Yesterday I found a progression at my fingertips, worked on it, found the tempo in BIAB, entered the chords n structure. I went for whatever style picker offered that encompassed It's Only Rock N Roll by the Rolling Stones. That gave me a pretty nifty drum track, (still tackling a clicky kick though).
This morning I added three guitars and bass then had BIAB build a solo to help map out the structure more clearly.
No ideas about narrative or, shudder, melody BUT it was fun hammering away at the guitar.
Sounds a bit Crazy Horse to my ears.
JUNE
NEXT MIX
I swapped a different cymbal pattern into the B (chorus) sections as I THINK the original was too splashy. Does the change work?
TWEAKS
LATEST MIX
I've replaced the RealTrack Wah solo with mu own awful one and put in a scratch/sketch vocal that's only semi solid in the chorus and is low in the mix in the verses as it's VERY sketchy.
TWEAKED some more

Slightly reworked lyrics and retracked vocal...a little stronger...
Incremental progress


Draft Lyric

Instead of Fireworks

V1
Just a spoon full of honey makes the acid less sour
He’d lose the ego the light in his soul would devour
He felt the beginning as Karma took power.

C1
The Eclipsed Celebrity Death Club Czar
Wondered if he’d left the doors ajar
Wrote “…one hundred micrograms intra muscular”


V2
Swami complained he’d broken the doors of perception
He looked outward focusing on introspection
Alice’s script was another Disney deception

C2
The Eclipsed Celebrity Death Club Czar
Hadn’t noted the date on his calendar
Wrote “…one hundred micrograms intra muscular”
Solo

V3
The point as always was counter point
And he ignored young Bess’s offer to anoint
He knew from the first this brave new world would disappoint

Hi rayc,

Nice progression in agreement with a pleasant metal style. The guitar solo comes a little late. But the mix is ​​great.

Best regard

Dero13 alias JaniJackFlash

Hi Ray,

This is you on all the guitars? Nice! I especially like that wha guitar.

Nice progression!

Lots of potential with this one, looking forward to hearing it fleshed out.

Thanks for listening Dero.
If it sounds like metal I'll have to do a rethink though.

Everything but the drums and WAH is me. That's a BIAB realsolo.
Thanks for your kind words.
The Realtrack WAH will go if/when I have something to replace it with.
I have a nice old (late 80s) JH1 Wah and I love it BUT I can't play lead for the life of me.

ray,

LOVE the "getting ready" noises at the beginning!!

Great energy. The guitars are talking loud-and-proud.
I wanted the bass to have just a little more "definition". It gets a little lost in the mix at times.

This is close already.

Looking forward to see where it goes....

fj

Ray,
Nice! Sometimes coolest things come unexpectedly. I liked the panning effect of guitars. Wah works like a charm. I do wish to hear more of the bass, kind of hiding, and it is the one you want to hear. Overall, very solid bed. Interesting where it would lead. Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Ray,
Cool, dense, driving bed of sound - close to ready for the vocal track.
Yeah nearly Crazy Horse ( 10 minutes too short!)

Robert

Thank you sir,
Bass tweaked on suggestions from yourself and Misha.
I'm becoming quite keen on the potential cinema verite aspects that can be included in a simple song vid. I think I need a plugging in noise to fake the real!

Thanks Misha,
I've tweaked the bass a bit for you.

Thanks Robert,
It probably would've stretched to 15 minutes if I could wail away on lead. Thankfully I can't.

We didn't listen before the bass tweaks but it certainly sounds good now.

Man, that snare sounds huge in a good way.

Great use of the wah RT.

The distortion tracks are really good. Tom Adams once told me that
"grit comes from putting hair around the edges." You have just the
right amount of "hair."

Look forward to the final product!

J&B

Hi Ray,

Cool song you made. I am curious how the singing will be in it.
That chordprogression gives the song a very nice tension.
The only thing is I can't hear 'Crazy horses' in it. I played that song many times, but maybe I had another version ;-)
But who cares when your final song comes out. It already sounds very strong. And with a smoky abrasive voice it must be marvelous.
Keep on going!

