One of those titles that won't leave you alone until you get it written...


COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES

she grabbed my beer off the bar
chugged half, set it back, said "that's a start"
dragged me to the dance floor by my shirt
like it was some kind of game
neon glitter in her hair
she danced like no one else was there
turned and kissed me on the lips
before i even knew her name
it's been a whirlwind since then
   
   coloring outside the lines
   is a given
   upsetting the apple cart
   her way of living
   the whoop, the wild, the woman-child
   what you see is what you get
   ain't met a rule she won't break yet
   hell-bent with the slightest hint of heaven
   coloring outside the lines a given

she'll do anything on a bet
dirt roads every chance she gets
a hundred miles an hour
radio as loud as it'll go
she loves a moonlit skinny dip
the taste of moonshine on her lips
no telling what she do next
even she doesn't know
she's a gentle rain, a hurricane
driving me insane


The BAND:
RealTracks in song: ~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1169:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockMediumBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 2499:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm PopCountryBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 3059:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Muted16thsFintan Ev16 080
RealTracks in song: 1257:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopShiningRock8ths Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1167:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockBalladBrent Ev 065
MIDI SuperTrack: 1804 Synth Pad, PopUplift Ev 120 - rendered with a Studio One organ (synth)
RealDrums in Song: BluesRockEv^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Open HiHat

harmonies: the janettes (a little bit of me, a lot of Janice Merritt)


Thanks for listening.
J&B - Thanks! (again!!!)
Comments, as always, welcome.
Have at it.

fj

Excellent write...
Strong & unusual hook...
Good vocals, harmonies, & production...
Great job on another one!

So I'm considering this for a template to use for your songs. I know some people use a "song formula," so why not a comment formula? This may REALLY speed up my ability to comment on your music. Here it is...



I'm sure I will have to do some editing; but it's a start. Rough draft complete. Now, I just need to make sure it says all I need it to. I am curious if anyone thinks I'm serious about this concept. lol

Anyway, in all seriousness. Another great song. I could go into many aspects of the song; but really would be repeating myself.

Thanks for making it and sharing it. Also, welcome back!

Another outstanding effort! I should just create a template response for any Floyd Jane song. They are all top shelf, outstanding productions of very well written songs!

I always look forward to hearing anything you post!

Steve

Floyd,

This is a great song... Love the storyline and of course the outstanding vocal.

As usual, your mix is pro all the way and the arrangement is fresh and contemporary.

So well done!

Bob

FJ & Janice

Very good easy listener. Compact, yet powerful. Production is exceptional!
I liked this:
"ain't met a rule she won't break yet"

Congrats to both of you!

P.S. Would like to hear more of Janice on this (volume/level wise), just a personal opinion.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

The rhythm section propels this at what appears a cracking pace.
Clever that the tempo seems faster than it is.
Narrative is cool, melody is cool, performances are cool.
The arrangement is ace as well.
The organ fade out is FABULOUS.
Yet again - classic.

Humor, Heart, and most of all Craft all blended together with an artist's touch!!! I love to pick out great lines for special recognition, but when they are all that strong, it's just too dang hard......like looking for a pretty girl at the Miss Universe pageant! Fantastic, catchy, and lively song that does everything right. And production is spotless. Another killer tune my friend!!! Take care. Greg

Yep, another pro production. My favorite line is "the whoop, the wild, the woman child." I liked how the solo guitars came in and didn't outstay their welcome. Many good things here, the voice first, needless to say.

Really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing.

Yep, the video from my internal CMT was running the whole time. All aspects of this strong and much appreciated. The Janettes. Priceless.

I was tempted to cut and paste that template from HTL, pretty much says it all I think!

I always enjoy listening to your music, I know I'm in for something special. And of course having the janettes in there is a little added bonus!

Lot's of great lines, my favorites:

"she loves a moonlit skinny dip
the taste of moonshine on her lips"

and

"she's a gentle rain, a hurricane
driving me insane"

Great stuff, floyd, very much enjoyed

welcome back,

awesome signature sound, I love the now familiar sound of you

and Janice blending seamlessly

this sounds like a title track to me, an instant hit

(sorry about the overuse of the word sound)

it's top notch and inspirational, love the drums

super write


Kenny

Very well done - that chorus is insanely catchy, and the vocals performance is extremely strong too. The harmonies are flawless and that hook is an immediate earworm. Not to mention, the mix on this is on point too. It sounds really professional.

Not a thing I'd change on this one - thanks for sharing!

Thanks, Jim!

Okay... I can go with the template thing... with a couple of caveats...

YOU FORGET TO FILL IT OUT! What ARE those quotable lines???

You seem to be giving Bud credit for my production/mix? What's up with that?? You know I think the world of Bud (he knows that, too, hopefully), but he gets plenty of credit for his own impeccable productions/mixes. Really. He DOES record Janice's incredible harmonies - and adds the processing to them, generally - and send them to me... But geez...

[stamp] Thanks! [/stamp]

Jim, HTL, Misha, Tangmo, Dave, Kenny, Dreyk

Thank y'all for mentioning the harmony. I'm proud to be a member of the janettes and hope mr jane keeps me on board

The imagery contained in these lyrics is poetic. Another good 'un.

