good vocal...
Good background tracks...
Good feel...
Good flow...
I enjoyed listening to your song.

Nice job on this! The guitar work on this insane, and I personally really enjoyed your vocals on this. They sound natural, and laid back. It fits the mood of the song perfectly, and is a great instrument to delivery the lyrics.

I think you did an excellent job all around - thanks for sharing

Howdy Ember....
Chuckle.....yes....one could say the lyrics are "poignant".
Fleshing out the lyrics wasn't an easy task.
It never is for me.

Howdy Jim....
Thanks for the break down of very kind words.
Of course, the subject may not be appealing to many.
But...I just called it as I see it.

Deryk....
You're too kind also.
I always think my voice sounds like a dull chain saw so I thank you for the vocal comments.

Thanks again to all for giving it a spin even though the subject is less than conventional.
Hence, I gave it some thought for a while prior to posting it.
Then I thought....'what the heck'.

A good day to all....carry on.

Nice one Will, well produced, sung and arranged

Furry....

Thanks for taking the time to give it a spin and kind comments....it's appreciated.

Hope all is well.

The mix sounds good to me. Your rhythm guitar sounds great and the Knopfler guitar fits well in this song. I had no problem with the vocals. Sounds fine. Thanks for putting the song in the right place, wo we all can have a listen.

Sounds good, Wayne.

Nothing wrong with those vocals... bring them up a little...

fj

Ezekiel's Storm...

Howdy.....thanks for listening and the kind words.
This song writing stuff is not easy for a creative wannabe like myself.

Floyd....
Huh!...."bring 'em up a little"?....my vocals!
You're scaring me.

I been pondering over the last few months if I had any original song ideas left being on the cusp of 72.
Then....then the phrase "You're Looking For A World" popped into my pea brain.....and here I am.

Thank you both for spinning and generous words.....all is appreciated.

Carry on....

Wayne,
a gem! I liked it very much. Especially how you worked out pretty complex song into steady and easy to grasp chord progression. Guitar solo is great!

P.S. I agree with FJ, with upping vocals a bit.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Misha....

Thanks for giving a listen and glad you found it worthy of your time.

One never knows what others will think of their song so I did have to muster up some courage to post it.
OK...I'll revisit the vocals per suggestions in the next day or so.
I've been so immersed in this one it continues to ramble around in (what's left of) my neurons.

Thanks again....

Cool song!! I think the vocal could be a little louder with a bit more high end and less verb. Some really good lines in this! Nice arrangement and playing. Good job! Take care. Greg

Howdy Greg....

Damn nice of you to take the time to give it a listen.
You are #3 that state the lead vox needs a db or so of volume.

So...I plan on revisiting this one over the weekend.
I'm still trying not to think about this one for a few days. (can we say 'OCD')
I'm sure I'm the only song writer here who experiences this odd internal conflict.

Thanks again....much appreciated.

Great groove, the RT guitar and your guitar work really well together. I like the early Dire Straits feel of the song, also some Knopfler in your voice.

Janne

Howdy jannesan....

I wasn't sure what I wanted for the lead track as I was putting the song together.
I fumbled around in Real Band and stumbled on the Dire Straits lead and I didn't look any further.....it just seemed to fit well with the 'groove'.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment.

A good day to all....

Hi Wayne
Song
some nice images in the lyric
structure is simple and effective
Overall impression
Nice Dire Straits feel
Mix / Production
all sounded clear and well mixed - apart from the intensity and placement of vocals as has been mentioned by others
Instrumentation
simple and effective choices here
Vocals
a bit buried in the mix, but otherwise its well sung
What I really liked
Nice Dire Straits feel
Cool lead guitar playing (and not overplaying!)
What you might like to return to
the rhyme pattern is overstretched (by the time we get to ‘delusions’ we’ve already forgotten ‘illusion’ etc)


Funnily enough I have one on an almost identical similar theme !! and with pretty much the same conclusions!!
I won’t post the link here but those who are interested can just search my Sound Cloud for ‘Perfect World’

All the best, Marc.

Howdy Marc....

Thanks for listening and the detailed comments/observations.
I appreciate them all and see your point regarding the perceived 'overstretching' description.
I'll have to avoid that oversight on my next one.

Originally, I had completed lyrics written for the chorus which I was pleased with.
But...just before posting the mix I assessed the song again.
Hmmmm.....I culled them all and decided they were unnecessary and verbose with respect to the 'theme'.
(I'll use then in another tune :))

I know, my subject choice for this one is not a mainstream one.
Hence, I'll always be a song writing bottom feeder.

Thanks again....

This has a great late sixties vibe to it. Good song. I like it and would like to hear more of you on here. I'm listening on tablet phones tonight so I'll leave mix comments to others.

Howdy Josie....

I thank you for taking the time to listen and the kind comments.
Well....I'm old....and come from the sixties era so your comment stands to some reason.

Glad you didn't think it totally sucked.....I'm trying to keep some respectable distance from the 'you totally suck' genre.