Hans

Thanks J&B,
The snare was strong in the RealDrum track. I found its freq, and gave it a little bump upward. The reverb on the drums, (wide chamber instrument), did the rest I think. There's not much of it but just enough to accentuate.
I was surprised at the distortion...the amp isn't "dimed" and the master volume is at about 2 but I used at 70s EQ pedal to boost and as well as adding a strong mid peak.
Thanks again.

Hans,
THIS Crazy Horse...
The otehr one - well, if it was the Osmonds then I can understand the difference - that one sold REALLY well in the US but it's weird hard rock for a boy band.
Thanks for the kind words.

Hey rayc, I really like the gritty, grungy sound on that track from the guitars and the chord progression is pretty cool too. I think any hint of metal is probably coming from one of those chord transitions, and the fact that the transitions are pretty rapid and more chromatic than diatonic (to my ear). I would say there's definitely a Neil Young'ish vibe in there but he probably had too much "stimulant" .

Cool song!

Hi Ray, This is really one kick @ss song! IMHO it don't need no stinking vocal. YMMV

Super groove and a spot on mix.

Good work here!

Ah, now I understand our confusion on the name. I had the song of the Rolling Stones in mind. and now I can place your song better in this context. I think your song will be much better, but only when the vocals are included!

Hans

Ed Z,
Thank you sir,
This was an attempt by me to slow down as I'd be beyond 130 to 160 recently.
This represents a stately pace for me at the moment and the changes are , at their most frequent, only one per bar. I think that comes from me being, basically, a bass player used to filling in the space between chord changes so now write to avoid spaces...min you it was uncommon for me, and rather difficult, to hammer away at just Em for eight bars for the intro, but I made myself do it.
I can see how the "slipping in" of a chromatic change could give a modern metal impression - along with mostly power chords for the verses.
I was recently torn to shreds online by a bloke who couldn't handle me writing without a root chord. Music is wonderfully liberating until one allows the "rules" to tie one down. I can see you're not tethered!
Again, thanks for your generous words.

Oh, I LOVE the tag Ed Z... in Oz/NZ/UK English that's Edd Zed.

Thanks Mario,
With my voice it's better off with no steenkeeng vocal.
When I let the RealTrack solo play through I'd agree with you BUT I started making music in my late teens becasue i was writing bad poetry that had a better chance of not being laughed at if it were hung on chords. After all, most folk don't read lyrics.
Thanks for your very kind assessment.

Hi Rayc,

Composition well constructed, I love the lead waha. All that's missing is words on it.

Best regard

Dero13 alias JaniJackFlash

I really dig it, Ray. Definitely has a Crazy Horse vibe to it. I like the progression, the instruments, and the mix. I'd love to hear your vocals if/when you put them in.

There's a newer version in the OP that has a sketch for the verses and a semi sorted chorus...my voice isn't up to either though so beware.

Updated in OP.

Ray

Sounding good to me - guitars are nicely balanced and the bass (post adjustment) sits well.

Should be a good one.

Peter

Listened to the "incremental Progress" link. Punk. Yeah, I'm talking to you. In a weird way, it sounds "finished". Is that good?

Hi Ray.
A bit harder than I imagined The vocals you recorded is just what it needed. Everything works well, but I compared two versions side by side, first and the last... The first, instrumental bed, has more clarity and seems louder. Maybe it is the loudness, that makes it more clear in my head In any case, it is a good one, and given the short production time, it is awesome! Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

Yeah, nice and grungy, just need the vox to come WAY up in my ear's admittedly faulty opinion.

rayc,

Great opening—really cool chord progression. As do others, I like the lead guitar sound here—nice contrast the the heavy rhythm guitars. The vocal fits the genre and works for me; agree it can come forward a bit. Awesome first line in that chorus! Some good advice along the way, but it’s shaping up very fine. Keep at it!

Best regards,

Deej

Boy do I love this. Very cool intro with the wah. Lot forward to hearing the finish tune. Well done

Cool heavy rocker!! Coming along nicely!! Take care. Greg