Floyd, I loved the way you just launched into this with the vocals! Nice creative touch with the rhythm in the second verse! Wonderfully painted lyrical picture all the way through! You always lay down such a perfect vocal we all take it for granted! Janice's background vocals are a thing of beauty and sit perfectly in the mix! Loved it!! Thanks, Torrey

Another good one, Floyd. High degree of professionalism makes it easy to sit back and enjoy.

Hello Floyd ...

One thing is always guaranteed with a song from you ... never a disappointment! I went to my thesaurus to find a couple of new superlatives but it responded with "Sorry, you've already used all of them on this artist". How does "Better than pretty danged good" sound? Always a real treat to listen to your work.

I read a couple of previous comments about template setting. I believe this sets the template for writing a perfect country song. Out of words. Best to ya ...

Alan

PS: Janettes are sounding pretty cool, too!

Thanks, Steve... I do appreciate that... I look forward to anything you post, as well - great to have you around...




Bob - thanks for all of that. I'm especially pleased that you found this "fresh and contemporary"....

Simply put Another 'masterclass" in songwriting and production . Thanks Fj

This brings back some memories of a few folks I've known along life's path I have trod.

You handle the tracks in a masterful way. Nice work on the writing too.

I like the energy and the groove you set in this song.

Torrey and Al,

Thanks for mentioning the janettes!

Janice

Floyd, I can't be expected to do everything. I mean, what next? Have my assistant take a dictation on what what I feel those lines would be? My goodness; my wife already has plenty to do! Give her a break man.

You see, as a song writer, you want to start imagining being your listener. Then, and only then, can you relate to them better. Perhaps filling in the blanks about what I would think the great lines would be, would be a good start.



I knew he didn't on this song; but I clearly didn't think you actually read all of our comments...and there are MANY.

It's obvious what needs to be done here. Multiple forms! I've been sitting at the DMV since you wrote this yesterday to see how to create many, many forms with subtle differences. If anyone can help number f212 accomplish this; they can!



How did you get you stamp to work on here? Mine just leaves ink "Thanks!" marks all over my monitor.

Again, really great song. You placement of rhyme has seemed to have shifted; and I REALLY like it! It makes your songs really catchy but not in a "Barney" kind of way. You songs are so well crafted; it's impressive. Keep 'em comin'!

Nice to hear a faster tempo country pop song from you, that chorus is really catchy and the tempo expresses excellently the whirlwind and the hurricane in the story. Arrangement, vocals and mix are top stuff.

Janne

Misha - thanks for having a listen. And thanks for taking the time to make a suggestion - always appreciated. However, I will have to disagree in this case. The intent of background harmonies in this style of song are to give those parts (chorus mostly) a fuller, fatter sound...a "sweetening"... and not to "showcase the harmonies". They should not "have a personality" (as in "hearing more Janice" - I'm sure you know how much a Janice-fan I am). In fact, in this case, I took the harmonies that J&B sent - which included the processing that Bud adds - and hit them with a Nectar preset that "diffused" them, spread 'em out more...to make them blend even more into that "sweetening" background. I did go back and listen intently after your comment. I found them to be right where I feel they should be... Again... Thanks!





ray - thanks for the fine comments. Appreciated....

This is a corker Floyd. As soon as it started I was there, watching the scene. The chorus is tremendous, and I'm going to have it as an ear worm for the rest of the day. Great vocals and production as usual, and the Janice interjections were so right!

John

"...like looking for a pretty girl at the Miss Universe pageant!" HAHAHA... Love that, Greg! (might have to steal for a song). Thanks for a wonderful review!!

Another awesome tune Floyd. Loved the timing of the phrasing of your lyrics. This was very cool. I think this made the song very special. Excellent vocal, backtrack, and mix. Guitar was awesome. Very cool tone.. Well done

Thanks for listening, TM...




Always nice to have you drop by, Ember...

So good. A tribute to the free spirit. This love song has universal appeal, which is a feat in itself. Add in your vocal performance and that of the Janettes (Janice!) and the production - that's some mighty fine RT's mixing and editing by the way - and you've got another winner on your hands.

Take care.

Hi Floyd. You never fail to surprise. Another great write. I particularly enjoyed the vocal harmony.
As always your lyrics stand out and great choice for the band.
Great stuff Rob.

Tangmo - Thanks! Your "Priceless" gave me a real chuckle. And your mention of CMT made me miss the days when the channel was all-day Country music videos. I spent a lot of hours watching those then...




Thanks, Dave. I always appreciate your comments on my efforts... look forward to them, in fact...

A Floyd Jane song, added to a Floyd Jane write with Janice Bud Harmonies and production: " the whoop, the wild, the woman-child
what you see is what you get" really sums up the total.


My Jane/Merritt reply template: "Really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing." (c) Ember-PG-Music

It seems to always fit the bill...


so... Really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing.