Thanks again....much appreciated and hope all is well with you..

A good day to all.

You sell yourself remarkably short...we think it sounds very polished on the KRK's.

Somebody mentioned Dire Straits and we agree...definitely has that cool flow.

Regarding the gain of the vocal we hear it at that spot where it could move up a bit and not detract or it could stay where it is. Close call.

Nice production that we enjoyed!

J&B

Howdy J&B....

I thank you for taking the time to give it a spin and the kind words.
I'm glad to hear the mix translates well to your KRK's too.

I'm working on the vocals as I type.

For me....I have to sing it ad nauseum before I become actually comfortable with it so it sounds like a relaxed, deliberate performance.

Thanks again for listening/commenting.

love the groove, a toe tapper

rhythm guitar is relentless!

good mix

I really enjoyed the listen,

Kenny

Howdy Kenny....

Chuckle...'relentless'.
I kind of meandered into that addictive little rhythm 'groove' some months back while jamming with myself....it was good warm up and fun to play.
I just kept it in my creative sights until the right subject grabbed me.

Thanks for listening and commenting favorably.

Sounds good, like the Mark Knopfler real track and how you've used it in the song.
A strong composition overall.

Peter

Very cool tune. First think I got a Randy Bachman vibe to the song. I thought the vocal and lyric was great. Your guitar was fabulous. Well done

PeterF.....

G'day mate.
Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and generous comments.
Hope all is well in the 'land down under'.
Now...it's time to select another subject 'theme' for my next creative challenge.

ScottC...
I thank you too for giving it a spin and the kind words.
So far...no hate mail on this one....yet.


Thank you both again and a good (creative) day to all....

I agree! This is a great driving backing that gets the toes tapping in next to no time! I loved it. Your vocals are also excellent... bringing them up a couple dB would be well worth it I reckon.

I really enjoyed listening.

All the best,
Noel

G'day Noel.....

Thanks for chiming in and the generous kind comments.

I remixed last night....brought the vocal up 1db and EQ'ed a bit.
There were some low frequencies that needed taming.
I'll listen again today and re-upload.

Thanks again Noel....

OK...

Out of respect for those that kindly commented on the vocal volume I've uploaded a remix.
TBH...I might be losing some aural perspective (I'm sure I'm the only one who experiences that. :)) so to those that encouraged me to up the vocal I wouldn't mind a confirmation that I've not gone too loud.

NOTE: If you prefer, feel free to just PM me vs. bumping this thread again.
First song on the page: You're Looking For A World_remix
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/?bandID=897733

Thanks to all that kindly provided their thoughts/comments on this effort.

I keep reading comments about this have a Dire Straits vibe. So...this isn't Dire Straits?

No kidding, this totally has that Sultans of Swing thing going on without being a wanna be of that song.

Great use of all the instruments; which help lead to a cohesive sound. The drums made a nice bed with a cool groove.

I really liked it. Vocals were great by me.

What I loved was this was a song that on first listened; brought me back to a time I really like. Well done.

HTL.....

Thanks for taking the time to listen and the favorable comments.
I responded to your PM.

A good day to all....

This is good, your vocals are not bad at all. And I know what you mean ... I'm always very self-conscious of my vocals. There's always something they don't sound like that I want them to sound like. Ok, usually.

And I like the lyrics.

Howdy Phil...

Chuckle.....I hear you.
What I hear in my head always seems to sound far better than what I track.
A huge creative disconnect on my part.

I thank you for taking the time to listen and the favorable comments.

Have a good one....

I enjoyed the song, and agree that it's got a cool "relentless" drive to it.

Your vocals are fine, nothing to be self-conscious about. They're still a bit soft in the mix.

Well done.

David....

Well....I guess it's obvious I only raise my vocal in conservative increments.
I only raised it about 1db on the remix version and less reverb which gave it better clarity.
I'll have to revisit it again.

Thank you for taking the time to give it a spin and the favorable comments....much appreciated.

Feliz Viernes hente.....

The Mark Knopfler style is so unique and reconcilable that anything played with that style will sound reminiscent of Dire Straits. He is one of my favorite guitar players.

I though your lyrics were well suited to the style and the vocal delivery was good. I liked the song. For me, that is all that matters. I will leave all the technical comments to the "engineers".

Good job.

Billy

Howdy Planobilly....

Yep....no mistaking that Dire Straits sound.
I went through several lead guitar choices before getting to that one.
When I heard it....I looked no further.

IMO...to find the right choices for a song one has to listen to many instruments and style options.....BIAB is a program with great depth and countless possibilities.

Thank you for listening and the kind comments.

chulaivet1966, make no apologies man, you've got something great started here! Reminds me of a mix of Doors/Dire Straits. Vocals need to come up....I know you were a little self conscious about them according to your description and maybe that's why they are low in the mix....but they sound great to me! Very good tune and I enjoyed it! thanks, Torrey