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Posted By: TuneMonger Poor Bewildered Me - 05/25/19 08:37 PM
https://soundcloud.com/user-770148857/poor-bewildered-me

Another song I wrote that was sung and played by a fivrr vocalist, with some Kontakt strings I added with RB.


Lyrics:

I knew a woman of a certain fashion
She held my keen attention for some time,
And stirred within me such enduring passion,
But never did we let our hearts entwine.
She's out there somewhere in the great big world now,
And I might find her if I were so bold,
But dreaming how it might have been seems better,
Than anything reality might hold,

There were a million ways into her heart,
A million places our love could have begun,
There were a million ways into her hear-ar-ar-ar-art,
But poor bewildered me,
I never found a single one.

Did she ever think of us together?
How I wish to have that answer still,
Was it worth the risk? I thought, no never,
To lose her through embrace at last fulfilled.
Life will have its way without exception,
Leading some together, some apart,
Was I ever sure of my intentions?
To the end I never would impart.

I still recall the last time that I saw her,
We caught a movie at the Biograph,
Nicholson on trial and Cruise the lawyer,
We played the final scene out for a laugh.
Life can hold such promise and fair weather,
Love is far less common, far less known,
People have their chances when together,
But love will only follow on its own.

Repeat chorus, then add:
But poor bewildered me, I never found a single one...of these days,
I hope that I see her -
Again.
Posted By: MarioD Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/25/19 09:56 PM
The finger picking guitar and the strings were perfect for this sad song. Your vocals were spot on, although I would have preferred just a heart in place of hear-ar-ar-ar-art, but that is nit-picking and probably just my tastes. That did not diminish the excellent song.

What a fantastic line People have their chances when together,
But love will only follow on its own.
this is! You did an excellent job on the lyrics.
Posted By: Scott C Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/25/19 11:08 PM
Very cool vocal and lyric. Some really interesting chord changes. Keeps you engaged in the song. I agree with Mario that the finger picking guitar track was such a nice compliment to the song. Really nice song. Well done
Posted By: Birchwood Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/26/19 07:06 AM
What nice lyrics! Chapeau (French: Very well done)
I agree a bit with Mario about that heart, but it vanishes immediately when hearing the lyrics and the way it was sung, so modest.
And all packed in a sweet melody.

Hans
Posted By: Jim Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/26/19 12:22 PM
A very good write Bob...
Sad but good...
I agree with Mario & Hans about "hear-ar-ar-ar-art"...
But I think perhaps it was the way the vocalist delivered the line & not the line itself.
Posted By: rayc Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 06:58 AM
"There were a million ways into her heart,
A million places our love could have begun,
There were a million ways into her heart,
But poor bewildered me,
I never found a single one."

Lovely,sad, melancholy song.
I think the fiver voice did a decent job - a singer songwriter rendition that suits the arrangement as well.
I think you might yet settle the vocal into the backing.
Are there different reverbs on the vocal and backing?
Often the diff. will make the odd one out sit in a different room.
I like the whole thing - well done.
Posted By: Skyline Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 10:59 AM
The lyrics here are stunning! What a lovely piece, well done on an excellent song.
I'd have liked for the guitar to be a lot more prominent in the mix, almost equal with the vocal, and the strings could come up a tad I think.

John
Posted By: Deryk - PG Music Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 11:14 AM
Nicely done! Love the stripped back nature of the song. Sometimes less is more, and this is a prime example. Very touching, and very sincere, particularly in the vocal delivery.

Great work, thanks for sharing smile
Posted By: Tangmo Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 11:21 AM
Really pretty, and very singer-songwriterly.

"Did she ever think of us together?
How I wish to have that answer still,
Was it worth the risk? I thought, no never,
To lose her through embrace at last fulfilled.
Life will have its way without exception,
Leading some together, some apart,
Was I ever sure of my intentions?
To the end I never would impart".

All those what-ifs and second guessing.

I love the turn of phrase at the end...but I'd have different hopes for the guy.
Posted By: floyd jane Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 01:54 PM
TM,

A beautiful, sad song...

The acoustic is very well done (did you okay that?) - well recorded...

"Nicholson on trial and Cruise the lawyer,
We played the final scene out for a laugh."

...what a great scene that paints!! Worth the price of admission.

Nice.

fj
Posted By: Janice & Bud Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 04:11 PM
Nice minimalist track...all that's needed for the write.

Yeah those lines floyd mentioned are worth the price smile

No problems with the vocal here...nothing wrong with bending some notes.

Kudos...we really like it!

J&B
Posted By: rsdean Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 08:40 PM
TuneMonger,

I really enjoyed this tune - love the folk feel & vibe.

Great lyrics, mix and a awesome vocal.

Bob
Posted By: Ember - PG Music Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/27/19 08:48 PM
I really loved a lot of the lyrical choices! Thanks for sharing.
Posted By: Rustyspoon# Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/28/19 09:28 AM
Very good lyrics on it. Vocals suit very well acoustic guitar backing. Strings work nicely, but a bit synthetic. I would try to find a more "acoustic" version. Just a personal view.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.
Posted By: 44kfl Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/28/19 12:34 PM
Very nice!

great write and sung emotionally


enjoyed the listen
Posted By: Joe -PG Music Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/28/19 02:40 PM
Hey TuneMonger, this is excellent! This is beautiful and very soothing to hear. Keep it up!
Posted By: Noel96 Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/28/19 06:32 PM
Hi Tunemonger,

This is an excellent listen. I love the way the lyrics flow so comfortably with the melody and harmony. It's terrific writing! And your singer is so very easy on the ears.

Very, very enjoyable.

Regards,
Noel
Posted By: Greg Johnson Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/28/19 09:10 PM
Very pretty song!! Some really interesting and deep lyrics too! I like the simple arrangements, although I think organic strings (from BIAB) would work better for something this stripped down. Vocalist had a really nice feel but was a bit pitchy at times. Really nice job!! Take care. Greg
Posted By: TuneMonger Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/30/19 02:15 AM
Thanks to all for your comments, I appreciate them. It's good to know how I can improve my song, and very satisfying to have so many appreciate the lyrics. Since I don't sing and BIAB usually does the instruments, the melody and lyrics are really all I do. So they mean a lot to me, and it's nice that they get received so well. : )
Posted By: Torrey Bliss Re: Poor Bewildered Me - 05/30/19 07:50 AM
TuneMonger, this is some very fine work! Reminds me so much of some of the great folk artists of the 70's. Harry Chapin comes to mind. Great storytelling packaged in very good track! Thanks, Torrey
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