But! This time there's more. For all it is, as is; Lyrically, this is a real good candidate for someone to turn this into a true Modern/Today's, current heard on the radio - song. To my mind anyway. I may be on a lonesome road, but I can hear it...

Kenny - Sounds like you enjoyed this one - which sounds good to me! I like that it sounds like you think I have a signature sound... Thanks for sounding off on this one!




Deryk - I'm pleased that you found so many things about this one to like... Thanks.

Hey Floyd,

Good God I got some catching up to do on this forum!

Man, this is a GREAT song. The sound is wall to wall professional studio with a high energy, radio ready mix. Love it man!

One thing, though--it seems like I have heard this somewhere else in another version. I recognize these lyrics. Did you do an earlier version of this or am I trippin'?

No need to answer the last question, just the first one.

Thanks, Scott!...




I appreciate the nice review, Torrey. Thanks!...

I appreciate that, Ed. Thaks for dropping in...




Thanks, Alan! Hope you are both doing well...

Floyd,

Another finely crafted tune, fresh and colorful lyrics with a great hook heading into that chorus. I think I have to crib from that template above. Seems to me as well there’s only so much to say when song after song is this well done. Great stuff!

Hope all is well in your world!

Deej

Good to see you back around, John. Thanks for stopping in...




Thanks for having a listen, Herb...

John, Olemon, Rob and Charlie,

Thanks for mentioning my small part in floyd’s wonderful song!

Janice

Hi Floyd,

what else would one expect from you than another great song. Great write, good flow, awsome vocals - although the adjectives I use to praise your songs are always the same, it's kind of a new sensation every time I listen to your music. Just too good. What else...

Cheers,

Stefan

Tee Hee.





Thanks, Janne!

Thanks, John. Coming from you that means a lot... your last one was a work of art!




Scoot - thanks so much for that very nice review!!!

Scott - thanks so much for that fine review... good to see you back around...




I appreciate that, Rob... Thanks!

Charlie - I appreciate that you see the potential in this. Thanks!!





Thanks, Mr. Snyder! You did hear this before - privately. All other questions are open to speculation...

Deej - good to have you stop in for a listen. Thanks for the nice comments...




Stefan - Thanks for that. Appreciated!!



JANICE - Thanks for always adding "that little something special" to my songs. (And Bud - thanks for recording the BGVs)

floyd,

Nice song!
It is a song exactly like the great example of the chord progression of "I - VIm - IV - V7".
Janettes are sounding really cool.
I agree with Janne.
Nice to hear a faster tempo country pop song from you, that chorus is really catchy and the tempo expresses excellently the whirlwind and the hurricane in the story. Arrangement, vocals and mix are top stuff.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

I actually love this kind of behavior... Women who are like that makes life interesting and unpredictable!

Very good song and - as always - perfectly produced!

Well done!
Will

nice!

Floyd, you wrote to me in another thread that you didn't want to "bump" this thread too much... if any song or thread ever deserved to be "bumped" a lot, this is the one...

Will

Hi floyd,

When I looked at the document that I created for writing about “Coloring Outside The Lines”, I had to blink twice. I seems that I started it on May 7 at 10:05 pm. I clearly recall that I was planning on returning to it the next day. I don’t know where all that time has gone to!

Even though I’m really late to the party, this song is brilliant is so, so many ways.

The first thing that really appealed to me was the way you started the vocals before any of the band got up and running. The way I see it, there is no more powerful way to grab a listener’s attention than to start a song this way. Such an approach to production isn’t used that often these days but some really famous songs and singers have used this technique with a great deal of impact. Titles that spring to mind are…

• Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis Presley)
• Purple People Eater (Sheb Woolley)
• Rock Around The Clock (Bill Hailey)
• Amazing Grace (Judy Collins, Il Divo)
• Hello God (Dolly Parton)

The way you’ve set the scene and introduced the lead character in verse 1 is spectacular! I found that by the end of the first verse, the image and traits of the woman you’re singing about were realistically vivid in my mind. You’ve painted the picture with some really masterful brushstrokes!

And that production and your singing… just WOW !

My favourite lines are "Coloring Outside The Lines" and “Hell-bent with the slightest hint of heaven” – that’re great metaphors and I seriously admire your ability to come up with them.

I totally enjoyed this (a few times).

All the best,
Noel

Nice work on this Floyd! Quite enjoyed the timbres this has and the instruments are layered nicely too. Very fun lyrics too. Thanks for sharing!

I was not going to visit this one again, but it seems to have a life of it's own (which is always nice)





Shigeki Adachi - thanks for the nice comments. (You have not been around in a while!!)




Will - THANKS for your terrific support of this song! I greatly appreciate it...




Thanks, Buja...






Noel - I am ALWAYS pleased to see you pop in to one of my song thread! Early or late...



I have to give some credit to Bud (and Janice?) - I originally had a 4 bar intro - the full band playing - and then a STOP - and then started singing (before the music jumped back in). They (J&B) thought it made the song too long. So I simply dropped the opening 4 bars...



It's comments like that that make it all worthwhile...


...and that, too...




Thanks for the great review, Noel!




Hey, Joe! Thanks for stopping in for a listen...